Kevin Youkilis Interested In Neither Making Friends Nor Influencing People

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It is hardly a modern phenomenon that baseball players from opposing teams are friendly. You see it all the time: Bozo Millar joking like a moron with the first baseman after a bloop single. Some Dominican dude doing a 15 point handshake with some other Dominican dude at the cage during batting practice. It's all part of the scene, man.

Well it aint part of Kevin Youkilis' scene. Especially in the playoffs. Preach it brother.

When asked if it was hard to make the switch across the diamond from first to third at this point in the year, he didn't blather on about angles and spin and such.

"I'd rather play third than first because you don't have to talk to anybody," the Red Sox cleanup man said. "When you play first, you have to hold baserunners and talk to them after they get their hits or whatever. In the playoffs, you don't want to talk to anyone on the other team."

Listen, Chatty Cathy. You are either with Youk or you are against him. Your friendship matters little and your idle blather, even less. I can imagine him taking the silent tack anytime the pressure is on.

Wife giving birth? As she screams and the doctor and is continually talking, Youk stands to the side, arms folded intently focused on the birth canal.

High speed chase while driving a semi? Without taking his eyes off the road, Youk rips the cb out of the dash and tosses it out the window, sending it crashing through a cop's windshield.

Jeopardy contestant? During that part where Alex comes over to talk about some mundane story that happened when you were in college, Youk gives him an icy stare whilst silently making a slow and deliberate throat slashing motion.

I guess what I'm saying is, everyone should like it better when Youk is at third.


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7 Comments

Never thought I'd read the words "birth canal" on WoW. I have been proven wrong once again.

You must have missed our post on CTC's preference in pornography back in May.

And its really hard to stroke your beard of doom while talking.

Less talk, more stroke.

thats what she said.

mmmm...labor porn....

You forgot to mention the sweat running off the end of his nose.

Writing a blog? www.KevYouk.blog.biz produces a ton of content and makes few syntax errors, but the comments are never read, much less responded to.

But I thought it was our sense of humor that has sustained us as a people for 5,000 years.

Give me a schtickel of flouride.

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