The Sunday Morning Post: Love in the Middle of a Firefight

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baseballbed.jpgWhat happened last night while you wrote mildly amusing game recaps at your in-laws. Your in-laws horse farm, to be exact. On a laptop without Firefox, tabbed browsing, keys for the letters S & D, and a connection speed above 56 Mbps

Yankees 5, Orioles 3: The AL East - Where Italian ballplayers Returning From Extended Turns on the DL Happens. Crazy Carl rode some early run support for 5 innings, picking up his first win since the day before forever. Giambi and Matsui donged and Dave Trembley stomped his way out of the game in the 2nd inning. If loving Carl Pavano is wrong, I don't want to be on Who's the Boss? The Rays continued to lay solid foundation under their house of cards, riding more strong bullpen work (three hitless innings) until they finally got to former Expo Javier Vasquez. He was perfect through 5, Jermaine Dye hit two tots, but the Sox still lost. Lost Sox in Toronto too! Jesse Litsch's smoke and mirrors baffled the Red Sox while Vernon Wells double totting bruised them, bringing the Jays and Yanks one game closer in the Wild Card.

Diamondbacks 7, Marlins 1: Yusmeiro Petit stole Micah Owings job, and he don't want to give it back. 6 innings of 2 hit ball is conducive to employment, especially in the "starter pitcher" market segment. One of the hits was a home run by my NL Boyfriend Hanley Ramirez, but Chris Young and Miguel Montero covered that and then some. Barry Zito has heard the cliche his entire life, but finally realized his record wasn't going to get any better unless he "helped his own cause." The Dude picked up his first RBI of the year, and his Giants ruined Dirk "Imaginative nickname derived from a high-brow skin flick" Hayhurst's big league debut. In true NL West style, this game featured zero homers but 2 triples! How sweet.

Angels 7, Twins 5: The Halos were able to overcame a bad Jon Garland start (even by Jon Garland standards!) thanks to the Twins actively participating in their own downfall. Two third inning errors by Brian Buscher led to a four run outburst. Mark Texeira added an insurance ding dong, making Frankie Rodriquez's already simple job that much easier. He's now one save short of 50, and we're seven days short of September. The Angels stat geek-speak "magic number" is now down to 19. Never ask a girl her "magic number" if you don't really want to know. Frugal Lefty Dana Eveland beat Decadent Lefty Jarrod Washburn in a game that defines the Dog Days exactly. C'mon Jarrod, you can't have a pitchers duel if one guy barely qualifies as a pitcher!

Phillies 9, Dodgers 2: The Phillies scored three runs in three seperate innings, powered by Pat Burrel's 30th home run of the year. He went three for five, and knocked in five runs. Five is better than three, so the numerology is even crazier. Johnny Maine (ain't a damn thing changed) got lit up by the Astros, well the two Astros that are famous and/or good anyway. Lance Berkman and Miguel Tejada notched 6 hits and 6 RsBI, which is surprising when you consider that manager/luddite Cecil Cooper hit Michael Bourne second. I must not understand the nuance of having a sub .300 on base percentage guy getting to bat with the second most frequency on your team. So he's been successful there, that doesn't make it right!

Cubs 9, Nats 2: Rather quietly (quietly Canadian, but loudly All Star teamed), the disastrous closer known as the Cum Dempster is having the best season among Cubs starters. Dude scattered 8 hits of 7.1 innings, only walking one terrible Nat. Aramis Ramirez knocked two dingers, (Mark DeRosa had one too) and the Cubbies continued to cruise. The Brewers stayed in control of the Wild Card, thanks to Ryan Braun's powerful bat and refusal to abide by the laws of a beautiful tradition, 3000 years of in the making. Albert Pujols could hit dandruff off an albino, but one man's 1.100 OPS is another man's intentional walk.

Too bad AL Central, you came so close. The price of gas is finally coming down, so I'll gladly distribute it to you in Face form. If I can work the butter churn fast enough, I'll wander through the day games in a mildly amusing fashion.

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5 Comments

Wait, it's 9 AM in Canadia right now?

I clicked on the Iggy Pop link and found out Red Hot Chili Peppers did a cover of that song. Surprisingly it didn't suck. The music was fantastic, but Kiedis' vocals could not hack it at all. As far as covers go, I'd say it was on par with Alkaline Trio's "Metro" cover, but fathoms below Hendrix's "All Along The Watchtower."

I am pretty wasted. But not wasted enough to not notice the A's won...AGAIN! If only we could face the M's all the time.

"If only we could face the M's all the time."

That's the rallying cry for the entire rest of the league.

From Moses to Ryan Braun? You're goddamned right I'm living in the fucking past.

I almost always skip AK3's Metro; whatever gets me to Warbrain faster...

During last night's M's/A's game, the announcers lamented that "one year ago, the M's were 1.5 games behind the Angels for the division." So sad

my NL Boyfriend Hanley Ramirez

David Wright just lost his breath.

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