Morning Answers to Questions Nobody Asked

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Each morning during the playoffs, we'll attempt to answer some questions about the playoff games that absolutely nobody asked. This could be helpful and fun or this could be painful and uninformative. Either way, it's another listicle in the listicle-ful sportsblogosphere.

  • Who is more despicable, Manny Ramirez or Tim McCarver? We may not know everything that goes on behind the scenes with Manny and his presumed lack of effort with the Sox, but we know everything that goes on in the booth with McCarver because he can't shut his fat mouth. Says McCarver about Manny, "But some of the things he did were simply despicable, despicable -- like not playing, refusing to play. Forgetting what knee to limp on. And now it's washed, it's gone." All bullshit, all secondhand stories that he heard, all completely inconsequential. Facts are facts: Manny produced for the Red Sox offensively before he was traded and McCarver's brain is made up of 50% horse manure. Mute your TV's tonight, folks, and put on the radio.

  • How much does T.J. Simers hate Philadelphia? Probably not much at all, despite his attack piece in the L.A. Times. Simers is just another shock columnist whose only skill is promoting negativity to earn readers. Well, T.J., congrats, because you got me to link to your poorly-written column. Says Simers, "It's an angry place, all right, everything old here in Philadelphia, crumbling and in ruin. Even the city's main attraction has a crack in it." God, that is hack.

  • Have you tired of all the Charlie Manuel/Manny Ramirez articles yet? Like this one? If not, please re-read item #1 and mute your goddamn TV tonight.

  • How bad is this movie going to be? The steep career descent of Al Pacino has reached its nadir. The only redeeming aspect of a Lasorda biopic will be if they recreate the 'swirly move'.

  • How awesome is this library? It's the third happiest place on Earth, after Disney World and Las Vegas. Knowledge is sexy!

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10 Comments

Simers is an idiot, Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Yah, maaaaan!!! The mainstream media totally sucks!

(except for Harold Reynolds)

(I apologize in advance for the length of this comment)

Rob, thanks for riling me up with that Simers piece. What a bag of dicks that guy is.

...But then it really turns ugly for the Phillies, who can only throw 100-year-old softball pitcher Jamie Moyer at the Dodgers and then just another guy in Joe Blanton...but even at their worst, they feasted on pitchers like Moyer and Blanton...lose the advantage of playing a team that can do no better than Moyer and Blanton...

ERA+ for Moyer and Blanton, who have apparently shamed baseball with their pitching efforts:
120, 106

ERA+ for the Kuroda and Kershaw, who would clearly be #1 and #2 on any other roster:
119, 104

YES HOW WILL THE PHILLIES OVERCOME SUCH TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PITCHING MATCHUPS?//?/?

But leaving L.A. up 3-2 makes everyone at Fox hoping for an L.A.-Boston matchup feeling pretty good

1. Fox doesn't care whether it's LA or Philly. The network spots are sold. The local markets in each city are not great right now, but LA is #2 and Philly is #4, so the revenue wouldn't change that much (if at all). In terms of ratings, the national numbers wouldn't be affected if Philly is in and LA is out. The only thing that Fox cares about is the BoSox.
2. The Phillies were 48-33 at home this year, and 2-0 at home in the NLDS. The Dodgers were 36-45 on the road this year, including a 4-game sweep in Philly in August.
3. Chad Billingsley and Hiroki Kuroda, the possible game 6 and 7 starters, were a combined 9-14 on the road this year, with ERAs 10% higher away from home.

Why in the hell would anyone pro-Dodgers "feel good" about going to Philly for games 6 and 7???

Finally, on a personal note, what part of the fucking city was TJ Simers in that was "crumbling and in ruin?" Teej, your hotel is in Center City. Very nice, upscale section, midtown-Manhattan-esque. Your cab ride likely took you down route 95, which looks like every other major highway in every other major city. Then you passed the warehouses on the way to the ballpark. The Hollywood Hills, it's not, but it isn't exactly Pompeii, either.

The most irritating part is that he wrote this article specifically to rile d-bags like me up, and it worked.

/counts to 10

"I apologize in advance for the length"

That's what I said to your Mom. ZING!!!

Honeynut Ichiros, we'd have given you a guest post if we knew you had so much ire. We love ire!

regarding honeynut's comment:

Wall of text crits you for +100 damage, you die.


Regarding that article:

Someone has their head in their ass after sweeping the cubs (though that in itself is a huge ego boost).

@Rob

I'm from Philly, so clearly I have lots of ire, what with my dilapidated city crumbling all around me and my thug neighbors getting drunk and my favorite teams being the doormats of the various professional sports leagues that they inhabit.

@Honeynut: It could be worse... you could be from Chicago!

Simers wrote the EXACT same article in 2001 when the Sixers played the Lakers in the finals. What. A. Hack.

If Pacino is in a Miramax film he must be desperate, they are the K-Mart of filmmakers.

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