What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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stretcher.JPGHslllsssssssssssss... ouch. Oh man. Shit. Hslllsssssssssssss... Ow. Man. Dammit. Hslllsssssssssssss... Hslllsssssssssssss. Shit. Get away. Get away. Ouch. Hslllsssssssssssss. Stubbed my toe. Hslllsssssssssssss.

  • Jered Weaver, Angels: Jered Weaver is making it on the Freak Injury of the Year ballot after cutting his hand open on the bench. "I went to push to get up and gripped where the staples in the upholstery come together, and it just got me." Ouch. Reminds me of that one time I got stung on the ass by a bee because I sat on it.

  • Jeremy Guthrie, Orioles: Guthrie has been scratched from his next start due to arm fatigue. Too much Wii/Guitar Hero/masturbation for him! Now with the Tired Arm Joke Generator, you too can write a sports blog!

  • Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox: Youkilis has been battling back spasms all week and a is a game time decision tonight in Texas. The downtime has allowed Tim Naehring to settle comfortably into his new apartment in Youk's goatee.

  • Carlos Zambrano, Rich Harden, Cubs: Shh. Harden's troubles are a secret. The Cubs were hoping no one would notice his start being pushed back. Zambrano had an MRI which revealed some inflammation and he promptly received a dose of cortisone. AND SUNSHINE.

  • Carlos Quentin, Ken Griffey, White Sox: Quentin has forearm stiffness and Griff has back stiffness. Now with the Erection Joke Generator, you too can write a sports blog!

  • Jesus Flores, Nats: The Washington cather got messed up good by Chutley. Chase Utley: environmentalist and cannonballing asshole.

Watch on Monday for a very very special edition of Creampuff from a guest author who writes much better than I do!

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6 Comments

"Hslllsssssssssssss"

Is that Greek for "ouch"?

add CTC to the list

-knuckle sandwich

I would say you forgot Yunel Escobar, but then again, who hasn't?

Jesus Flores?
Can't he just heal himself?

"Rich Harden" must be a typo.

There is UPHOLSTERY on those benches? What happened to growing hemorrhoids on those good ole' wooden benches, like they did back in the great days of baseball, dammit?!

Stone cold hard wood was good enough for Lou Gehrig's ass, so it's good enough for yours!

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