Baseball's Tenuous Battle for Important Stuff: 11 Days To Go

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Note: Baseball Before Bedtime will no longer be seen on Walkoff Walk in 2008 so that we may bring you short and mildly amusing recaps about games that made a goddamn difference in the race for the postseason. Sorry, Blue Jays fans.

Phillies 6, Braves 1: Raise your hand if, back in June, you thought people would be mentioning the words "Ryan", "Howard", and "MVP" in the same sentence without using the word "former". Okay hands down. Fella picked up another RBI to support rookie J.A. Happ's six scoreless innings, while fatso Matt Stairs collected his first ding-dong as a Phillie. In batting race news, Chipper Jones had a hit to stay 11 points ahead of Albert Pujols. Big whoop.

Mets 9, Nationals 7: The Mets stay a half a game behind Philly despite cycling through seven relievers to earn a nailbiting win over a stinkeroo team. Luis Ayala got a one-out 'save' by striking out someone named Roger Bernadina to end the game after Pedro Feliciano nearly gave up the farm. Carlos Beltran donged from both sides of the plate.

Brewers 6, Cubs 2: Milwaukee won the game but lost Ben Sheets to apparent forearm tightness after just two innings of work. New manager Dale Sveum (haha I can't get used to that) emptied the chamber and used seven relievers to hold back the Cubs and keep the Brew Crew a game behind the Mets. Walkoff Walk favorite Salomon Torres notched his 28th save.

Marlins 14, Astros 2: Florida stays in the race and moves one game closer to Houston in the Wild Card standings behind two taters from Hanley Ramirez. They'll need to carry on without him, though, as Ramirez left with a shoulder ouchie and is now day-to-day. Ricky Nolasco pitched well despite allowing two solo dongs to Hunter Pence.

Rays 10, Red Sox 3: David Ortiz' pair of homers wasn't enough as Tim Wakefield knuckled under pressure. Wait, that's his job. Perhaps he didn't knuckle enough under pressure. I have no idea, I didn't watch the game. Tampa's up three in the loss column.

Elsewhere, the White Sox and Twins both lost to continue the misery of the AL Central, while Arizona picked up a game on L.A.

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Twenty-fucking-three, bitches!

You should be more excited for commenter Chipper Jones.

Fuck me, Cliff didn't get the win. Guess I'm the bitch.

"...donged from both sides of the plate."

Piazza is back with the Mets?

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