Playoff Predictions: Kris

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Brewers vs. Philies: CC Sabathia didn't fare so well in the playoffs last year against Boston, but I still can't discount how good he looks right now. Getting two starts from him in a short series could mean that the Brewers only need to to outslug the Phillies once in a non CC start. I'll buck conventional wisdom and take Milwaukee in 5.

Dodgers vs. Cubs: The Cubs continued to play hungry long after Milwaukee faded away and gave up the divisional ghost. Aramis Ramirez is hot and the pitching looks solid. They could batter this mistake prone Dodger club and retire to the broom closet. Put me down for Chicago in 3.

Red Sox vs. Angels: JD Drew is feeling better, but we'll see if Josh Beckett's oblique strain is as mild as the team would have people believe. His game 3 start is a turning point for the entire postseason. Call me an optimist as I take Red Sox in 5.

White Sox vs. Rays: Could the White Sox be this year's Roxtobermagicaholics? Doubtful, but if John Danks can pitch the entire postseason like pitched last night, it would be a huge asset. The White Sox just have to hang around long enough to get to his next start. Unfortunately for them I expect big Postseason Coming Out Parties for Scott Kazmir, Matt Garza and that airtight Rays bullpen. Let's go with Rays in 4.

NLDS: Cubs over Brewers in 7

ALCS: Rays over Red Sox in 6.

World Series: Rays fever reaches heights of national hysteria unseen since Teddy Ruxpin's 80s hey day. Tampa's pitching puts on a clinic and Cubs fans seek into dispair as their feelgood story and curse breaking gets swallowed up by the freaking Devil Rays. Corks are popped in the winner's locker room. Cheap champagne? Not with Joe Maddon around. Players will be bathing in 2006 Stag's Leap Chardonnay. Oaky, with notes of green apple and Jonny Gomes' neck sweat. Tampa in 4.

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Teddy Ruxpin loves it when you pop "Straight Outta Compton" in his butt and push play.

My Teddy Ruxpin used to tell me to burn things.

I'm down with the brew crew in honor of my fallen homie CC.

Fightins in 5.
Dodgers in 5.
Rays in 5.
Angels in 5.

Dodgers in 6.
Rays in 6.

Dodgers in 7.

(According to my predictions, they'll be finishing about the time the New Orleans Bowl kicks off.)

The Tigers are going to score 1000 runs.

That's a lot of baseball Hos

I get giddy at the idea that the Cubs could lose in the world series, if only for the hours of featurettes we would get to see about Chicagoans far and wide who really, really think that next year is this year.

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