What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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stretcher.JPGWhat is it that I like so much about the Fall? Well, I live in New England, and for it's burtal Winters and muddy crappy Springs, the area is rewarded with an Autumn that is the most beautiful time to be anywhere. No area matches up to a season so well. Also, it's the arrival of baseball's postseason. And since I'm not an Orioles fan, that gets me excited! All of these things add up to making fall my favorite season hands down. If any of the following bitchsticks need me to push them around in their iron lungs to see the foliage, I'd be obliged.

  • Paul Konerko, White Sox: Paulie sprained his MCL and is day to day and stuff like that. Psst. Paul. If you come back sooner than expected.... mail me your pills.

  • Brandon Phillips, Reds: Brandon Phillips had his own Bill Brasky moment No he didn't eat a homeless person on a dare, but he did break his index finger while driving in the winning run against the Brewers. The bit of heroics landed has led the Reds to shut down his season. But, in a year where highlights were few for this club, I'm sure it was worth it. TO BILL BRASKY!

  • Jim Johnson, Orioles: Johnson has what is being referred to as an "impingement" in his right shoulder. To me this sounds like a legal term so perhaps they should subpoena the thing out of his shoulder then file a restraining order. In any case, he's being shut down.

  • Gabe Kapler, Brewers: Mr. Kotter tore an undisclosed muscle in his right shoulder. I'm guessing it was due to a court ordered impingement. His season is over. The big question on everyone's mind is will he retire again and go back to mana.....zzzzzzzz

  • Fred Lewis, Giants: Grandpa Munster is missing the rest of the season because he's having a bunion removed from his foot. Wow that's nasty. But maybe you could use this as an opportunity to broach the subject with your wife so she'll do the same.

  • Troy Glaus: Um... Tootie from the Facts of Life? Anyway, Glaus has tendinitis in his shoulder making this the week of the shoulder. You know what that means! The 10th caller at 1-800-WALK-OFF wins a cider braised pork shoulder!

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Why do they sometimes call pork shoulder "Boston butt"? Do people in Boston have butts on their shoulders?

No, just heads in their asses.

Guys? I'm pretty sure that's a Boston burn right there by gravy.

Also, remember when Tootie from Facts Of Life went through that hot phase in the mid-90s? She was in the Boys II Men video and Living Single? But then the rest of her body caught up to her huge boobs and it was all bad. The point is, I'd nail Miss Garrett.

What the hell has Gabe Kapler been up to since Welcome Back, Kotter?

@Chief -gambling like a madman.


@Iracane - I cooked a Boston Butt on my Weber a couple weeks ago.
Took 9 hours and it was one of the single greatest culinary accomplishments of my life.

All apologies for the Boston comment. Mr. Iracane set it up so I thought I'd knock it down.

Increase the Peace!

You're safe, gravy. Clever insults of any kind are always welcome.

Yeah that was a softball, but j.gravy didn't really hit it out of the park. He mostly checked his swing and grounded it past the chick playing second base for a single.

That chick has no range.

But she's still a better fielder than Jeter.



i feel bad for amybody who never saw gabekapler.com when it actually existed.


i feel bad for amybody who never saw gabekapler.com when it actually existed.

woah hey now I only wanted to buy one round.

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