Once More Unto the Breach, Dontrelle

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scaredtwinsfans.jpgTwo division races may be wrapped up, but there is still plenty to be decided. Also to be decided, who is sending the scrubbiest pitcher to the mound to day?

Out of the woodwork and onto the slab: Reclamation day in America! With many teams playing for pride, the projects and fringe guys come out to shine on Sunday! Dontrelle Willils looks to pick up his first win of the year against the Indians. Great Canadian Dock Worker Scott Richmond takes on Dice-K and the Red Sox. The Sox are 2.5 games behind the Rays and could use a win streak to avoid a trip to California. The White Sox and Twins battle of attrition continues mercilessly with Jon Danks leading his Pale Hose against the resurgent Brandon Duckworth in KC. Frankie Liriano gets the hung over Andy Sonnanstine and the Rays.

Stop the Bleeding: The Brewers grab a Bandaid named McClung, hoping he can put the brakes on their skid in Cincinnati. Arroyo the Soulful will be his opposition. The Mets can speed up the Brewers death with a win in Atlanta. Mike "Berman nickname" Pelfrey looks for his 14th win. The Phillies would like to dash the remaining hopes of the little Marlins. Jamie Moyer against Chris Volstad is a tidy little match up. Derek Lowe takes on Matt Cain in what I would call a half-duel. Danny Haren will try to make up for the fact that he went cold at the worst possible time by getting hot when it is far too late to matter.

So Goodnight, Loyal Stadium Rats: Of course tonight marks the final game at Yankee Stadium. Much has been said to eulogize this place, and while I've never been, I know that a large amount of recent baseball history took place on that field. Rob is going to be walking the field today, an experience I doubt he'll soon forget. I hope old, pre-Giuliani New York shows up and gives that place a proper send off. Wild in the Streets!

Hope you enjoy the second-last Sunday, I know I will. I'm going to Babelfish some Japanese insults and attempt to reclaim the Rogers Centre for the Queen.

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Andy Sonnanstine? Sounds like my dentist.

Godjesus, I am hungover as all hell.

In honor of the last game in Yankee Stadium, New York City politicians are offering free tax writeoffs and distorted property evaluations to the first 100 wealthy people who arrive at the stadium.

The Iowa Cubs just beat the Cardinals. I love it when that happens.

Ah, the decades of championships and all-time great players will be honored toniJESUS CHRIST IT'S JUST A PIECE OF CONCRETE THAT IS BEING KNOCKED DOWN!

Whatever, just as long as no one touches my local Yankee Candle.

Tonight, we drink Coors Original. The Banquet Beer.

Wait, what is happening at Yankee Stadium? Why are they parading around? Were they awarded an honorary spot in the playoffs or something?


It's Billy Crystal's birthday. New York is stoked.

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