Alexei Ramirez may not have enough juice to beat Evan Longoria for the American League Rookie of the Year but the kid's fourth tetra tot of the season was juicy enough to keep the Chicago White Sox season alive. Detroit's Gary Glover came into the game in the fifth with the bases bloated and promptly coughed up the king dong to Ramirez, who celebrated by giving manager Ozzie Guillen what the kids are calling "high fives". Ramirez' fourth graham slam tied Albert Belle's eleven-year-old rookie record and helped his team tie a franchise record (12) for most quadro-pops in a season. Also, I just set a record for most euphemisms for 'grand slam' in a single paragraph.
So what now? The White Sox are going to host that one-game playoff with the Twins for the AL Central crown and the right to play the Rays in the ALDS. John Danks will pitch for Chicago while the Twins will send out Ozzie's favorite pitcher Nick Blackburn. As hosts, the Sox have the right to employ novelty ideas like 'blackouts':
"We will have 40,000 black rally towels, and hopefully, 40,000 fans using them in support of the team," said White Sox vice president and chief marketing officer Brooks Boyer of the unique support system. "Hopefully, it will be pretty darn intimidating, and the Twins can see how it's done Chicago style."
Oh, great. That concept worked out so well for the Georgia Bulldogs this past weekend. Ladies and gentlefolks, I present your 2008 AL Central Champion Minnesota Twins.