October 2008 Archives

Walkoff Walk commenter and gadabout Honeynut Ichiros is on the scene in Philadelphia today for the big Phillies victory parade and graciously offered to liveglog it for us. Of course, his shitty Blackberry spewed out every single update in one fell swoop to my email box, so it's less of a liveglog and more of a data dump. Enjoy!

12:26: Through much squeezing and pushing, I have now worked my way to the front of the crowd. The air is thick with joy and PBR. Teens are passing brown-bagged spirits around like homeless at a bonfire. And it's unsasonably warm, like the snow that fell in Princeton on Tuesday never happened.
1232: The twenty year olds behind me are seeing who can pound their beers the fastest. The current chant is "loser blows the winner." No girls are involved.
1240: Woooo! The parade is coming! Screeeeeeaaaaaaaam!
1245: the first cars came by to raucous applause. Just some tow trucks. Hope nobodys parked in a loading zone.
1246: Anything that moves gets a yell from the crowd. A Snack truck for the cops passed by, handing out sodas for the boys in blue, and its as if Hamels himself is driving.
1250: 50 cops on bikes just rolled by. Parking enforcement?
1251: A ghetto bird flys overheaf. Today WAS a good day.
1256: Woooo. First bus is passing us. Who's on it?. Oh, some old guys who work for WYSP. That makes sense.
1257: A passing reporter just got a show your tits chant. Didn't work. I think she was tempted, though.
1259 ITS Pat the Bat! On an old horse-drawn fire truck! ANd he brought his bulldog. Oooooh and awwwww.
101- a float with a bunch of Phillies ballgirls comes by. More show your tits. Nope, these gals are on the clock.
102 mayor michael nutter and the trophy come past. Some short girl just envied my stature (I'm 6'4"). Practice practice practice.
102: Greg Dobbs and Jaime Moyer! The stars are out tonight!
103 - Chase Utley and Ryan Howard are on the same float! Tastycakes and Subway, envision the synergy!
105- Holy shit! Jayson Werth was drinking an original Coors. Fuckin a. Almost makes up for the skidmark on your chinny chin chin.
107: J Roll is a bit subdued, dude. I expect more out of the sparkplug.
108 aaaaaand that's all she wrote. Ten minutes of bliss, I suppose. How rad. I never saw Cole Hamels or Victorino, tho. There were only 3 floats with players on them. He must have been on the other side. All I got was crummy old Geoff Jenkins.
125 working my way thru the crowd, walking against traffic on Broad St. Just got my 10th whiff of weed. If this city is gonna burn, it gonna smell sticky sweet.

Thanks, Honeynut! (picture stolen from Philly.com)

And also from Rob and me. Trick or Treat, you bastards.



We're taking the rest of the day off as our postseason vacation. Weekend WoW with that Canadian fellow is on hiatus until the Spring. Don't worry, Lloyd will still be here each week dropping some knowledge. So check back on Monday. We'll be back with WoW 1.3: The Offseason. Whee!

UPDATE: The twerps disabled embedding. Click here.

Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

• A.J. Burnett Hates the Yankees: Do you blame him? He's exactly the kind of signing fans in the Bronx would love...for about 20 seconds. A pitcher in the decline signing for a huge wad of cash? Thanks, but we've already had our fill of Kevin Brown, Jaret Wright, Carl Pavano, Roger Clemens II, David Wells, and Randy Johnson.
  
  
• Manny, Many Other Folks Filed Free Agency: Yesterday was the first chance for free agents to file, and their prior teams have a two-week window to negotiate with them before they're sent out into the wild. The Dodgers will most likely lose Derek Lowe and Manny Ramirez, but they'll need to keep Joe Beimel or Troy will go apeshit.
  
  
• Marlins, Royals Consummate First Trade, No One Notices: Well, almost no one. Florida first-bagger Mike Jacobs will knock Billy Butler to DH in Kansas City, while Marlins pick up someone who allegedly has pitched in the majors for a few years. News to me!
  
  
• Nationals Cut Closer Chad Cordero: Another former Expo leaves the Washington roster. If memory serves me right, Nick Johnson is the only player left on the team who played for Montreal back in 2004. Cordero had labrum surgery this past year but is one of the most accomplished closers in franchise history. Translation: he'll be a failed Met reliever next year.
  
  
• Should Jake Peavy Stay Or Should He Go?: Sorry, Braves fans. Seems like the Padres want too much in return for the stud pitcher, and the stud pitcher is being too wishy-washy about which teams he wants to play for. If I were Jake, I wouldn't want to leave San Diego either. The fish tacos are supreme.

Players of note who were cut by their teams: Ken Griffey Jr., Toby Hall, and Edgar Renteria. Get 'em while they're hot!

Hey kids, here comes the sun.

• WHAT will your favorite team do to improve for next year? Mine needs a catcher.


• WILL the Phillies repeat next year? I guess any champion has a chance, except for the Marlins.


• DO you wanna meet me at Rockefeller Center so we can watch Midwestern tourists bust ass on that skating rink?


• MITTENS or gloves?


• ARE you already pumped for the World Baseball Classic? I'm not!


• WHO caters the Winter GM Meetings?


• WHAT THE CRAP ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT UNTIL SPRING TRAINING?

Don't worry about that last one. We'll have brand new original stuff every day, all winter. It'll still be a lot of baseball and a little bit of the human condition. We started this thing in February so we have some experience with writing when there are no games. How do you think we discovered that In-N-Out bullshit?

So stop by tomorrow. Same WoW time, same WoW channel. See ya later, '08 season!

Sometimes people write better than us. Each Tuesday and Thursday WoW gives you our favorite baseball links we've come across.

• D-mac's animated GIF proves that Shane Victorino is a flying squirrel. Philadelphia Will Do.
  
  
• D-mac also has video of the bash on Broad Street last night. Philadelphia Will Do.
  
  
• Matthew Cerrone extends a hearty congrats to the Phillies organization and then throws the fanbase under the bus. Metsblog sponsored by GEICO.
  
  
• David Pinto shares his thoughts about why the Phillies won. Baseball Musings.
  
  
• One more D-Mac link, I swear this is the last one. Charlie Manuel wears a jaunty hat. Philadelphia Will Do
  
  
• Our other Philly pal Matt P. shares another photo montage. The 700 Level.
  
  
• Rinku and Dinesh are celebrating too. Not the Phillies win, mind you. It's Diwali! The Million Dollar Arm Blog.
  
  
• Phillies fans and haters alike can celebrate with stuff dipped in BACONNAISE. Serious Eats.

Don't fret, the Linkpunch isn't going anywhere this offseason. If you have something you'd like us to punch up, just send us an email at tips@walkoffwalk.com and we'll use 'em.

Remember that insane 10+ minute brawl in a minor league game back in July? It was Peoria vs. Dayton and we had the video right here. There was a laundry list of injuries from the game, none crazier than the fan that was sent to the hospital with a concussion after Peoria pitcher Julio Castillo hit him in the melon with a fastball.

It's easy to explain. You see Castillo was trying to hit another player in the face with the ball and just missed! And if having control problems is wrong... well yes, in this case it's very wrong. It's two counts of felony assault.

A minor-league pitcher accused of throwing a ball that hit a fan in the forehead was indicted yesterday on two counts of felonious assault.

The Chiefs are an affiliate of the Chicago Cubs, and Castillo remains in the Cubs' organization.

A Montgomery County grand jury indicted Castillo on one count of felonious assault with a deadly weapon and one count of felonious assault causing serious physical harm.

Castillo was attempting to hit a Dayton player in the dugout, but instead struck the fan in the head, according to the Montgomery County prosecutor's office.

Hear that people? A baseball is A DEADLY WEAPON. If you'll excuse me I'm going to go use one to try and rob a liquor store. After that I'm going to recruit an phalanx of ball throwers to fight back against Graeme Lloyd's Bat Wielding Dark Army.

WoW BFF Dmac brings us this compelling video of some gentle souls in Philly flipping what appears to be an '01 Civic (?) after last night's clincher.

Here's a fun Liakos story. In 2004, I was living in Tallahassee but came back to Boston for the World Series. I didn't go to any games, I just wanted to be in town. I watched the clinhcer at the Cask & Flagon (before it sucked) and it was crazy. I decided to take a cab back to Allston, which was a terrible move. I had to walk the opposite direction to Mass Ave, because Kenmore square was straight up closed. I got into a cab that was not moving because the streets were filled with people. Approximately 45 seconds after getting into the backseat the car began to rock, I braced myself and we flipped over. Thankfully my window was down. I crawled out, swung at some people and took off running down the street. I thought the car was going to explode because I had spent most of that summer playing Grand Theft Auto. Good times.

News out of Milwaukee says the Brewers will announce Ken Macha as their new manager, possibly today. Make that paper stack, Kenny!

Macha had four decent years in Oakland, but is easily the least exciting hire out of the final four candidates for this job. He is the human equivalent of beige. But hey, he kind of looks like Joe Maddon, and Joe had a good year. So that's something.

Dodgers second baseman Jeff Kent probably doesn't care much for politics. He's usually too busy talking trash about Vin Scully or tooling around on his hog to get involved in the political process, and who can blame him? He's a professional baseball player, not a consarned community activist!

But with the threat of same-sex marriage on the horizon in California, Kent is putting his money where his foul mouth is, donating $15,000 to support Proposition 8, which would impose a state constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between a man and a woman. Because if we let the gays get married, what's next, letting a man marry a dog? Amirite? Amirite?

Seriously, folks, we don't hide our political affiliations here at Walkoff Walk. If you've read us for even just one month, you know where CTC and I stand on most issues. We try to not preach to our readers about politics, or music taste, or cinema, or television or anything. We're a baseball blog. Yes, we may suggest certain things with our words, pictures, and videos, but we don't want to offend our readership by telling you what to do...until now.

We are firmly against Proposition 8 and, were we Californians, we would vote no on this heinous matter. Were we Californians, we'd also probably share a bungalow in Santa Rosa and spend our weekends at the wineries and restaurants in Napa and Sonoma, but that's a matter for a different day. We disagree with Mr. Kent's stand and wish he had spent that $15,000 on something more worthwhile, like a 17-day European cruise with our own Todd Jones. Folks, regardless of if you agree with us, get out there and vote on Tuesday.

(We owe some Frescas to BBTF Newsblog)

If you haven't been perusing the YouTubes for videos of Philadelphia "people" celebrating their win last night, you're missing out. I'll be doing my best to pass the savings on to you today.

Get a load of this dope. The video title describes him as a Rays fan, but he's shirtless so you really can't tell. He gets hit with a bottle in the spot where it does least amount of damage. Enjoy!

Here's footage of legendary Phillies broadcaster Harry Kalas calling the final out of the World Series last night, as his partner Chris Wheeler fights off invisible vampire bats.

(Thanks, D-mac)

Each morning during the playoffs, we'll attempt to answer some questions about the playoff games that absolutely nobody asked. This could be helpful and fun or this could be painful and uninformative. Either way, it's another listicle in the listicle-ful sportsblogosphere.

• What was with all that wacky bunting last night? Jimmy Rollins made no bones about his sixth inning bunt that moved Jayson Werth to third. In his postgame interview, he basically said there was no way he would have swung away in that situation. Sure, the Phils scored the run, but what if Rollins had gotten an actual base hit? Isn't the chance of a big inning that much more important in the sixth, as opposed to the eighth? I'm not going to second guess Joe Maddon on the J.P. Howell bunt, because that's just cruel.
  
  
• Did the voters get it right with the MVP award? Sure. Cole Hamels earned that thing for two stunningly great appearances in the World Series, but also earned some votes because of his entire playoff run. Kid nearly won two games, and no single position player added as much value as Hamels over the course of the World Series. Hopefully, he can take this sucker to the bank.
  
  
• How huge was the Utley play? Utley made a web gem and Carlos Ruiz made a great tag, but that was really a baserunning gaffe by Jason Bartlett. I'm not even sure if Bartlett saw Utley pump-fake to first base, but it was a mistake for him to head home on that play.
  
  
• What's next for the Phillies? Well, there's a parade on the horizon, but most importantly, there's a pinata that needs to be busted wide open.
  
  
• What will become of Walkoff Walk in the offseason? It may be a long while before meaningful baseball games are played again, but baseball coverage at Walkoff Walk will not take a backseat for a second. We'll continue to write original material for you, cover free agent signings and trades, and maybe even throw some recipes your way. Morning Answers is done for now but tune in tomorrow for your first Hot Stove Update.

Here's what happened in Philadelphia while you were snuggled in bed with your pajama pants and teddy bear:

• A Phillies fan robbed a bank in a quest to get some cold hard cash to pay for Phillies playoff gear at a Modells store. No telling whether he posed with a Red Sox hat and a Youuuuuuk sign before he left.
  
  
• A drunk driver slammed into a police cruiser in Center City, sending two police officers to the hospital with neck and back ouchies. What's up, Officer Creampuffs?
  
  
• The fire department extinguished a dumpster fire outside a Starbucks. Mistakenly, of course, because the Phillies fans were just roasting some Italian beans for the morning commute.
  
  
• According to Phillyburbs.com, "Windows were smashed at a bank and luggage store in the downtown shopping district. At least two cars were overturned, the windows of a TV van were smashed, dozens of huge streetside planters were flipped over and some bus shelters were damaged or destroyed," but police still have no total number of arrests made. Here's a hint: you'll need three digits.
  
  
• And if you parked your car on Broad Street last night, you got what you deserved:
  
  

I'll call my sister later this morning to see how the Art Museum neighborhood held up last night.

Picture stolen from my boss, A.J. Daulerio of Deadspin

So that's how you live like this, Phillies fans. Thanks, Doug Pensinger of Getty Images.

Welcome back, folks! It's the bottom of the sixth, Grant Balfour is on the mound, Charlie Manuel is deciding on a pinch hitter, and Overmanagin' Joe Maddon has scripted his plans for the remainder of the game as if there were some Euripidean tragedy (hint: it's not Euripidean, it's got more Sophoclean irony than anything).

Consider yourself lucky if you're reading this glog and watching the game because most folks just don't care. That's their problem, though, because this World Series has been fun and competitive, despite the weather delays and low ratings. Low ratings? Who cares! Not my money!

If you missed Monday night's action and need to catch up, take a peek at this epic liveglog with some of the best comments we've ever received. Enough chit-chat! Let's get to it, gloggers!

Hey kids, time's tide will smother you

• WHO will be the first hitter in the bottom of the sixth? I'm guessing Matt Stairs, but it could just as well be Greg Dobbs.
  
  
• WHICH bullpen will be more dominant tonight? The Rays have lefties David Price, Trever Miller, and J.P. Howell at the ready to neutralize Chase Utley and Ryan Howard. The Phillies will probably use Ryan Madson and Brad Lidge for nine outs.
  
  
• HOW MANY players will wear those silly hats with the earflaps tonight? Comfort is one thing, but you look ridiculous, Jimmy Rollins.
  
  
• ARE the Rays cursed because Rocco Baldelli is on the cover of S.I.? Actually, there's Carlos Ruiz, so maybe the whole darn World Series is cursed. Read Tom Verducci's piece.
  
  
• IS your liveglog blazer wrinkled? Feel free to wear your casual liveglog polo shirt tonight.

Be here at 8:30PM EDT sharp. Be ready for history, one way or another.

Gaslamp Ball digs up a baseball card of a certain participant in tonight's World Series Game Five. I've taken the liberty of cropping the picture and posting it to your left. Who is it?

No, it's not Matthew Modine. Name him, then head over to Gaslamp Ball to see if your guess is correct.

Boston Common is a beautiful place, but it can also be dangerous. You don't really wanna be walking through there alone at night. There are some shady characters waiting to prey on your country bumpkin ass. Also, on the edge of the Common is the Ritz Carlton, a place where you may allegedly get punched in the face by Brett Myers.

In today's USA Today, reporter Bob Nightengale had the cojones to ask Myers about the incident where his wife accused him of beating her up (something the Philly Inquirer is too chicken to do) and Myers was well, less than contrite.

"I know there are people out there that think I'm a jerk. There are people out there who think I'm a wife-beater. That will never change," says Myers, alluding to a 2006 incident in which he was arrested and charged in Boston with assaulting his wife, Kim.

"But you know what, I really don't care what people think about me. ... If people don't like me, they can deal with it. This is who I am."

Wait, what? Did he just admit that he's a wifebeater, so deal with it? I guess that's one way of handling things. He must have then threatened to punch Nightengale because the writer gives us some fluff about Myers "rough upbringing." And then Myers cries. What is with all the crying? Every single day we're writing about someone crying.

The more interesting bit to me is that Myers was so scarred by Boston fans when pitching the day after the incident, that he says he wouldn't have pitched at Fenway if the Sox had met the Phils in the Series. That is some quality heckling!

But he couldn't escape the fear of the Phillies' possible World Series opponent. "I did not want to play Boston," says Myers, 28. "If Boston had beat Tampa, I would have gone to (manager) Charlie (Manuel) and told him, 'I don't want to pitch in Boston.'

"I don't ever want to pitch in Boston again."

What we're dealing with here is a man a couple bricks short of a wall. Should we contiune to ridicule him? I don't really know. Someone that scarred probably has some issues to work out before I get after him too much. Or maybe I'm just saying that because the Inquirer story followed him to a gun range.

I hope you haven't taken off your liveglog blazer since Monday night, because World Series Game Five will continue tonight at 8:37PM. Join us as soon as Senator Obama finishes up his variety half-hour for some more good ol' fashioned livegloggery.

The season can be a grind. After an entire life spent as a baseball fan, I always understood that, but never more so than this year. Trying to dig up multiple stories every day, stalking a pair of Indian men, and creating a beloved national icon really took its toll.

A fine portrait of what the season can do to a man comes in today's LA Times. Remember back in the halcyon days of February when we talked about the pure ray of sunshine that was Torii Hunter? Well, not so much anymore. It's been a few weeks and Hunter still isn't over the Angels playoff loss. Pardon my prolific use of the blockquote here, but there is sooo much good stuff. It's really a must read.

"Truth is, for me as a player, I probably would have let him hit."

The voice was Torii Hunter's and it was far less juiced than usual as he walked through the nightmare moments that spelled the end for this year's Angels team.

"I don't even think they were trying to pitch to [Aybar]," Hunter said, so plaintively I imagined him staring hard at the floor and shaking his head in disbelief. "It was just five terrible minutes . . . the worst five minutes of my life."

"I am depressed, I'm ticked, I'm upset, my stomach hurts, yeah, all of that," Hunter noted, without much prompting.

He said he has watched the remaining playoff and World Series games from a suede sofa in his Dallas-area home. (For the record, he's rooting for Tampa Bay but will not be too distressed if Philly wins because Jimmy Rollins is a friend.) Often, he's found himself screaming at the TV in pure frustration. "It plays out in the back of your head all the time: 'Why am I not in the World Series? Why?' The season we had, we should have been there. But the way we played in the first round, we didn't deserve it."

I hear it's a bitch to get tears out of suede. Later in the article Hunter goes on to refute the notion that the squeeze play was a hallmark of this Angels team saying it's something you do "very rarely" and even more rarely in the postseason. He goes out of his way to say he's not criticizing Scioscia or Aybar, which means he is definitely criticizing Scioscia and Aybar.

Hunter had a rough series personally. He made a couple errors that I can think of and almost blew out his knee arguing a call at first base. Mix that with high expectations and you can see why he'd be upset. It would happen to almost any player. But for him to still be taking it this hard and to be so candid about it makes me like him even more. You're still my special happy guy, Torii!

Sorry, WoWies. Looks like there won't be any minor league teams named after cave shrimp this year. If you recall, the folks in charge of bringing professional baseball to Bowling Green, Kentuckah put a few possible mascot names up for a vote on the ol' Innernet.

Well, the good people of Bowling Green have spoken, and the new name of the Tampa Bay Rays low-A affiliate is the Hot Rods. I blame massive voter fraud and suppression. Also, I blame any Walkoff Walk reader who didn't vote at least eleventy skillion times.

Hey, let's get a quote from the big boss:

"This is an historic day for Bowling Green professional baseball, as we come together to celebrate the beginning of the Bowling Green Hot Rods," said Hot Rods General Manager/CEO Brad Taylor. "We are very excited to develop the Hot Rods brand, which connects the spirit and heritage of this region's automotive industry with a creative name and logo associated with the fun of minor league baseball.

I want you dead, Brad Taylor. Your corporate-speak sickens me.

Crusty old maverick and reformer John McCain said something very maverick-y. I know! What are the chances? While campaigning in Hershey, PA on his last gasp "The Only True America Tour" across the Keystone State, he sassed his opponent Barack Obama with the line, "No one will delay the World Series with an infomercial when I'm president!"

Obama, of course, has purchased thirty minutes of tee-vee time tonight at 8PM, delaying the 'restart' of World Series Game Five on FOX. That's the kind of thing presidential candidates can do when they raise $150 million in a single month: delay the start of a baseball game by fifteen measly minutes. Meanwhile, the McCain campaign has announced plans to for Cindy McCain to appear on the Quacker Factory with Jeanne Bice on QVC tomorrow night at 2:30AM.

But really, Senator McCain, what part of the U.S. Constitution allows the executive branch of the government to tell the broadcast networks or the assorted major sports leagues what time they need to start their games? And after all, you're just a hypocrite anyway:

In fact, McCain's own convention speech this summer forced a change in the start time of the NFL's season opener, which started an hour and a half earlier to accommodate McCain's speech.

If anything, that speaks to the flexibility of the NFL in comparison to baseball. It also speaks to the desperation of a Presidential candidate who is pandering to fans who are frustrated by 48-hour-long weather delays and not a fifteen-minute Obama delay.

In September 1964, Kansas City teenager Drew Dimmel brought his Super 8 camera to a Beatles concert. He persuaded a local reporter to sneak the camera up to the stage and capture a couple minutes of silent footage. Forty-four years later, Dimmel found the recording stowed away in a desk drawer at his parents' house. He's now putting it up for auction: the film is expected to land $10,000 at a British auction house.

So what does this have to do with baseball? The concert was hosted by Charlie Finley at the home park of the Kansas City A's.

The gig at the Municipal Stadium in Kansas was controversial because of the unpopularity of Charles Finley, owner of the Kansas City Athletics Baseball Team.

The local press urged a boycott of the concert in protest against Finley and as a result the stadium was almost half empty.

The Beatles' manager Brian Epstein had managed to negotiate a fee of $150,000 for the gig, which helped leave Finley out of pocket.

Dear Kansas City residents in 1964 who actually changed their minds about attending a 30-minute Beatles concert because they listened to the local press: you're all dummies. I hate you.

(We owe 17 cases of Coke Zero to BBTF Newsblog)

Hey kids, a barstool should have a back.

• WHY is House so gruff? No seriously, tell me, I've never seen the show.


• DO you agree with me that the rest of the Series should just be canceled and the Red Sox should remain champions for one more year?

See you all back here tomorrow in World Series Purgatory. Same WoW time, same WoW channel.

Thanks to If Charlie Parker Were A Gunslinger... for the pic.

Sometimes people write better than us. Each Tuesday and Thursday WoW gives you our favorite baseball links we've come across.

• Rinku and Dinesh film some drills for the upcoming Tom Emanski defensive drills DVD. "Are we pitchers or Bollywood stars?" asks Dinesh. "Neither," replies Rob. The Million Dollar Arm Blog.
  
  
• With the Hot Stove season just around the corner, Marc Hulet grades the off-season trades from last winter. Biggest losers? The Mariners. Baseball Analysts.
  
  
• Matt P wonders which Phillies player threw Bud Selig under the bus. Not literally, that would have been both messy and delightful. The 700 Level.
  
  
• Tom Krasovic wonders if Jake Peavy can hold out for some Sabathia-type money before agreeing to be traded from the Padres. Who would ever want to leave San Diego anyway? San Diego Union Tribune.
  
  
• Lloyd passes up his chance to talk to Ernie Whitt at his local brunch place. That reminds me of the time I almost talked to Rance Mulliniks at a bodega until I realized it was actually just an ATM. Ghostrunner on First.
  
  
• Juicy butts. Suicide Food.

The picture at left is one of Farthammer's World Famous Cakies®. The hand holding it belongs to commenter Honeynut Ichiros, who baked a batch for last night's World Series game.

Yes, a reader in Philly baked a recipe given to him in the comments by a reader from Oakland. And apparently they were really good. To commemorate the occasion, we are hereby declaring The Cakie the "Official Dessert Treat of Walkoff Walk." This is all to smooth the transition to us becoming a food blog in the offseason since so many people have begged us to stop writing about baseball.

Below you will find Farthammer's recipe, cut and pasted verbatim from our comments section. Try em at home!

1 bag yellow cake mix

1 bag chocolate chips

1 stick butter

1 brick cream cheese

1 tsp vanilla

1 egg

Let butter and cheese get to room temp, then combine in a mixing bowl. Add egg and vanilla, combine. Then slowly add cake mix and chips. Combine thoroughly. Mixture will be thick, not unlike my johnson.

With a spoon, scoop onto a cookie sheet that has been sprayed with non-stick spray. Place in pre-heated oven at 375 degrees for 8-12 minutes.

Like I said earlier, if a few peaks on the cookies have started to brown, pull out immediately. That's the longest you should cook them; just before they brown is ideal. Usually 9-10 minutes.

If the whole cookie turns brown in the oven, flush the cookies down the toilet and drink yourself into a stupor, because you have failed the cakie experiment.

The cakie will not look symmetrical or particularly attractive. The mix is too thick to get a perfectly round cookie. But they are mighty tasty.

Hey guys, wanna hear some groundbreaking shit? Wanna hear some revolutionary thinking from a revolutionary guy? The man, Jeff Schultz of the AJC. The monumental vanguard idea that he actually got paid to write? Baseball playoff games start too late! Schultz filed his complaint in one of those new fangled top ten lists that are all the rage. According to him, baseball's late end times mean the game should be wiped off the American sporting map. The dimwit, to wit:

10: I believe in karma. I believe in playoffs starting before 10 p.m. I believe this baseball postseason going down in flames is just what the sport deserves.

9: I know. It's not baseball's fault it's raining in Philadelphia. But it is the owners' fault for so completely selling out to television for the short-term bucks that it starts World Series games at 8:30 p.m. in the East. It is baseball's fault for starting Game 3 after a 90-minute rain delay, which caused a 1:45 a.m. finish - and won't that be great for ratings. Baseball has lost a generation. When this deal with Fox is over, it'll be a wonder if any major network touches this product.

8: Final piece of evidence: I was in Philadelphia Saturday night/Sunday morning. I walked out to the parking lot in the fifth inning. Saw a few dads and sons walking to their cars. The score was 2-1 in a World Series game -- and they were leaving.

DO YOU HEAR THAT?? PEOPLE WERE LEAVING THE GAME EARLY. Hey, Schultz. Maybe the kids were just wimps. Maybe they had the runs from eating too many of these. Maybe you're just an old fashioned dink with nothing to write on deadline.

Are you mad at baseball for being less accessible to younger fans? Do you think your karmic scorched earth policy will remedy that? Because that makes no damn sense. Here's one more thing to think about you goof. If baseball goes away I won't have anything to write about and will dissect your stupid columns all day.

What time did the Super Bowl get over last year? What time do the NBA playoffs end? Those sports don't even have to contend with rain and they get over about the same time. What you're really mad at is television. Don't blame baseball. Go put a flaming bag of crap on Rupert Murdoch's doorstep and leave my game alone.

P.S. I agree with with point #4 about Urban Meyer. I guess you can't lose em all.

A caller to the Ron & Fez radio show on Sirius/XM says that WIP Sports Radio in Philly is reporting that MLB is going to postpone the final three-and-a-half innings of Game Five of the World Series to Wednesday night. Take that fourth-hand news with a grain of salt, people.

UPDATE: Tampabay.com is reporting it now and they're a reputable news source, so let's go ahead and call this an official postponement.

Seattle's nudie bar king Roger Forbes is finally ready to tackle his greatest obstacle in spreading strip clubs across the Emerald City: he wants to open up a titty bar next door to the Seattle Mariners home ballpark. Forbes wants to open a Déjà Vu strip club just 400 feet from Safeco Field and the Mariners are not happy.

The team has filed a formal objection with the city, citing that lots of kiddies go to Mariners games and they shouldn't be 'exposed' to such a naughty business so close to a family gathering place.

But Seattle attorney Peter Buck, who is representing the business, said the restriction applies only to a "public" open space or park.

Safeco is a private facility where people pay to get in, Buck said.

"We are familiar with the Mariners' objection, but consider it a question of taste rather than a legal position," Buck said.

Buck then pulled out a mandolin and serenaded the news reporter with an impromptu acoustic version of "Near Wild Heaven".

Really though, I think the Mariners biggest fear is that they'll never be able to drag Ichiro out of the club.

(We owe a Sprite Zero to BBTF Newsblog)

Oh, Bud Selig, you were never as good as Willard Scott at predicting weather patterns. Last night's downpour created a deluge of water on the field and a debacle in the hearts and minds of angry fans everywhere. Folks are not taking Milli Vanilli's advice and are instead pointing a crooked finger at Herr Selig!

Once the Philadelphia faithful are done gnashing their teeth and rending their garments, I hope they can dig up their ticket stubs from last night's contest. They'll need 'em tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or Thursday night. Whenever this game resumes, which must, of course, be in primetime or else the FOX network will have Selig's head on a platter.

Here's what Sir Shrugs-a-Lot has to say to the folks:

Game 5 tickets include a rain check stub, and replacement tickets will not be issued. Selig promised to "bend over backwards to be sensitive" to the fans of Philadelphia, lauding them as "tremendous."

"These fans obviously came and bought tickets for a night game, so they deserve to come back and see a night game," Selig said. "Yes, it will be the same starting time, whether it's Tuesday night or Wednesday night or Thursday night or whenever. But, yes, it will be."

Okay, Bud, you can say that bullshit in a press conference, but I'd like to see you say that directly to Phillies fan Michael Hughes' face:

"Major League Baseball is all about [sportscaster] Joe Buck and the ratings - they don't want to see Philadelphia win a championship," said Michael Hughes of Holland, Bucks County, in a comment that seemed to capture the sour and even conspiratorial mood at the rain-drenched ballpark.

Well Mike, I agree with your first point, but your second point is ridiculous, especially with all the wacky umpiring calls that have seemed to go Philadelphia's way in the first 4 and a half games. Still, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Go ahead and criminalize Joe Buck and the ratings. Go ahead and verbally assault Selig. You got my back.

Each morning during the playoffs, we'll attempt to answer some questions about the playoff games that absolutely nobody asked. This could be helpful and fun or this could be painful and uninformative. Either way, it's another listicle in the listicle-ful sportsblogosphere.

• How did we end up with that suspended game because of rain? Blame the television networks. FOX and the other folks who pay baseball for the right to broadcast games have the league grasped firmly around the nuts. If Bud Selig and his people were so sure that Philadelphia was getting torrential downpours last night (and they must have been, because even dolts like me knew it) then they should have moved the start time of the game up a couple hours. No chance, because they don't control what happens in baseball games during the postseason. FOX is in control, and they say when the games start, how long the commercial breaks are between innings, and even what horrible jacket Jeanne Zelasko must wear during the pregame coverage.
  
  
• Which team has the upper hand tonight when Game Five resumes? It's a tie game, but the Phillies have two distinct advantages. One, they know exactly which pitcher they will be facing in the bottom of the sixth, Grant Balfour. Cole Hamels was due up to bat first, but he'll be replaced by a Phillies hitter of Charlie Manuel's choice. The only two Phillies players to collect hits off Balfour are Carlos Ruiz and Jayson Werth, both in the starting lineup, so they're out. Matt Stairs has a .861 career OPS against righties, so he's probably a good choice. Greg Dobbs had 9 tater tots in 217 at-bats against righties, so he's another good choice.
  
  
• How mad would Rays fans have been had they not scored in the sixth? Nobody wants to see a World Series clinching game called after five-and-a-half innings, but maybe that would have been the most fair way to decide it. Sure, the Rays would have lost three more opportunities to tie up the game, but for anyone to question the dominance of the Phillies in the series up until that point of the game would have been wrong. The Rays had been held to just eight thirteen runs in 41 innings up until Carlos Pena's game-tying RBI; that's fewer than two three runs for every nine innings played. To question the authority of a World Championship decided on a game called due to rain would be short-sighted when one team has simply been outplayed.
  
  
• How pissed are folks gonna be when they find out "House" was pre-empted? I don't know, and I don't care.
  
  
• Will you come back promptly at 8PM tonight to continue our glogging? Thanks in advance. We had a great time last night and would welcome new commenters and readers with open arms.

That picture is from 2006, but seriously, if you have nobody else to blame for a World Series game suspended because of rain, blame Bud Selig.

Welcome, liveglog club members, to the fifth liveglog of the World Series as presented by Walkoff Walk! Follow along with me tonight as I attempt to make clever witticisms about the baseball game set to start in Philadelphia any minute now. The Tampa Bay Rays are looking to rebound from two straight road losses to the Philadelphia Phillies, who find themselves justthisclose to a friggin' championship. Because tonight has the opportunity for one team to clinch, prepare yourself for the possibility that this is the final liveglog of the 2008 season.

If some elements of this liveglog seem familiar to you, perhaps it's because Game Five's pitching matchup is the same as that of Game One. Therefore and henceforth, I have deemed it necessary to repeat the usage of the following pair of photographs that completely illustrates tonight's starters, Scott Kazmir of the Rays and Cole Hamels of the Phillies:

Both pitchers didn't go off message very much in Game One; Hamels continued to dominate while Kazmir continued to struggle, giving up too many walks and too many tater tots to be successful. Even worse for Kazmir, he'll need to pitch a shutout tonight to win if his Rays lineup continues to be mired in shittiness. From Fribble King David Pinto at Baseball Musings:

The strength of this lineup lies in their 1-4 hitters, and that quartet has not gotten on base in this series. Combined they collected seven hits and four walks in the first four games in 60 at bats for a .172 OBA.

Yikes! Those stats are enough to make anyone lose their hair. Let's hope for a good, close game that is completely unaffected by poor umpiring calls. Enough prelude, onto the glog...AFTER THE COMPULSORY JUMP

Hey kids, you are alone.

• WHAT happened to the Rays? This team seemed way too good to drop four of five. We'll have to see if they can mend a broken will for the second time in as many series.


• CAN Cole Hamels stay acey and wrap this thing up for the Philly side? Both he and Kazmir need to keep the ball from flying out of the yard like it's been doing.


• YOU don't really think it's going to be this easy for the Phils, do you?

Join us back here for tonight's gloggatron (featuring the illustrious Rob Iracane! -Rob I.). It could be the last one you get all year. Make pico de gallo.

Walkoff Walk friend and erstwhile liveglogger Dmac brings us the best new web gadget in weeks: your chance to drag-and-drop wisps of hair onto your favorite Rays players and managers at Tampa Bay Online. It will let you design a new mohawk and/or playoff beard for Carl Crawford, Aki Iwamura, or Joe Maddon in a similar way that those old magnadoodle things worked. Here's my wildly inappropriate work of art:

I am ashamed of myself.

The Newark Bears have certainly gained their share of press notoriety in the past. Employing players like Ozzie Canseco, Jose Canseco and Rickey Henderson have ensured that they received coverage that outsized most of their Atlantic League rivals. Unfortunately for the team, the owner and the city, that hasn't translated into ticket sales and now it looks like the team could be going bearbelly up.

Marc Berson, a Millburn-based real estate developer who purchased the team in 2003, said this morning that mounting financial losses have forced him to fire several team employees and that he is exploring options to sell the team. The news was first reported on the Web site AtlanticLeagueBaseball.com.

"There's no secret that the economic side of this has not been positive for years," Berson said. "There's no secret to that. There's no secret that the numbers of people attending have not been anywhere near the capacity of that stadium. Anyone can take notice of those two facts."

When it opened in 1999 at a cost of $36 million, Newark Bears & Eagles Riverfront Stadium was supposed be a lynchpin in the revitalization of the city's downtown area.

But the team never drew the crowds Essex County and Newark officials had expected. The Bears averaged 2,746 fans this season, second-lowest total in the Atlantic League. The rival Somerset Patriots, meanwhile, drew nearly twice as many spectators - 5,433 a game - playing in Bridgewater.

While the city council is saying nothing is a done deal, they're also exploring options for doing something with the big stadium that may be sitting empty in the middle of town. The article seems to regard it as a damn shame that Newark won't have professional baseball, and from an historical standpoint that may be true. But if you're getting your attendance doubled by a team in Bridgewater, that takes some of the weight out of the "bad economy" and just says that people don't really want to go to Newark.

The real losers in all of this are baseball's losers. Where will the Carl Everetts and Randall Simons of the world call home when even a city as notoriously warm and loving as Newark closes its doors to them? Sad really.

"THAT BETTER BE POOP ON YOUR HAT, YOUNG MAN." Those were the words echoing through the head of Overmanagin' Joe Maddon as he spied a dark spot on the bill of Joe Blanton's cap. So what did the meddling one do? Did he send Gabe Gross out to talk to the ump? No he didn't get that cute, but he did go out and say something himself.

Maddon said: "We did notice, it was rather dark. I did bring it to their [umpires'] attention. I asked them to just watch it and be vigilant about it, and nothing happened. But I was concerned about it early on." Hallion replied to Maddon that he would check the baseball, and if he found a foreign substance on the ball, MLB.com reported, he would act on it. Later last night, MLB.com removed the story from its Web site. Geoff Grant, the managing editor of MLB.com said the story was removed because it was obtained "prematurely" by viewing a feed from Fox, which broadcast the game. Grant said that MLB.com would post a new story after the game that would include more reporting and quotes.

Of course Maddon had to get his La Russa on in the World Series. Of course he did. That comparison makes so much damned sense I can't believe I haven't used it before. Maddon following in the footsteps of the original hipster doofus overwrought manager. Also you have to love the Geoff Grant aside in that above paragraph. "Hey uh.. sorry I copied the story from Fox... I'll uh... get some quotes... and um... reporting! Yeah that's the ticket!" It's a shame he's working for a site like MLB.com that has no access.

The reaction from the Philly dugout was predictably "aw shucks it's dirt" making this whole dance one of my least favorite things in baseball. From Charlie Manuel:

Phillies manager Charlie Manuel wasn't aware of what Maddon was protesting about. At a postgame news conference, Manuel took his own cap off and pointed at the bill. "You can look at my cap, it's got the same kind of stuff he's [Maddon] talking about."

Gross, dude. Why is Joe Blanton licking his fingers and wiping it on Charlie Manuel's hat? That is one weird clubhouse.

Forget the day the Declaration of Independence was signed, forget the day Chickie and Pete's first added Old Bay seasoning onto crinkle cut fries, and forget the day "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" debuted on FX because yesterday was the single greatest day in Philadelphia's three-hundred year history. Yesterday, the Philadelphia Eagles finally won a game where the other team got screwed by a bad call, the Who continued their long history of selling out and being overrated by playing a packed show at the Wachovia Center, and the Philadelphia Phillies came one game closer to winning the World Series with their tater tot assault over the Tampa Bay Rays.

I was lucky enough to be one of over 100,000 people to enjoy the day's festivities down at the sports and entertainment complex off Interstate 95 because I had tickets to the Eagles game. It was my first trip to Lincoln Financial Field and I came away fully understanding that Eagles fans are the single most passionate group of degenerates in the entire world. When the Eagles defense were flagged on a bogus roughing-the-quarterback call in the first quarter, the crowd joined together as one and expressed their displeasure at the referee's call. For twenty straight minutes. Without pause. It was ridiculous. Every human being in that building was booing; I've been to dozens of games at Giants Stadium but I have never heard a louder collective boo than I heard yesterday.

After the Eagles big win, we headed to our car and saw folks pulling off their Brian Dawkins jerseys and showing off their Shane Victorino t-shirts, whether or not they had tickets to the World Series. The parking lots were jammed with people coming, going, or simply staying to drink some Yuenglings and play some cornhole. It was just that kind of perfect intersection of a football win, an upcoming World Series game, and Philadelphians actually feeling blessed. True, our Eagles seats were directly in front of a loudmouth asshole who criticized every single Eagles play that failed to gain 5 yards, but 99% of folks in the area were as happy as a peach.

As we sat in an hour's worth of traffic in our quest to get back to the highway, we fielded a call from my sister. She and my brother-in-law were ready to pile into the car and head down to the parking lot for the World Series game. We warned her to wait a bit and avoid the gridlock. They made it to the lot, found a parking spot amongst the masses, and were rewarded with a big win.

Unfortunately, if Cole Hamels and the boys pull out another win tonight, Sunday October 26th, 2008 may lose the title of "Greatest Day in Philadelphia's History".

(Picture stolen from the inimitable Big League Stew. Go look at the other pictures, jerk)

Watch everyone's favorite Yankee third baseman gets together with some of his celebrity sports pals and endorses Matt_T's favorite video game, Guitar Hero. Spoofing 1980s movies is just so retro.

(We owe some of that Canadian Coke to Ball Don't Lie)

Each morning during the playoffs, we'll attempt to answer some questions about the playoff games that absolutely nobody asked. This could be helpful and fun or this could be painful and uninformative. Either way, it's another listicle in the listicle-ful sportsblogosphere.

• So did Jimmy Rollins get tagged out or not? Well, yes, Evan Longoria went wrist-deep to tag Rollins in a first inning run-down but third base ump Tim Welke called him safe. This is one of those "why don't have instant replay for every possible situation in baseball" moments, and you may be asking that same question right now. But don't forget, you didn't get to sleep until midnight last night; do you really want these games to go longer and longer? Which is more important to you, accurate baseball calls or your circadian rhythms?
  
  
• Why would anyone ever throw a fastball to Ryan Howard? Granted, when Trever Miller gave up that ding-dong to Howard in the eighth inning, the game was well out of reach. But he threw an 85 MPH fastball right over the center of the plate and Howard attacked it as if it were a plateful of buttermilk pancakes doused in boysenberry syrup. The Phillies collected their fourth homer of the night, Howard's second, and their ninth tater tot of the series.
  
  
• How horrible have Evan Longoria and Carlos Pena been? Four games may be a small sample size, but the two top offensive players on a World Series team just went hitless for four straight games. There's not much baseball left for the pair to make up time; with ace lefty Cole Hamels on the mound tonight seeking the clincher, the duo might prove to be the biggest offensive bust in World Series history.
  
  
• What is Zelasko wearing? She looks like a California Raisin. That's a commenter-submitted question by Honeynut Ichiros from last night's liveglog. Seriously, Jeanne Zelasko's hair, makeup and outfit makes her look like a circus clown on a regular basis. And Eric Karros has a speech impediment. I'm not holding back here, people.
  
  
• Who's making the cakies tonight? It's Game Five, it's Cole Hamels and Scott Kazmir, and it's another Walkoff Walk liveglog, dropping tonight at 8PM.

Oops! Live stuff, after the jump

Game 3 didn't represent the best of baseball, but what it lacked in execution it made up in drama. Dramatic attrition. What does Overmanagin' Joe Maddon got in store for us tonight? Will he insert Cliffy Floyd into right field? Did anyone bothering waking up Charlie Manuel from his afternoon nap, or did they just rubber stamp the same lineup he's gone with all series?

The Devil's in the the Detail Rays - The right field carousel continues to spin. Back in right is Ben Zobrist, utilityman to the stars! The Rays outfield is so rangy that Maddon can get away with a converted infielder in right field. He gives Maddon plenty of versatility in the late innings also, perhaps allowing a better hitter to take Jason Bartlett's place should the situation demand it.

Andy Sonnanstine is a control pitcher that only one Phillie has seen before. He pitched reasonably well in the first two playoff rounds, drawing 13 ground balls out of the Red Sox in 7.1 innings in addition to numerous questions regarding his tribe membership. He's a stuff guy that well let everyone know right away if he's on.

Uncle Cholly's Xerox Squad - Steady Charles doesn't want to mess with a lineup that is, for all intents and purposes, working. The Phils keep getting people on base, it's but a matter of time before the floodgates open. Jimmy Rollins and Jayson Werth were on base 5 times last night, if not for Dioner Navvarro's cannon and Jayson Werth's braincramps, they will come around to score more often that not. If the top of the order sets the table against a guy known to struggle in the early innings, this could be over before it starts.

Joe Blanton spent 3.5 years in the American League, so he knows most Rays hitters. Again, Carlos Pena and Carl Crawford have good career numbers in limited at bats against Blanton, as they do against Moyer, which translated into jack shit last night. Nothing about Blanton really jumps off the page, aside from his poor choice of facial hair. He throws four pitches, all around the same speed. If he doesn't put too many guys on base, he should be fine.

I think this is the Phillies game to lose. Their offense is poised to explode, it will take something extra special from Total Eclipse of the Sonny to keep the Rays from the brink.

Each weekend during the playoffs, I'll attempt to answer some questions about the playoff games that absolutely nobody asked or ever would ask. This could be fun and uninformative or this could be painful and uninformative. Either way, it's another listicle in the listicle-ful sportsblogosphere.

It may not have been pretty, but it certainly counts all the same. A well-pitched game got a little woolly at the last, ending as anticlimactically as possible. Well, for WoW anyway. No shrimp, no craziness involving a fifth infielder, just a boring little roller down the line that may or may not have gone foul. The run scored all the same, and the Phillies now have a chance to clinch the World Series title at home. Question time!

• Why were the powers that be so determined to play last night? I'm not quiet sure. The already ludicrous 8:30 start time was pushed all the way back to after 10 pm local time. Was losing the off day the big concern? Was it losing the chance to draw a big number on a Saturday night? I'm no Neilsen staffer, but I'm pretty the final pitch of the game flying at close to 2am may put a big damper in the ratings.
  
  The off day is scheduled for Tuesday, so it isn't fear of going up against Monday Night Football as I first suspected. I suppose the hassle of re-scheduling is considerable, but that couldn't have been the driving force?


• Did Joe Maddon get it right with Gabe Gross? Not really. Gabe Gross was in the right place at the right time, twice. His lazy fly ball cashed Crawford after he did all the heavy lifting, and his RBI ground out followed the controversial bunt single and a Fat Catcher double. Credit to Gross for putting the bat on the ball (the other right fielders on Maddon's bench ie Rocco have struck out with some frequency this postseason) but that is about all you can give Grabe. This is why RBI isn't a good evaluative stat friends!


• Is Jayson Werth the worst baserunner in the National League? Probably not, but he sure picked a bad time to get overeager. That is the only explanation for getting picked off two games in a row. Once on second base, trying to grab a secondary lead and once straying too far from first on a blooper. Safety first friend, this is the World fucking Series. Werth was on base three times last night, so he's doing something right. But trying to do too much on the bases won't endear him to an old school guy like Charlie Manuel.


• Ryan Howard hit a breaking ball, is he cured? Not by a long shot. Pitch F/X tells us the slider Howard hit was a breaking ball in name only. A straight hanger down and in, right on a tee for the taking. Howard hasn't looked good against quality pitching, but your don't hit 177 home runs in fewer than 600 games if you don't punish mistakes. Look for junkballing Sonny to change speeds and continue the diet of crap Howard as seen all month.

Thanks to everybody that joined in last night's live glog, we'll have a full and complete live glog tonight with your host CTC, weather permitting. Joe Blanton and Andy Sonnanstine in Game 4 at the CBP. Check back in later today and I'll swing around the baseball world and see if I can't dig up something worthwhile.

Unfortunately, I trapped at work and out of my normal glogspace. Fortunately, there is an HDtv and laptop handy, so I'm back in the game!

And what a game it looks to be. I am blessed by the MLB international feed, so I'll be free of Joe and Tim's adventures in boredom. I could always switch to Fox to increase my understanding of most of your suffering, but I'm just not that compassionate. I just cast my judging gaze over the lineups, but let's see what they look like exactly:

Tampa Bay Rays A. Iwamura 2b B.J. Upton cf C. Pena 1b E. Longoria 3b C. Crawford lf D. Navarro c G. Gross rf J. Bartlett ss M. Garza p

Phillies J. Rollins ss J. Werth rf C. Utley 2b R. Howard 1b P. Burrell lf S. Victorino cf P. Feliz 3b C. Ruiz c J. Moyer p

Let's hope the rain holds off and we can see a ballgame, dammit! The answers lie after the jump.