Morning Answers to Questions Nobody Asked

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Each morning during the playoffs, we'll attempt to answer some questions about the playoff games that absolutely nobody asked. This could be helpful and fun or this could be painful and uninformative. Either way, it's another listicle in the listicle-ful sportsblogosphere.

  • Was Hiroki Kuroda as good last night as Jamie Moyer was bad? No, Kuroda pitched well but he'd have had to throw a no-hitter to approach the extreme point away from average that Jamie Moyer reached. Moyer retired only four batters while getting smacked around for six hits and six runs. He looked like an old fart out there on the mound for the first time in a while and the Dodgers weren't hanging around waiting for him to dink around the strike zone. They were swinging on pitch one and it worked.

  • When is Jimmy Rollins going to start hitting? Hopefully for Phillies fans, it'll be tonight. Kid's just 1-for-13 so far in the NLCS but has some success against tonight's Dodger starter Derek Lowe. Rollins is batting .300 in his career against Lowe, who has made four starts on three days' rest in his career, going 2-1 with a 5.09 ERA. Torre is pushing his sheckels to the middle of the table by starting Lowe on three days' rest instead of grizzled vet Greg Maddux or young stud lefty Clayton Kershaw. He's a gambler!

  • Which player will be the first to get hit in the back tonight? Things have certainly gotten heated between two teams that really have no recent rivalry to speak of. I'm guessing that Lowe will gently guide his 85 MPH 'fast'ball into Shane Victorino's rear end sometime during tonight's game, but I could be completely wrong. After all, who wants to put a speedy Hawai'ian on the bases when there are bigger, slower targets like Ryan Howard.

  • How long is this afternoon's ALCS game gonna last? With Jon Lester on the mound, this one's going to be over in less than three hours. By the way, the average LCS game so far has lasted 3 hours and 36 minutes, but the two LCS games I've had the privilege of glogging have been done in under 3 hours. Thanks for staying up late, Sooze and Lloyd! Those two did an amazing job this weekend.

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So you're saying it would be better to put it in Howard's rear end than Victorino's?
Cue the Sir Mixalot.

"Torre is pushing his sheckels to the middle of the table by starting Lowe on three days' rest"

I think Torre fervently remembers the Derek Lowe that went on 2 days rest in game 7 of the 2004 ALCS.

I think Torre also is unaware of the truism that players only do that when they play AGAINST you, not when they play FOR you, as every single fantasy owner in the world can solemnly confirm before dropping a litany of F-bombs.

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