Mets Will "Be Creative" To Figure Out Closer Role in '09

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As per Matt Cerrone of Mets Blog Presented by GEICO who read Ken Davidoff's column in Newsday who spoke with an anonymous source who is "informed of the team's thinking", the Mets will not pursue soon-to-be free agent and new single-season saves record holder Francisco Rodriguez this offseason. Translation: Mets no wantee K-Rod for bigtime money.

Instead, they will seek to "be creative" in figuring out exactly who is going to come into close game in the late innings while shitty nu-metal music is blasting from the P.A. at Citi Field. To wit:

If Luis Ayala can close all the way through the playoffs without incident, then he seems a cinch to return as a free agent. Among Ayala, the emerging Brian Stokes, youngster Bobby Parnell, whom scouts from other teams have regarded as a potential late-inning reliever, and other low-budget choices, the Mets -- who have reminded people that Rivera once was a closer waiting for a chance -- hope to find an answer.

Eek, you call that 'creative'? I call that scrambling. I call that wishful thinking. I call bullshit on this 'rumor'. Heck, I love the idea of re-building from within, but what if the team's best prospects are now wearing Twins uniforms?

This 'source' claims that the Mets do not want to invest in pitchers, especially after getting saddled with Billy Wagner's salary next season and having broken the proverbial bank with Johan Santana's record contract. But hey, what are the Mets if they're not an organization that throws a ton of money at their problems? Can you see any other G.M. driving a dumptruck full of money up to Rodriguez' house this December besides Omar Minaya? No! The Mets will have a huge cash infusion from selling old junk and selling luxury boxes to cash-rich firms like Lehman Bros or Merrill Lynch or AIG. What else would they possibly do with all that dough? Rebuild their farm systems? Ha!

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They could start a soccer team.

The NYT had an interesting article a while back about what happens to closers after 50-save seasons (quick summary: they start to suck)

Saves are overrated stats anyway. Very few pitchers ever even get opportunities to save 55+ games a year, let alone actually come through with the goods.

I'm excited for K-Rod to sign with the Rangers, be good for half a season, get traded to the Red Sox, immediately blow 5 games, win a world series, sign with the Brewers in the offseason and immediately blow 7 games.

Sounds like Omar finally read Moneyball.

Here's a creative idea that's guaranteed to bring a dozen extra wins : Do Not Let Billy Wagner Be Your Closer.

Attention Mets : I am available for hire for half of what Omar MiFreakingNaya makes.

It's a three-horse race between Rinku, Dinesh and Todd Jones sir.

Actually, if we could get a three-legged race between Rinku-Dinesh and Todd-Andruw, it would really be something.

As long as that race is not in who can eat the most cheeseburgers in two minutes, because I fear nobody can stand against the duo of Todd Jones and Andruw Jones.

Having Todd and Andruw lashed together during an eating contest sounds like trouble.

When Todd Jones gets an idea, there is a picture of a hunk of flaming whale fat above his head.

Todd Jones would never be tethered to another man because he hates the gays.

BJ Ryan = free to a good home. Takehimtakehimtakehim

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