Movin' On Up With Taylor Teagarden

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A leader is starting to emerge in the Ranger catcher debacle. With Salty on the DL and Gerald Laird sobbing, Taylor Teagarden has stepped up big time. He's got 13 hits in 12 games. Ten of them for extra bases, including 6 funny bones. Our boy David Pinto is projecting Teagarden at catcher for next season saying that with him, "Michael Young and Ian Kinsler in the middle infield and Josh Hamilton in center, the Rangers are looking very strong up the middle for 2009."

Last night was Tea's biggest in the bigs .He had 5 RBI including a King Dong. It was special for not only him, but also Texas fan Glenn "Wheezy" Wistman. You see that grand slam won Wistman some cash.

Glenn Listman was daydreaming Monday afternoon, wondering what it might be like to win $25,000 on a FSNSW Rangers broadcast.

"I was thinking how funny it would be if Taylor Teagarden hit the grand slam because he's so hot right now," said Listman, 44, who is a defensive driving instructor in Haslet. "I felt good when I saw him in the lineup."

Teagarden's grand slam in the Sonic Slam inning earned Listman, who sent in his name with the nickname of Wheezy, the big check. He said he'll probably pay bills and maybe use some of it to go on a vacation.

"I'm not a lucky guy, but I went to a Corpus Christi game and caught my first ever foul ball three weeks ago," Listman said. "I can tell you, I'm going to buy some lottery tickets and strike while the iron is hot."

WHEEZY! Forget the bills and the vacation, Wheeze. I like the lottery idea best. In fact, you should probably put all $25K on scratchoffs and watch that money grow. You can take two vacations! LET IT RIDE WHEEZY! LET IT RIDE!

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Wheezy, your play here is Lehman shares. Thank me later.

The Sonic Slam generally occurs to one's intestines approximately 3 to 4 hours after consuming Sonic.

So, Tea is getting more than a cup of coffee with the Rangers?

"I'm not a lucky guy"

I disagree. A Defensive Driving Instructor who plans on using $25K to pay bills is living the dream.

I thought Wheezy was already a milli a milli a millionaire.

"Listman, 44, who is a defensive driving instructor in Haslet.."

So, his official title is "Guy who teaches other people how to piss people off driving in the left lane 10 MPH below posted speed"?

No, it's Texas.

He teaches you how to use a pump action rifle while driving.

"Linda Hamilton-style" has the highest degree of difficulty. In Texas, "degree of difficulty" means "chance you'll shoot a hole through your roof and/or window and/or child.

Are we sure that the words "Michael Young" and "Strong up the middle" should be used in the same sentence when not in a negative fashion?

Dude is OPS'ing a solid .729 this year (third year in a row that it's declined) and is for all intents and purposes locked in a fierce battle with Derek Jeter for Worst Defensive Shortstop in the AL.

This ain't '05.



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