The Saturday Morning Post: Reversal of Man

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nouturn.jpgLast night's games were so exciting, they make you want to put your hands in the air. Even if your arms don't work.

Marlins 14, Phillies 8: 22 runs, 6 tots, a 9 game winning streak, and one flip flop in the standings. The Marlins beat Brett Myers around for 10 runs to stay meaninglessly hot late in the year. The bait that lured big fat Miguel Cabrera away from Florida had his second consecutive four hit game. The Phillies dropped to second in the division following the Mets big comeback against the Braves. The Mets have a new bullpen philosophy: one batter per inning! 4 Met pitchers recorded 3 outs in the 7th inning before giving way to Brian Stokes. Handsome Julian Tavarez gave up 3 unearned runs. His reputation as the ugliest man in baseball is definitely earned.

White Sox 9, Royals 4: It hardly seems fair, but this White Sox game against the Royals counts for as much as the Twins game against the Rays. The Sox donged, donged and donged again as they're want to do to. The Royals were just happy to be there. Carlos Pena's ground rule double three run homer in the fourth was baseball's first instant replay-reversed call. If the Twins don't get something going, the Big Series in Minnesota won't mean much of anything. The Indians and Tigers squared off before the Indians walked off.

Reds 11, Brewers 2: Dale Sveum had better go back to the drawing board. Last night's advice: groove pitches to young sluggers in a tiny ballpark seemed to backfire. The Reds knocked 7 tots in handing the Brewers another demoralizing loss. Those poor dears from Houston won again. Courage under fire or some shit.

USC 15, Texas 13: Quarterback Jon Garland hurried throws, misread blitzes and dropped the snap, hurting his team until special teams picked him up. Matthew McConaughey applauded the effort of his Rangers. If this is the kind of game that excites you, we can never be friends. Don't worry if you owe any Mariners money; they're incapable of hitting anything or anybody up right now.

The Gas Face is reserved for Kevin Youkillis and the rest of the AL East. You ruined it for everyone Kevin. The NL West stayed the same so I'll spare us all the pain.

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Dale Sveum's game advice is strikingly similar to my ex girlfriend's life philosophy. Just change a couple words here and there.

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