The Saturday Morning Post: From a Lacerated Sky

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god_listens_to_slayer.jpgHere's hoping this fine Saturday Morning finds you and yours safe and well. In honour of all the people displaced by this terrible storm, and in spite of the storm raining out our beloved baseball games, I'm putting in some overtime. That is right: short and mildly amusing recaps for all of last night's games! Fuck you Ike, proud Mary keep on burning.

Indians 12, Royals 5: Cy Young shoo-in Cliff Lee picked up 5th win of the year against the vaunted Royals. Lee cruised until the 9th; where he encountered some pot holes on the road to Statpad Town. Grady Sizemore ended his Oh-fer week with three hits, Jose Guillen hit 2 homers and next Royals savior-in-waiting Kila Ka'aihue picked up a base hit.

Red Sox 7, Blue Jays 0: Tim Wakefield's knuckler was dancing and his personal catcher was totting. Wakefield surrendered three hits and didn't let a runner reach third in 8 rainy innings. That should about do it Toronto, thanks for your time. More on the implications of this later.

Pirates 10, Cardinals 2: Never trust a grown-ass man with blond hair. Nate McClouth went crazy with a dinger, a triple, a double, and 5 RBI. Pat Maholm had a solid night, allowing 2 runs in eight innings but canceling that out with 2 hits and 2 RBI. Poor Andy LaRoche, who's three hits I celebrated last Sunday, hasn't got one since. Jeff Karstens doesn't like all this pressure.

Marlins 2, Nationals 1: How did the rainiest place without a roof manage to get a game in last night? A fine game it was. Jorge Cantu hit a noteworthy home run that put the Marlins ahead in a low-scoring pitcher's duel. Shairon Martis struck out 9 Fish in 5 innings but took the loss. He's the guy that sort of pitched a no-hitter in the World Baseball Classic. He's going to be alright, as is Scott Olsen. He goes to bed a winner tonight for the first time since July 10th.

Dodgers 7, Rockies 2: The Dodgers stayed hot and stayed on top of their division. Manny and Andre Either predictably picked up 4 hits while Matt Kemp and James Loney drove the important runs home. Either has added more than 80 points to his OPS in September with his Dodgers losing just once in that span. You hear that Weinstein? EITHER RUNS LA.

Diamondbacks 3, Reds 2: When the DBacks brought Adam Dunn in for offense, I don't think this is what they had in mind. A bases loaded walk followed by a wild pitch was enough "offense" for the Snakes to beat the Reds. Brandon Lyon's first two outs of the ninth were easy but the third was elusive. The two runners he left came around to score, but Chad Qualls struck out Jerry Hairston to end the game.

Rangers 7, A's 0: This ain't your kid sister's Teagarden. The Rangers are flush with powerful catchers with ridiculous names. Taylor Teagarden's 4th home run since being called up has given him a leg-up on Jarrod Saltalamacchia. "Salty" hasn't played since Taylor arrived, the only person more angry about it is the clubbie with the bloodied stitching fingers. Hank Blalock homered for the third straight game, his first since moving to first base. Hammering Hank is surprisingly only 27, hopefully he can stay healthy at the lukewarm corner. Matt Harrison pitched his first career shutout in this pasting of the A's.

Giants 5, Padres 2: Somebody break up the Giants! Winners of 6 outta 7, the Giants beat up on Poor Jake Peavy with offense from all over. Even Omar Vizquel added two knocks! He's hitting a cool .196, more than twice his weight so the other players don't hassle him too badly. Travis Ishikawa homered, continuing his second excellent September audition. Might he be a good offensive piece for the Giants future? Might he be part of a package to lure Ken Griffey Jr away from the White Sox in the winter? Only the voices in Brian Sabean's head know the truth.

Angels 5, Mariners 3: Miguel Batista has transformed from tragically misunderstood artiste to tragically miscast baseball player. The author of the great American religious vampire novel gave up a walkoff jack to Mike Napoli in the bottom of the ninth. Joe Saunders pitched 6 excellent innings that may not have earned him a win, but might save his job for the postseason. Francisco Rodriquez pitched a bullpen session in hopes of being credited with another save.

That is it for last night. Obviously Hurricane Ike gets the Gas Facing of a lifetime. There are about 40 games today, all with playoff implications. I'm feeling particularly frisky, so check in early and often. Our thoughts remain with everyone in Galveston today, take some time to call your Mom if you get a chance. She'd like to here from you. I'll just shout up the furnace vent.

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