Hey, did you hear anything about the global economic crisis? Me neither! I've been watching too much baseball and profiting off the blood of the working class. But Bloomberg.com is telling me that this global economic crisis might actually affect the multi-national corporation known as Major League Baseball! Negatively! I know!
The credit crunch and fallout from the Standard & Poor's 500 Index falling 35 percent for the year is also hurting corporate sponsorship. The Mariners lost Washington Mutual Inc. after it was saved by JPMorgan Chase & Co., and the Arizona Diamondbacks need to find an advertiser on the pool in the right-field stands after Riviera Pools filed for bankruptcy.
Oh dear God no! Who is going to sponsor the goddamn pool in Arizona? How will the Diamondbacks find the money to pay for Adam Dunn's pedicures if nobody is sponsoring that stupid right field pool?
Seriously though, baseball's appeal will not fade despite the global financial crisis. Heck, the Yankees and Mets have nearly sold out luxury suites in their respective new stadiums for over five-hundred thousand dollars, and league officials will be diving Scrooge McDuck-style into a $5 billion television contract for the next five years. By the time that thing expires, the United States will be back living off the hog and the FOX network will pony up 50 billion dollars for the right to torture our ears with the blathering of Tim McCarver for another half decade.
If anything, folks who can't afford tickets will watch more baseball on television and turn to a time-tested entertainment source to avoid thinking about their 401(k) plans headed into the shitter.