Pirates Provide Ample Schadenfreude to Cure Your Woes

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Fear not, Yankees fans, Indians fans, A's fans, Braves fans, Cardinals fans, and Twins fans: your team may have fallen well short of expectations in 2008, but the Pittsburgh Pirates will always be there to soften the blow. Thanks to a ten-run fourth inning by the Giants yesterday, the Pirates lost their 82nd game on the year. Misery might love company, but with their 16th consecutive losing season, the Pirates are now in a league shared only with the 1933-1948 Philadelphia Phillies.

That's a real shitty league, y'all, and some real shitty company.

Pat of the Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke blog reflects on the weak streak of reek:

How do you properly couch another losing season for the Pittsburgh Pirates? The last time the Pirates had a winning season, I was seven years old. Seven! I'm in my second year of graduate school now. Second grade was a looong time ago. Somewhere in the depths of my memories, I remember going to class the day after the Francisco Cabrera game and asking a friend who was a year younger than me if he saw that the Pirates lost again the night before. He had and seemed upset about it, so in all of my endlessly optimistic seven-year-old wisdom I told him that we'd get to the World Series next year. This was the only logical conclusion for me because to that point in my life, I'd really only known good, playoff caliber Pirate teams. I couldn't have possibly fathomed a world in which sixteen years down the road, I'd still be waiting for next year.

Oh god, don't make me cry for little seven-year-old Pittsburgh Pat. That poor fella has barely even had his first taste of a Pitts-burgher and he's already committed himself to sixteen years of disappointment. Hey fella, cheer up. Your team's got a bright future with a load of young talent and some forward-thinking folks in the front office. And your All Star center fielder is doing so we....oh, ouch.

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They should have players with actual peg legs.

Bring back the Pinstripe caps. And Spanky Lavalliere.

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