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- 12:05, White Sox at Indians: No one wants to win the AL Central. It's official. The White Sox have lost two in a row to Cleveland, and the Twins lost at Toronto. Won't someone think of the children? Things are shaping up to make the White Sox/Twins series starting on 9/23 the biggest tilt of the year. But for today, I'm sure Ozzie's crew would love to avoid the broom closet as Javy Vasquez takes on Jeremy Sowers. And hey, how about those Indians! A late charge towards competency so that everyone keeps their job. Sounds like my last office. Catch the fever!
- 1:10 Braves at Marlins: After last night's 30 run barnburner, the South will early rise again. Jorge Campillo takes on Chris Volstad. If they score 30 again, everyone gets a free Miami Sub courtesy of Iracane.
- 1:35, Orioles at Red Sox: The Sox also batted around heartily last evening. Everytime Dustin Pedroia came up there were chants of "MVP" which seemed a tad (very) overwrought, but then the Munchkin drove in 5, so what the hell do I know. I bow to your wisdom, Sully. Lance "Blisters" Cormier takes on Daisuke Matsuzaka.
- 2:05, Mets at Brewers: New York looks to pull out the dustpan in impressive fashion against Milwaukee. The Crew was streaking into Shea. Not only that, they had won 8 of 9, which is really impressive when you're naked. Oliver Perez has won 4 of his last 5 decisions takes that grain of salt to the mound against Dave Bush and Rob gon' glog it.
- 2:05, Mariners at Rangers: Felix Hernandez takes on Milton Bradley and Josh Hamilton! Also some other stuff happens. Dustin Nippert goes for Tayhoss.
- 3:05, Giants at Rockies: Colorado sits just 5 games out and would like nothing more than to drink from the healing bristles of a San Fran sweep. Barry Zito faces Aaron Cook. No wonder Zito has had a rough year. HE'S BEEN PITCHING IN JEANS.
- 3:40, Cards at Snakes: There's rubber at stake as Kyle Lohse takes on Doug Davis. Look at the chin pubes on these two. The Cards are now 5.5 out of the Wild Card and my only regret is that they hung on this long. Welp, time for a team wide bender!