Yankees Losing Race To Division, Wild Card, Frat House Bragging Rights

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From that bastion of news and sports reporting, the New York Post's Page Six, comes this story about Yankee stars Jason Giambi and Joba Chamberlain struggling on an entirely different playing field. The Beirut table.

IT would be tough for average Joes to beat a couple of Yankees at baseball, but slamming them in a game of beer pong was no sweat. Last week, Jason Giambi and Joba Chamberlain were celebrating their win against the Kansas City Royals at Southern Hospitality, on Second Avenue, when a table of fans challenged them to a game of the college drinking sport. Our spy said, "The fans gave them a beating. Toward the end Chamberlain and Giambi got really competitive, but it wasn't enough."

Apart from the writer's insistence on calling the game by it's simplistic misnomer, everything else seems to check out. I have absolutely no problem imagining Chamberlain and Giambi grunting out various takes on "bro" while their hamfists struggle to maintain aim. Meanwhile across the table stand two SEC expats applying a thin layer of regional patina to "dude." Camera phone flashes explode as the two millionaire athletic behemoths struggle before eventually succombing to Joes Twelvepack with two straight bullseyes. The shrieks of the floozies surround the table rise as the common man emerges victorious.

In other words, it sounds like the worst goddamned thing I've ever heard. There are no winners here.

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All of this at a resto owned by Justin Timberlake.

Kill me now.

Cry Me a River

This is only shocking in that it didn't happen at the Big Easy. Southern Hospitality is (somehow) too classy for the likes of Stache and Gnat Swatter.

The only way this would be better is if they were tossing empty syringes into little plastic cups of HGH.

Beirut = throwing.
Beer Pong = paddles.

Why is that so hard for people to remember?

Jason Giambi and Joba Chamberlain were celebrating their win against the Kansas City Royals
Celebrating a win against the royals is like giving a high five to your friends after nailing a $10 hooker

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