Bald Guys To Put Tops Up On Their Convertibles: Bad Baseball Weather

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If you're a Mets fan, you'll have someone else to curse this weekend besides your bullpen. God. Seems the Fat Man (that's what I call him) plans on doing some Noah's Ark shit all over the eastern seaboard this weekend and the NL Wild Card race could be the worse off for it.

Much of the East Coast is expected to get heavy rain over the next few days, and that could complicate pivotal games involving the New York Mets and the Philadelphia Phillies, two teams that with the Milwaukee Brewers are in the National League playoff hunt.

If the Mets' game Friday is rained out, that would require a double-header either Saturday or Sunday. According to the New York Times, the Mets have used up their quota of day-night doubleheaders. That means the Mets would have to play a doubleheader back-to-back.

Hey Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. I love you, but stop hyphenating doubleheader. It makes you look like an ass. Between this mess with the Wild Card and that White Sox/Twins series, the midwest hasn't been this exciting since the 1968 Democratic Convention.

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Whoever wants to win the Presidential Election should run on this platform:

Federal Mandate #1 - All stadiums receiving any sum of public funding shall be retractable domes.
Federal Mandate #2 - All baseball games will be played outdoors when temperatures are between 50 and 90 degrees and witout precipitation. When precipitation falls and/or the temperature falls outside the set range, the roof shall be closed.
Federal Mandate #2B - all football games shall be played outdoors unless the temperature falls below 20 degrees or exceeds 90 degrees F.

I, too, have exhausted my quota of day-night doubleheaders.

I, too, pour whilst raining.

Weatherman telling us its gonna rain
now we're in a droptop soaking wet
in a silk suit
trying not to sweat

I too, go outside pantsless, umbrella in hand.

Wait a minute. There's a QUOTA on day-night doubleheaders? How does that even make sense? Who the hell implemented that?

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