Tavern Talking Points #3: Heads Should Roll In AL Central

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Too dumb to come up with your own ideas and take sides in a bar argument? Let WoW's Tavern Talking Points do it for you.

Our boy 'Duk at BLS wrote a fantastically exasperated piece last night describing how all of us baseball fans feel about that miserable AL Central race. He made the prescient analogy that the teams about the teams being two fighters clutching and grabbing until one can deliver a haymaker in their series next week. I agree that this whole thing has been as exciting as a John Ruiz fight.

He makes a point of praising Guillen and Gardy as "good motivators" saying that's part of the reason they've taken advantage of lousy Cleveland and Detroit seasons. This is where I'd beg to differ and say that whichever one of these teams loses the division should fire their manager. This is the worst display of "getting the job done" since 5 minutes ago when I was too lazy to look up the last time a division race stunk this much. In situations this aesthetically atrocious, someone must be held accountable.

I predicted before the season that Ozzie would be canned by the All-Star break, and that turned out like most of predictions: laughably incorrect. But that was my error. Kenny Williams has made strong moves in the past two seasons to strengthen the club. They're certainly not the youngest team, but they have enough talent to have put this division away long ago.

Chances have come and gone for the Twins, and for once in my life I'm reluctant to blame everything on the GOP. Weeks before the now infamous road trip, we were wondering whether or not Minnesota would ever get over the hump. They choked repeatedly, spending one day in first. No one should feel good about capitalizing on poor seasons by the Tigers and Tribe. They should feel bad for having a big league club that so easily wilts under pressure. For Gardenhire, it's also a matter of mismanaging a bullpen.

So come on Kenny Williams and Bill Smith. Let's make this AL Central race a deathwatch. It's been depressing enough, and this will only put it over the top.

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In the seven months between TTP #2 and TTP #3, Camp Tiger Claw was busy sobering up and covering up that nasty shiner.

Needs more bold.

Are there subliminal messages in all the boldfaced type? Or are those supposed to be the "talking points"?

Anyway.. The only talking point needed is that all four Central teams are pretty good when healthy. The downside is that none of them are great.

If the AL Central race is a deathwatch, what would you call the NL East race?

I'd rather watch all of your parents bone than watch a John Ruiz fight. Those things are almost as boring as soccer.

If the NL East race is worse than the AL Central race, then is the NL West worse than the monkey who promulgated the AIDS epidemic?

Farthammer: If you've seen Edward Penishands you've already seen my parents bone.

Maybe they should retract the entire AL Central. Where is Bud Selig when you need him.

Still not over 2002

Edward Penishands was inspired by George Brett's career.

I like it when you boldface words because it makes them seem more important.


Also, there's a race in the AL Central? Really? Is anyone actually watching? Or caring?

(sorry bc twins fan...)

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