Baseball's Tenuous Battle for Important Stuff

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Note: Baseball Before Bedtime will no longer be seen on Walkoff Walk in 2008 so that we may bring you short and mildly amusing recaps about games that made a goddamn difference in the race for the postseason. Sorry, Braves fans.

Phillies 6, Brewers 3: I watched the first few innings of this important game with wild-card implications on some website that was showing a live feed of Japanese TV. When Ryan Howard hit his first inning two-run ding-dong, the Japanese announcers took a break from their language to shout "IT'S GONE" and "HOME RUN" in English, as if it was the single greatest home run in baseball history. Moral: baseball is more fun in Japanese. The Phillies close to within 3 of the idle Mets and 3 of the Brewers.

Cubs 3, Cardinals 2: Of course, after about an hour of the Phillies game, whoever was illegally transmitting that contest switched to the Chicago-St. Louis game so as to show Kosuke Fukudome and his band of merry Cubbies attempt to step on the Cardinals' collective face and push 'em outta playoff contention. Of course, this was eventually pre-empted by Angels-Mariners so as to show Ichiro...being Ichiro.

Astros 6, Pirates 0: Somehow, the Astros just keep on keepin' on despite the utter incompetence of General Manager Ed Wade. This time, Roy Oswalt put his balls on the line and absolutely positively shut down the weak Pirates lineup for his second straight complete game shutout. Fella even retired 20 straight at one point and needed just 90 pitches to finish the contest. The game was over in 129 minutes, or 37 whole minutes shorter than the latest Spike Lee joint. 'Stros pick up a game on Milwaukee.

Royals 3, Twins 2 (10): Oh, that Minnesota bullpen. Embarking on another 10 game road trip could not possibly be good for the Twinkies, and to leave home on this sour note will make even the happiest-go-luckiest fan let loose with an audible sigh. Dennys Reyes gave up the game-winning hit to Rutgers' own David DeJesus, of all people.

Blue Jays 6, White Sox 4: Scoreless after seven, this one exploded into real live baseball in the eighth. The Jays put up a six-spot in the top half and the Sox dropped four in the bottom. Adam Lind left eight (8!) runners on base. The Sox remain 1 game ahead of the Twins. (oops!)

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Sorry, Braves fans

Why? I quit caring a month ago.

According to Variety you're better off at a Royals-Mariners game in late September than you are at Spike's latest film:

I get my feed from a nursing home and experience a similar problem. They're always flipping the channels to Jamie Moyer, David Weathers, Randy Johnson and Greg Maddux.

That's one game aheah bitch.

That's one game ahead bitch.

At least someone from Rutgers showed up last night.

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