Global Economic Crisis Threatens Baseball, Pool Companies

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Hey, did you hear anything about the global economic crisis? Me neither! I've been watching too much baseball and profiting off the blood of the working class. But is telling me that this global economic crisis might actually affect the multi-national corporation known as Major League Baseball! Negatively! I know!

The credit crunch and fallout from the Standard & Poor's 500 Index falling 35 percent for the year is also hurting corporate sponsorship. The Mariners lost Washington Mutual Inc. after it was saved by JPMorgan Chase & Co., and the Arizona Diamondbacks need to find an advertiser on the pool in the right-field stands after Riviera Pools filed for bankruptcy.

Oh dear God no! Who is going to sponsor the goddamn pool in Arizona? How will the Diamondbacks find the money to pay for Adam Dunn's pedicures if nobody is sponsoring that stupid right field pool?

Seriously though, baseball's appeal will not fade despite the global financial crisis. Heck, the Yankees and Mets have nearly sold out luxury suites in their respective new stadiums for over five-hundred thousand dollars, and league officials will be diving Scrooge McDuck-style into a $5 billion television contract for the next five years. By the time that thing expires, the United States will be back living off the hog and the FOX network will pony up 50 billion dollars for the right to torture our ears with the blathering of Tim McCarver for another half decade.

If anything, folks who can't afford tickets will watch more baseball on television and turn to a time-tested entertainment source to avoid thinking about their 401(k) plans headed into the shitter.

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Its also good news for those in the mythical middleclass, as teams will lower prices or do promotions to bring people in.

So live baseball for less!

Less corporate assholes paying too much for seats is a good thing.

Moneybags Baby does not approve of Barack Obama's tax plan.

Since the inception of the Wild Card in 1995, NINE wild-card teams have made it to the Fall Classic, including 4 winners.

That is a STATISTIC!

Also, boooooo price gouging.

You know why? Because Wild Card teams are usually not just the second best team in the division, they're usually the second best team in the entire league.

I just made that up.

78 percent of statistics are made up

BC TWINS FAN IS BACK! How was your honeymoon?

It was great, lots of sun, mexican beer, fruity drinks, guiltless sex, and guacamole.

Sounds just like CTC's trip to Astoria, Queens last month.

Yes, just replace sun with gray skies, mexican beer with Ouzo, fruity drinks with fruity friends, guiltless sex with hand love and guacamole with feta.

bc: In that order?

If the owners can talk about billions and billions, MLB doesn't have much to worry about.


I'm gonna end you.


Hope you enjoyed the wedding, cause it's gonna be a short honeymoon!

-I know that makes no sense, since you actually just got back from your honeymoon, but Lord Helmet needed to be heard.


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