Playoff Predictions: Rob Iracane

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Brewers vs. Philies: There's only so far a team can ride one pitcher, especially when he won't appear until the second game of the series on three days' rest for the fifteenth consecutive start. Besides, Bob Uecker rejected our request that he pen our Brewers preview. So it's gotta be Philadelphia in 3.

Dodgers vs. Cubs: I really like the Dodgers rotation and their offensive prowess of late and all the good stuff that comes with Joe Torre's inspirational dago influence on the Los Angeles area, but defense wins championships, and the Dodgers play defense like retarded squirrels. Therefore, Chicago in 5.

Red Sox vs. Angels: Winning 100 games just ain't what it used to be. The Anaheim team is built on a foundation of porridge and frozen guacamole. David Ortiz prefers the fresh kind, made at tableside at Dos Caminos. Mark Teixeira is nice but Kevin Youkilis shits bigger than him, three times a day. Lots of soluble fiber! Good avocados everywhere choose Boston in 3.

White Sox vs. Rays: This one's not even close. The best team in the playoffs versus the worst? Tampa Bay in 3.

NLCS: I would like to see 120 runs scored in a single postseason series. Our best hopes for that would be Cubs over Phillies in 7

ALCS: Four of the best ten teams in baseball played in the AL East this season. Two were left out of the playoffs entirely. The other two will win every single game at their home park. It's Rays over Red Sox in 7.

World Series: The Cubs put together the strongest team Kevin Kaduk has ever seen. Shame that it will all go down the drain at the hands of some two-bit expansion team. Tampa Bay in 7.


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11 Comments

Four of the best ten teams in baseball played in the AL East this season.

Oh get off the mic for christ's sake, Hank.

Both of you picked the Rays.

Well good news White Sox, you'll be winning it all.

I'm watching TBS right now and we just had our first Frank Caliendo promo of the postseason (not counting Game 163). Get my gun.

The Honeynut Ichiro Lead Pipe Lock Playoff Predictions:
Phillies in 4, Cubs in 4
Cubs in 6

Rays in 3, Angels in 5
Angels in 7

Champs - Angels in 6

I picked Rays over Cubs in May.

I read somewhere that Doc Severinsen once composed the score for a nudist-themed cult film. That would seem to favor Bob Uecker's Brewers. Doc lives in Mexico, which would seem to tie in to the Red Soxeseses' appreciation for proper guacamole, and I'm sure he regularly banged Joan Embry, so that's a good omen for the Dodgers.

@Rob -did they play an interleague series then?

@Gorge

That is certainly one of my favorite comments of the year.

Cubs in 5
Dodgers in 4
Angels in 5
Rays in 3

Cubs (4-2)
Angels (4-3)

Angels (4-2)

@UU

1. I don't think the Cubs and Dodgers can both advance.
2. You copied the rest of my picks. Copier.

@Honeynut, I meant that should have been Phils in 4 Cubs in 5. And I had no idea I copied all your picks.

Phillies in 3
Dodgers in 3
Rays in 4
Red Sox in 4

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