The Saturday Morning Post: Dancing on the Corpses Ashes

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pedro.jpgCome rejoice in last night's action. You can cool your calloused heels numbed by travel.

Brewers 5, Cubs 1: This one matters right? The Brewers ensured control of their own fate with a big win against the Cubs. Rickie Weeks hit a big time tater tot to support the inexplicable good pitching of Jeff Suppan and Seth McClung. McClung struck out 6 in 4 shut out innings. Credit to the Cubs for sending out their regular everyday lineup in meaningless game for them. The Astros got a walkoff koffin korner kick from Darin Erstad to beat the Braves while Troy Glaus's sac fly pushed the Cardinals ahead of the Reds. Albert Pujols padded his MVP stats with his 36th prodigious clout of the year.

Royals 8, Twins 1: Enjoy your time in the sun, Royals fans. The lukewarm (4 wins in a row, 8 of 10) Royals embraced their role as spoilers in the Division No One Wants. Billy Butler hit a tot as did big time slugger Mike Alives. The Twins maintained their half game edge thanks to Ryan Garko and his Indians. Garko's tetra tot keyed a six run inning from which the Sox could not recover. These teams combined for 6 tots; even par for the AL Central.

Phillies 8, Nationals 4: This hardly seems fair to the much maligned Mets. The Nats 100th loss of the season lowered the Phillies magic number to 1. Ryan Howard hit a home run and a double, knocking in 4. Dude has been off his ass down the stretch, posting an 1.302 OPS for the month of September. That's absurd ya'll. Much like the Mets, who put forth a tepid, uninspired effort when it "mattered". The Mets used 8 different pitchers, two that didn't record an out and two that only got one each. Tony LaRussa called Jerry Manuel after the game to praise his micromanagement skills. Hanley Ramirez (4 for 5) wore the crown of National League shortstops; last night and forever.

Yankees - Ambien, Red Sox - Lunesta: 27 runs, 127 minutes of rain delay, 5 homers, and Yankee runs in every inning but the 6th. Cody Ransom hit two home runs on a night that will best be remembered for...absolutely nothing. Not even Cody Ransom will ever think about this game again. The Jays and O's game was so meaningless, they stopped playing in the seventh inning and decided to go home. Everyone was okay with this.

Giants 6, Dodgers 5: Three blown saves? We're playing NL West ball now kids! Russ Martin thought he was the hero, but Jonathon Broxton promptly gave the lead away. As the team's only remaining fat guy, the urgency to attack the post-game spread was lacking. Some wackiness involving instant replay saw this game played under protest until the Giants realized nobody gave a shit.

There might be all manner of clinching today. Check back in and we'll see who will clinch and who will clench.

Image of a broken man via Getty Images and Yahoo

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Smokey Robinson looks like shit.

So do the members of At the Drive-In these days.

Get it? They all have Latin-American names.

Like Pedro Martinez does.

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