This Ear Tastes Like Ear

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mayhem_logo.jpgI'm going to a minor league game tonight. I love minor league baseball. I love the parks, I love the fans and I love all the extra curricular nonsense surrounding the games. All that being said, there is no way I am as passionate about it as Ogden, UT's finest son, Donnie Haskins.

Two Ogden neighbors got into a fight after a minor league baseball game that ended with one them biting off a part of the other's ear.

The two men, Kevin Olsen, 54, and Donnie Gaskins, 41, had returned to Gaskins home from the Ogden Raptors baseball game late

Wednesday when police say Olsen apparently offended Gaskins with a comment.

Ogden Police Lt. Scott Sangberg says Gaskins responded by striking Olsen in the face several times and then clamping down on his ear with his teeth and pulling back with enough force to rip off a part of the ear.

Gaskins was booked into the Weber County Jail and is facing charges of assault causing mayhem, assault of an officer, possession of marijuana, intoxication and resisting arrest, Sangberg said.

Um. Yeah. I'd say Gaskins was offended. That is one tremendous rap sheet. I've always wanted a mayhem tag.

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Will you be taking your shirt off at this minor-league game this evening, perhaps?

Assault of an officer and resisting arrest? Not too shabby.

He was charged with mayhem? That makes me feel a little less ashamed of those incidents of tomfoolery on my rapsheet.

Olsen apparently offended Gaskins with a comment.

I get offended by comments on WoW all the time. I'm gonna start biting ears off now.


Every time you apply for a job do you have to tell them you're a convicted ne'er do well?


Yes. And every time I move to a new neighborhood, I have to notify all my neighbors that I'm a scallywag.

I think Gunter is going to bite your ring fingers off after that comment on the last post.

Actually, "mayhem" literally refers to the crime of dismembering a person. It's one of the most ancient felonies in Anglo-American law!

/law geek

The most ancient felony in anglo-american law is being a savage native.

The most ancient felony in Anglo-American law is insisting that baseball came from rounders, when everyone knows that Jesus brought baseball to American along with those gold tablets for Joseph Smith.

I heard that Sangberg's wife sleeps with all the other guys on the force.

Will you be taking your shirt off at this minor-league game this evening, perhaps?


@ ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

Well, Sangberg was a bright-eyed rookie fresh out of the academy when it happened. Routine welfare call. Someone calls 911 to see if grandma's alright. Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she'd been decomposing on the bathroom floor for weeks -- didn't matter to Sangberg. It'd only been six weeks, but he'd already seen worse, and he'd see worse again.

But the mother. The child. The blood.

It was about that time Sangberg started with the whiskey. And Mrs. Sangberg, who was a cold lady when they'd met, started staying out, days at a time.

Jesus, that sucked.

/not a first draft writer*

*Please see all previous comments.

Assault of an officer and resisting arrest? Not too shabby.

How do you assault an officer and NOT resist arrest? It's like ordering a sandwich with TWO pieces of bread. It's just implied, I think.

Not unless you order the club.

@jayhawk - I was ... just trying ... to make a Ryne Sandberg joke.
But thanks for whatever that is/was.

/see ryno's wife slept with half the cubs. allegedly.

@ ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

I had heard that's why they didn'r resign Maddux after his first Cy Young, but could never keep straight who banged whose wife.

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