It's So Cold in the D: Kenny Rogers is Doneskis

| | Comments (18)
kennyrogers.jpg

After getting absolutely slammed in the Tigers 11-7 loss to the ChiSox on Sunday, it seems as if Kenny Rogers' tenure in Detroit is over. Manager Jim Leyland is going to run through the remainder of 2008 with some other gentlemen in the rotation, including recent call-up Dontrelle Willis and his jaunty hat.

Rogers is 1-7 with a 9.00 ERA over his last nine starts. He's also the oldest known human being in the American League and his aged stone face is slowly eroding due to the extreme weather in the Northern climes of Michigan.

Leyland said on Monday that he's "shutting down" Rogers for the rest of the season. Had Rogers taken his regular turn, there was time remaining for him to make two more starts, but those will now be made by someone else.

As Leyland was quoted saying about the way Rogers threw Sunday night against the White Sox: "His equipment isn't quite what it was."

Rogers' contract is up after this season and his career is probably over. He'll retire with 219 career wins against 156 losses, five Gold Glove awards, and an ill-begotten World Series ring with the Yanks in '96, a postseason where he threw seven innings, allowed fifteen hits, and let in eleven runs. If there's a Hall of Fame for People Rob Iracane Hates, he's a surefire unanimous first ballot fella. Good riddance, sir!

(BBTF brings us news and gets the Cokes)


PREVIOUS: Baseball's Tenuous Battle for Important Stuff: 13 Days To Go   |   NEXT: Movin' On Up With Taylor Teagarden

18 Comments

His plaque can go right next to the guy that invented the statutory rape law.

Also, he provided a Walkoff Walk to end the 1999 NLCS.

He was the only reason I wanted to see Detroit in the playoffs, he always made it interesting.

Looks like he'll have plenty of time to pitch that Coward of the County remake that he's been itching to do.

This is just like that drug trip i saw in that movie when i was on that drug trip.

Hopefully when Leyland shows Rogers the door, Leyland grinds out his ciggie on Rogers' mammoth forehead.
So long, asshole!

As Leyland was quoted saying ... "His equipment isn't quite what it was."

The water was cold!

It's not "fast food," it's "good food quickly."

I'm also pretty sure he threw a perfect game in '93.

@Jiegel
I heard that if you sync up that drug trip movie right after the lion roars for the third time with this album, it's, like, really cool and shit.

Let's not forget him attacking and sodomizing a cameraman.

No chicken jokes?

Vile weed!

@ gravy: To get to the other side?

@ gravy

i made one. i poured you all over it, it was delicious

Hall of Fame for People Rob Iracane Hates

Will Todd Jones be a first timer on the ballot?

I've already inducted Justin Morneau.

It seems that's going to be 2008 AL MVP Justin Morneau.

Leave a comment