One Game Playoff: Your White Sox - Twins Semiglog

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Consider this post to serve as your landing point to discuss the one game playoff between the Chicago White Sox and the Minnesota Twins. I'll be on and off as the night progresses to share my awful witticisms, but I will not be true-glogging until the Brewers-Phillies tilt tomorrow afternoon. But hey, I made an amusing Photoshop to accompany this, so cut me some slack, Jack.

The game is on TBS and the live boxscore is at Yahoo. John Danks! Nick Blackburn! Playoff baseball is sorta happening in semiglog format!

7:43PM: Joe Mauer's lead in the batting race is 4 points. If he goes 0-for-5 tonight, Dustin Pedroia will earn the AL batting title and a severe increase in my ire. I love me some Joe Mauer.

7:53PM: Nice to hear Harold Reynolds being paid to talk about baseball again. Look out, Dick Stockton! He's trying to hug you!

7:58PM: Reynolds makes the case for Gardenhire to win the AL Manager of the Year award. Hal obviously didn't read CTC's latest Tavern Talking Points.

8:03PM: If we are forced to watch these Holiday Inn Express ads that are slowly eroding Philip Baker Hall's street cred throughout the entire playoff run, I am going to Polsky Punch myself in the face.

8:08PM: Major political news that means absolutely nothing to the outcome of this game: Gwen Ifill broke her ankle, y'all! But she's still gonna do her best to let Sarah Palin humiliate herself on Thursday night, so no worries.

8:13PM: On second thought, Governor Palin may say one or two intelligent things on Thursday night which will cause the entire mediasphere to laud her gumption. Hey, isn't it unfair that the location of this game was decided by coinflip? Shouldn't MLB decide it based on the season series betwixt the two teams (won by Minny)?

8:18PM: Sure, nobody's reading, but I'm getting some serious practice time in for the real playoffs, starting tomorrow at 3PM on www.walkoffwalk.com! John Danks is working very hard this inning. How's that Chicago bullpen, kids?

8:23PM: This is the part of the semiglog where I jinx John Danks, who has yet to allow a hit on any of his 50 pitches over three innings.

8:28PM: Really, Timothy Hutton? Really? You're still coasting on that Oscar for Ordinary People from 28 years ago? I hope your new TBS show THAT SHALL REMAIN UNNAMED fails miserably, despite how much I loved Beautiful Girls.

8:33PM: I also don't like the T-Mobile family plan commercial where the teen daughter wants to get with a mustachioed suitor and the dad wants to bang some lady at his kid's soccer game. Way to humiliate the American Family, major cellular phone company!

8:38PM: It's quite refreshing to semiglog a game that y'all are watching anyway. Having to talk about actual game details is such a drag. Still, huge check-swing strikeout of Thome by Nick Blackburn right there.

8:43PM: One hour in and we've got a scoreless game in the fifth inning. That's my kinda game. And despite the irritating run of commercials, I couldn't be happier with two-thirds of the announcing crew. I'm looking at you, Ron Darling.

8:48PM: I'm sorry, but how long has Ken Griffey had that Johnny-Damonesque noodle arm? Sheesh, the dude is just begging to be DH-ified at this point.

8:49PM: And of course on the very next play, Griff throws out Cuddyer trying to tag up at home plate. Kudos, sir.

8:57PM: Anyone out there want to write a playoff preview for the Angels? We got nothing.

9:05PM: Gotta be duly impressed with Mr. John Danks tonight. Who thought the kid could make this happen on just three days' rest? Six shutout innings against the third highest scoring team in the AL? They'll take it.

9:08PM: Hal Reynolds just mentioned Kenny Rogers allowing the walkoff walk for the Mets back in the 1999 playoffs without saying the words "walkoff walk". Thanks for nothing, Hal.

9:14PM: Joey Mauer is now 0-for-3 and down to .328 on the year. He's but two points ahead of Pedroia. Christ on a pogo stick, John Danks is DEALING.

9:19PM: Jim Thome's solo ding-dong puts the ChiSox up 1-0.

9:24PM: If you're not rooting for Ken Griffey to make it back to the playoffs for just the third time in his storied career, then you're just not rooting for Ken Griffey to make it back to the playoffs for just the third time in his storied career.

9:29PM: "The "blackout" gimmick in the stands is actually pretty cool looking."
Yes, if you are a Raiders fan. Oh, I just zinged Honeynut Ichiros! Zing!

9:34PM: Say what you will about Delmon Young making that catch to prevent the White Sox from scoring and keep the Twins in the game, but Delmon Young just made a catch to prevent the White Sox from scoring and kept the Twins in the game. DAMMIT DAD! JUST LET YOUR WHORE DAUGHTER CALL THE MUSTACHIOED BOY!

9:39PM: My laundry is done and needs to be folded. This is why I am merely semi-glogging.

9:46PM: Joe Nathan in the eighth? It's as if the Twins' season were on the line or something!

9:53PM: Bobby Jenks is in to attempt to close this fucker out for the White Sox. I put his chances of success at 85%.

9:58PM: Brian Anderson's web gem wins it for the White Sox. Good for them. Best of luck with the Rays. Thanks for joining me on this semiglog, Honeynut Ichiros and the gang.


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24 Comments

Right, she "tripped" and broke her ankle. Cindy McCain used to share her painkiller stash with Jeff Gillooly, that's all I'm sayin'.

Rob, I AM READING! HI!
I did learn from the post that TBS has the game.
So you did your good deed for the day.

I hope you have basic cable!

HD, bitches.
It's Comcastic!

Lolcomcast

if any you guys are looking for a good flip channel, Road House is on AMC

the teen daughter wants to get with a mustachioed suitor
Hitting a little too close to home?

I don't know what you're talking about. I never had a mustache.

huh. I thought every guy tried to gow a moustache at some point...and was subsequently ridiculed for it.

No Angels fans out there? I'd offer to do it, but mine would be wildly unfunny and offendingly inaccurate. Does Danny glover still manage in Anaheim?

East Coast Bias REPRESENT

How exactly did HR phrase it? A game-ending base on balls?

Have Farthammer write it. It would be funny and totally biased and probably not fit to print.

It would be biased for sure, but I can't vouch for funny-ness. Blah blah blah Vlad Guererro blah blah entire 2002 pitching staff on steroids blah blah rally monkey.

SHAMALAMA DING DONG

That HR was a fucking bomb.

The "blackout" gimmick in the stands is actually pretty cool looking.

Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
/shakes fist at Iracane

This is why I am merely semi-glogging

That and the fact that this glog has devloved into a conversation between me and you at this point. Which is every blogger's nightmare, I think.

According to the TBS crew, Nathan is the top US-born closer. Brad Lidge 2.0 would like a word with Ron Darling.

Come on, just finish off the Twinkies

Actually, I'm working on a stack of E.L. Fudge cookies.

Oh, the game. Right.

Bye bye twinkies

I wish anal warts on AJ Pierzynski.

Wow. I was wicked fucked up for AWHILE BUT IT WAS GOOD BASEBALL HUH?.

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