Carlos Quentin & Chone Figgins, Two Sides Of The Same Creampuff

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A couple injury updates rode the news gurney into my consciousness this morning. They regard two of the most important players on the White Sox and Angels, and there's good news and bad news, respectively. Hey, I'm pretty good at this doctor thing. Someone give me some nitrous and a scalpel.

First, the good news. Joe Cowley at the Sun Times is reporting that Carlos Quentin's progress from a fractured wrist is better than expected and he will actually rejoin the team this weekend. They expect him to take batting practice with the team. No guarantee he'll be back before the end of the season, but Chicago fans may want to hold their breath. Which is hard to do when you're chain eating hot dogs.

Now for the bad news, Chone Figgins he of the Angels and oft used phrase "catalyst," is making no progress trying to return from an elbow injury. Carl Pavano hit him with a fastball on Sept 8th, and Figgins says the soreness is not going away. He's returning to SoCal from Oakland for an MRI. The Pavano detail just makes things worse. Why couldn't he just injure himself and leave peacefully? Why'd he have to take down someone from a contender? It's like a single engine plane crashing into a house. AIM FOR THE FIELD.

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But Donnie Darko wanted that plane to crash into the house.

It's polish sausages we inhale, but still, thanks for the advice.

Take your Cory Lidle jokes elsewhere!

I once received a nitrous tank as a housewarming present. That's a good guest.

Can being hit by a Carl Pavano fastball actually hurt that bad?

If your name is "Chone Figgins" and you are made out of porcelain, then yes.

Naw fuck that. Figgins and the Angels can eat a dack. Any of you guys Angels fans? Good.

How is Quentin coming back good news?

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