Who Wants to Win the AL Central?

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With a combined record of 6 and 10 over the last week and a day, the Minnesota Twins and Chicago White Sox have been coasting towards the finish line on empty. (Stay out of Atlanta!) Heck, I'd be almost inclined to grant the division title to the Indians at this point, what with their recent winning streak and in gratitude for keeping the Yankees playoff hopes alive for one more day.

The two teams start a vital three-game series tonight in the Baggiedome with the ChiSox up 2.5 games; win all three and Chicago takes the division title despite having won just one game out of six in Minneapolis in 2008 so far.

Tonight, Ozzie Guillen is sending sadsack Javy Vazquez out to pitch against Scott Baker. Ozzie had some kind words for Javy as inspiration:

"What you see is what you get," Guillen said. "Javy is going to be Javy. I just want him to be aggressive, throw the ball over the plate and knock somebody on their ass. That's a big three games for us."

"You have to be mean. Go out there and show them we show up to play, show up to kick your guys' asses. And believe me, that will take care of itself."

Translation: If this dude doesn't hit Justin Morneau in the head with a fastball I'm going to pull him after three innings and send in the corpse of Hoyt Wilhelm. The matchups for the rest of the series:

    Wednesday: Mark Buehrle vs Nick Blackburn
    Thursday: Gavin Floyd vs Kevin Slowey

None of these games are on national television because ESPN would rather show us the Cubs ride out their season over the hapless Mets on Wednesday night. Thanks for nothing!

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I really am pumped for the Tribe game tonight. I want Cliff to get 23, I want whatever small measure of revenge against Boston for smoking us in last years playoffs, and I fucking hate Ozzie Guillen.

Is this the first Indians series against the Red Sox since April? Who are the ad wizards who made that schedule up?

I got a flyer this morning as I walked into my office for auditions for WWTBAMillionaire. If I had a WoW shrimp shirt with me, I'd go.

UTFLW: Don't bother. I've auditioned three times, passed the test, and never been asked to be a contestant. They're looking for "aw shucks, it's great to be here in the big old city" midwest types, not New Yorkers. Or maybe they just realize what a dick I am.

They just don't like the way you grind up against Meredith Vieira's tush.

Actually Al Roker was guest hosting last time. I guess "Want a twinkie, fat boy?" was the wrong thing to yell at him.

It's okay, I've got a Will Leitch costume at home, I'm sure to win.

Wait, what?

I am having my Bachelor party on Saturday down at the Metrodome so if the Twins sweep I might actually have to pay attention to the game. That way I may be a little more sober when we visit the many high quality stip clubs that are down town Minneapolis. If they are out of it by then that means I will be very, very drunk. That's bad news for the strippers.

Congratulations on getting married, BC.

Yeah when we started planning it last year and she said she wanted it in October I figured it was going to be alright because it was supposed to be a rebuilding year. Oops. Our Grooms dinner and wedding are during the first two games of the ALCS and I will be gone on my honeymoon for the rest of it. I wonder if they will have it on in Mexico? I will be back for the start of the WS though.

Congrats bc. And I think they watch baseball in Mexico.

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