Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club: Brewers @ Phillies, NLDS Game One

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Oh my goodness, the playoffs are here! I feel so unprepared! I haven't had a chance to vacuum or sweep up the porch or anything! No matter, I suppose. We'll just take this liveglog down into my rec room, where you can spill beer and drop peanut shells on the garish industrial flooring without a second thought. That's what the wet/dry vac is for.

So our first tussle of the postseason pits the Philadelphia Phillies and the Milwaukee Brewers against each other in the first of a winner-takes-all series. Lefty stud Cole Hamels will face recently healed Yovani Gallardo; the lineups can be found on the MLB live page. Milwaukee is going with their standard "all righties except Prince Fielder" lineup while the Phillies counter with their standard "lineup". Yes, Pat Burrell's back problems weren't bad enough to keep the dude on the bench.

It's cloudy and about 70 degrees in Philly today; if you're at the ballpark reading this on your iPhone, please provide us with infrequent weather updates and Phanatic sightings. Thanks.

Your first playoff glog starts...after the jump:

2:50PM: I have the opportunity to CHOOSE my radio feed today, either the Milwaukee broadcast with Uecker or the Philadelphia broadcast with Kalas. Whatever shall I do?

2:55PM: Nevermind, I was completely wrong. One of the XM feeds is the ESPN Radio broadcast, featuring Michael Kay and Steve Phillips. Kill me now, I'm sticking with the home team call.

3:00PM: Michael Kay interviewed the two managers before the game started. He led off by saying to Dale Sveum, "A month ago you were a coach and now you're the manager. How does that feel?" Brilliant reporting, Kay.

3:05PM: You know, if I want to make hay by saying not-so-nice things about the radio announcers, perhaps I'd be better off sticking with the ESPN Radio feed. Chances that Phillips and Kay will piss me off five times an inning: 100%. About to get underway at CBP! Get happy, folks!

3:10PM: Hamels' first pitch to Mike Cameron is a high fastball. Cameron works a full count; Cole sits him down with a changeup. One away.

3:14PM: It feels weird listening to Michael Kay have contempt for a National League team. Normally, I am shaking my fist at him for being a real negative nelly during Yankees broadcasts on television. Bill Hall popped out to short, bringing up Ryan Braun. Hey, remember when Sports Illustrated put all the sophomore stars on the cover? Looks like Braun was the only one to avoid the jinx. Well, not right now, he struck out.

3:20PM: The Phillies will send up Jimmy Rollins, Jayson Werth and Chase Utley to face Gallardo. Rollins grounds out to someone Michael Kay called "Richie Weeks". One away. Werth strikes out swinging. Two away.

3:25PM: Utley lined out to end the first inning. Everyone's favorite Tofu Taster, Prince Fielder led off the second by striking out swinging. J.J. Hardy flies out for the second out, and Kay notices that there is lightning in the area. WEATHER UPDATE: THERE IS LIGHTNING IN THE AREA. Utley snares a Corey Hart grounder and it's a 1-2-3 inning again for Hamels.

3:30PM: The wind is blowing out. Water is beginning to fall from the sky in sprinkle format. Phillies fans are retreating for the hot dog stands. It's dark enough that you can no longer see downtown Philly from the announcing booth. Ryan Howard walks. Pat Burrell GIDPs, score that one 6-6-3. The rain increases in power.

3:35PM: Shane Victorino works a walk on four pitches. Gallardo is unnerved by water falling from the sky. After a couple pickoff attempts, Gallardo gets Feliz to ground out to send this thing to the third.

3:40PM: It's Weeks, Kendall and Gallardo here against Hamels. Weeks strikes out swinging, making him Cole Hamels' fourth K victim of the day. Kendall drills a deep one to left but it tails off foul. If Jason Kendall hits a ding-dong, you know with absolute certainty the wind is blowing out in a hitters' park. Nevermind, Kendall flew out to Victorino and Gallardo flew out to deep left.

3:45PM: Kay and Phillips claim that Gallardo's fly ball would totally have been a tater tot had the wind not 'kept it in the park'. I have no way of knowing if this is true, but I'm guessing it's Michael Kay's way of making up for his false sense of excitement when the bat was swung. Carlos Ruiz leads off the inning with a line drive single. Here comes Hamels to attempt a sac bunt. Bill Hall bobbles it, thinks about second, throws to second and Weeks drops it. Everyone is safe, except for the guy standing on the roof of the ballpark with a golf club. THERES LIGHTNING, Y'ALL.

3:50PM: Rollins chooses to swing away and flies out to left. Nobody advances. Michael Kay criticizes him for an unproductive at-bat. Gallardo gets Werth swinging to bring up Utley. Utley lines one to centerfield...Cameron catches it, falls to the ground...and DROPPED THE BALL! Two runs score! 2-0 Phillies.

3:55PM: That's ruled a double. Ryan Howard is intentionally walked, bringing up Pat Burrell. Michael Kay gets bored and begins to describe the Phillies and Brewers uniforms with exceptional detail. Well, exceptionally boring detail. If you don't know what the uniforms look like, look them up. Burrell draws a full count, and walks. The bases are bloated for Victorino.

4:00PM: The Flyin' Hawai'ian OPS'ed .889 with the bases loaded in 2008. Just six plate appearances, but whatever. Fella walks, and Utley is forced home to score a run. 3-0 Phils.

4:01PM: Things have fallen apart for Yovani. Kid's up to 60 pitches, but is able to induce Feliz into a fly ball out. End of three!

4:05PM: Mike Cameron grounds out to Utley to lead off the fourth. Bill Hall grounds out to Ryan Howard unassisted. Michael Kay does a live-read ad for the Mike & Mike show. I'd actually rather listen to those two Mikes call a spelling bee than listen to your blowhard radio show, Michael Kay. Braun pops out and we're done with three and a half innings.

4:10PM: Ruiz bunts back to the mound and is immediately thrown out by Gallardo. Helpful, Carlos. Helpful. Here's Hamels, who batted .224 on the year with zero walks. Patient, he is not. He strikes out swinging to fulfill the prophecy. Rollins picks up the two-out single.

4:13PM: Gallardo is nearing 80 pitches now. Here's Jayson Werth. He pops out to Fielder, and we're through four innings. Still 3-0 Phils.

4:15PM: ESPN Radio had another commercial for Mike & Mike in the Moaning. This one played back a phone-in spot from Peyton Manning about getting back on a winning streak. Completely related: Peyton Manning called into the Opie & Anthony show last week and neither party had any idea how to handle such a situation.

4:20PM: Fielder leads off the fifth by striking out. This is going to sound extraordinarily cruel, but can you imagine the sadness in Milwaukeetown if the Brewers trudge home this weekend having been blown out in the first two games of this series? Twenty-six years without playoffs and the first home playoff game they get might be a Phillies clincher. Nevermind, I'm getting ahead of myself in being a jerk. Hardy grounds out to second. Two down. Corey Hart lines a base hit to right, breaking up Hamels perfect game at the halfway mark.

4:23PM: Rickie Weeks goes down looking and Hamels sends his boys to the middle of the fifth with that three run lead intact.

4:25PM: Here's Mike and Mike doing a Carfax commercial. Whoever listens to ESPN Radio on a regular basis must either have really poor FM reception or a very, very strange fetish.

4:30PM: No double switch, but Ned Yost Dale Sveum brings in Mitch Stetter to pitch. Gallardo is D-U-N done. He went four innings and gave up no earned runs, but still walked five dudes and didn't really help the Brewers as much as they'd like. The lefty Stetter gets Utley to ground out to third. Stetter is pitching Howard away away away while the defense has taken the form of an infield shift. Howard strikes out swingin'.

4:32PM: Dale Sveum is putting all his cards on the table right away, bringing Carlos Villanueva in to pitch to Burrell. Craig Counsell comes in to hit in the ninespot while Villanueva replaces Weeks in the seven hole. I LOVE DOUBLE SWITCHES.

4:33PM: Bases empty, two outs. Nevermind, Burrell flies out to Braun to end the fifth.

4:40PM: Hamels starts the sixth off by striking out little Jason Kendall. That's seven strikeouts for Cole in five and one-third innings. At this rate, he'll have 348 K's by the end of the game. Wait, I think my calcumalator is borkened. Counsell lines a base hit to centerfield, continuing Craig Counsell's improbable string of postseason success.

4:45PM: Hamels lets Cameron get ahead 3-0 and ends up walking him on five pitches. Runners on first and second now with one out for Milwaukee. The Phillies infielders group on the mound to drop some positive vibes on Hamels and Michael Kay does another live-read ad for Mike & Mike. The vibes work, as Bill Hall strikes out swinging. Braun pops out and Hamels is out of trouble. Let's go to the bottom of the sixth!

4:50PM: Victorino flies out to right, no questions asked. Feliz flies out to right center. Still no questions asked. Kay and Phillips are chatting about the tendency of the White Sox to score on homers, wondering why they abandoned the small ball offense that won them the World Series in aught-five. Newsflash: they hit a lot of homers back then too. DIckheads. Ruiz grounds out to third, end of the sixth.

4:55PM: Fielder grounds out to his contemporary Ryan Howard to start the seventh. Hardy grounds out and Hart flies out. Seventh inning stretch time!


5:00PM: Rain is starting to fall again. Hamels is doing well enough to stay in the game and hit for hisself here in the bottom of the seventh. He strikes out though, so don't get your hopes up. Don't look now but Villanueva has retired five dudes in a row.

5:03PM: Make that six in a row as Rollins strikes out swinging....wait no, seven in a row...Werth struck out swinging too. Oh my stars and garters, the Brewers have a solid bullpen!

5:08PM: I'm hangin' on for the remainder of the game, folks. Tony Gwynn Jr pinch hits for Villanueva, drags a bunt past the pitcher, Utley charges and throws him out. New leftfielder: Eric Bruntlett takes over for Burrell. Four outs in a row for Hamels on six pitches, says Mike Kay. Our pal dmac screencapped the Chase Utley double, by the way.

5:09PM: Hamels strikes out Kendall swinging, his ninth K on the day. Here's the feisty Craig Counsell, who grounds out to third...we're through seven and a half!

5:15PM: I can see the finish line in this contest, which can only mean one thing: Dale Sveum is going to bring in enough relievers in the bottom of the eighth to stretch this game until 6PM. CTC's boyfriend Manny Parra is the new Brewers pitcher, replacing Gwynn in the lineup. Brad Lidge is warming up in the Philly pen. Chase Utley's long at-bat ends in a groundout.

5:20PM: Ryan Howard walks for the third time today. That's gonna happend when he bats in front of a gimpy Burrell and now a weak-hitting Bruntlett. Still, Bruntlett follows with a ground ball up the middle that Hardy bobbles...first and second now with one out.

5:27PM: Victorino chops one up the middle that Counsell snags and flips to Hardy. The relay to first is late and Shane is safe, no questions asked. Like I predicted, Sveum is going to the bullpen and bringing in Guillermo Mota. Zzzzzz. Kay and Phillips are bored enough to start chatting about the Red Sox. Runners on the corners with two outs here for Pedro Feliz....Victorino steals second with no throw by Kendall. Feliz pops to shallow right-center that Craig Counsell nabs with his web-gemmy powers. To the ninth!

5:32PM: It's official. Brad Lidge is in the game, replacing Cole Hamels in the lineup. Fella went all year without blowing a game. Let's see if he can maintain the streak in the postseason. Mike Cameron works the count full but strikes out looking. One down.

5:34PM: Ray Durham pinch hits for Bill Hall and lines a single to right.

5:37PM: Steve Phillips mentions that he would have liked for Lidge to have blown a save during the season because being perfect is no way to learn a lesson. Steve Phillips is an idiot. Ryan Braun hits a massive foul ball and the entire ballpark gasps. The count is full. Braun doubles down the line, Durham holds at third. The ball gets away from Utley and Durham scampers home. 3-1 Phillies.

5:38PM: Prince Fielder is 4-for-7 with two taters against Lidge in his career. Despite first base being wide open, Charlie Manuel decides to have Lidge pitch to Fielder. Eep.

5:42PM: Fielder works a full count, fouling off a couple pitches. And Lidge gets Prince Fielder to strike out swinging!

5:44PM: It's all up to J.J. Hardy, 0-for-3 on the day. The righty had 24 dongs on the year. Hardy gets ahead 3-1 on three sliders and a fastball. And Hardy walks to put the tying run on first.

5:47PM: Here's Corey Hart, and Lidge throws a wild pitch moving the runners up to second and third. Raise your hand if you've got agita. Lidge strikes out Hart! Game over! 3-1 Phillies despite some wildness on Brad Lidge's part. Thirty-five pitches and only nineteen of them were strikes. Thanks for joining our liveglog today, folks. See you later!


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122 Comments

What? NO UECKER?

No Uecker is blasphemy!

too bad I'm stuck in class for the first hour or so of the game T_T.

I am at my office, a couple miles from the stadium, and I would like to report that there is a slight drizzle falling. No word on whether it will move to CBP. I asked.

That's not the only thing the wet/dry vac is good for. I've been told.

Do we get new blazers to reflect the playoff glog?

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE BASEBALLS.

John Smoltz is in the broadcast booth for TBS. He was going to be in the booth, then they moved him to the postgame studio for a little bit, but they ultimately decided he was most valuable in the booth.

@ matt_t

We do, and they're tweed with leather elbow patches, to reflect the changing seasons.

Mine is leather with tweed elbow patches.

+1 Honeynut

@ Rob

"Correction, Marge. TWO perfectly good jackets."

Day playoff baseball! Beer!

Life = good.

Hee hee, Honeynut.

I'm on my couch, I've got my Pat Burrell "Man or Machine?" t-shirt on, I turned down the volume on the TV and I have the radio call on, and I'm high on liquid Tylenol.

LET'S DO THIS THING.

How ya feelin', Clare? Is the healing process coming along?

Other than the liquid Tylenol, I mean...

My God, Prince Fielder is fat. Like, I can't even say anything funny about it, he's just...so fat.

I'm doing better, Pete, thanks for asking. I'm not in much pain, but I have no energy.

I think his vegetarian diet consists solely of jalapeno poppers, fried okra, and corn nuggets.

Yovano Gallardo and Mike Gallego for Galliano: What the hoes sip

Did you see Chutley play that grounder?! Chase Utley, there's nothing you can't do. I bet you smell good and can parallel park in one try.

The rain at my office is falling much harder now. As are my productivity expectations for the afternoon.

Pete, I believe he is one of those "pork is a vegetable" vegetarians.

I was going to follow the game on that game day doohickey but this is a lot more fun.

Walking Howard isn't a bad idea. Turning a double play afterwards isn't bad either.

Wahoo, I have a friend like that and I call her "ba-curious."

Whatever rain they get should blow over quickly. Heavy rain just blew over my house (about 20 minutes south of the ballpark) and lasted about 10 minutes.

I am meatatarian, it's a personal choice

I got distracted by all the Romo/Simpson wedding talk. Did I miss anything?

/ducks

@Clare

Chase and his wife are big animal rights / adopt-a-pet advocates. It's as if he's actually trying to steal my wife from me.

You can't duck a kick in the nuts, PaleHos.

score that one 6-6-3.

Did he throw the ball to himself?

The wind is blowing out.

SO ARE THE DEAL'S AT CTC'S KRAZY FURNITURE DEPOT WE'VE GOT DIVANS, OTTOMANS AND BAR STOOLS AT FACTORY DIRECT PRICES.

I'M ALMOST GIVING THEM AWAY!

@CTC
Gallingly, Yovani Gallardo and Mike Gallego sip Galliano with Gaelic gals in Gaul.

How is Bon Jovi still "popular"? Who actually listens to his music?

@PeteJayhawk, sad sad women in their mid-30's to early 40's still love Jovi.

@Pete,
The people that live in Rob's state.

@Freetzy
I wonder who there favorite "father of modern science" is.

UpstateUnderdog, you mean the old "Me and me three remaining eggs crowd are glad to meet you"? types?

@bc
Since they're baseball players, there is 75% chance they don't even believe in dinosaurs.

Went from beer weather to whiskey weather real fast in Philly.

Nickname: "Cooch"? NO DUMMIES, IT'S CHOOCH, GET IT RIGHT.

Wahoo, it's always whiskey weather and I'll fight any man who claims otherwise. Mostly because of the whiskey.

@Wahoo, no I mean the "I know I'm not hot any more, but I'm still going to try to look hot" type.

The crowd you are talking about is probably listening to some weird indie band.

Cole turns the lineup over, wooooo!

@freetzy
You show me where in the bible they talk about dinosaurs

And the Brewers d plays like "retarded squirrels". *

* Iracane trademarked term

Thanks TBS, i had forgotten how Gallardo blew out his knee. Horrifying.

I always preferred the phrase "like monkeys humping a football".

@bc
If you drop a Bible and an orange (or, if you have one, a dinosaur egg) at the same time, they'll land at the same time.

Had you also forgotten that FrankTV is coming back soon? Be sure to thank TBS for that as well.

Are some of you people actually at home watching this?
GET JOBS YOU LAZY BUMS! MY TAX DOLLARS ARE PAYING FOR YOUR GOVERNMENT FINANCED MORTGAGE BAILOUT.... eventually.

Sack Lunch > Sac Bunt

I live near TBS headquarters, for the right price, I'll make sure there's no more Frank TV

Thank you for reminding me how much the Phillies sucked at the plate against the Rockies last year, TBS promo monkeys. I HAD BARELY FORGOTTEN.

Phils on the board

Mike Cameron: coming up short since 1995.

Rollins chooses to swing away and flies out to left.

LIAR

I like how tWWL GameCast shows the pitch count as 'intentional ball' on that walk to Howard. I need to figure out how to work the term 'intentional ball' into my innuendo repertoire.

@PaleHose

Hey, hey, hey. Some of us have the gift of television in our offices and get to be lazy bums at work.

PaleHos - One word: teabag.

Scott Franzke, the Phillies' radio guy, just pointed out that Pat Burrell is one of the only position players wearing long sleeves. Pat Burrell is a delicate flower!

@ ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

I think you just did.

Honeynut, you work in Center City? What do you do, anyway? And can you get me a job?

Wrong score and 6 innings too soon, damn you Gallado.

@The jayhawk brothers - A: What happens when John Kruk gets an intentional pass?

In the words of the seminal Philadelphia hip-hop group The Roots: Things fall apart.

For the Brewers. Now.

Right now if I were a Brewers fan I would rather have Rudy Galindo pitching than Gallado.

A three run third? I blame Omar Minaya. Break up the core of this team!

@Clare

Yes, I work "in media", and, according to the hiring freeze speech we just got, probably not.

And no, I don't work for a newspaper. Figured I'd clarify, as the words "hiring freeze" usually point to the Inky.

UU, I'd settle for Rudy Giuliani. He saved 9/11!

65 comments in the first hour of the liveglog. New record?

+1, UU.

@UU - I hear he has a hell of a backdoor screwball.

Read more about intentional balls.

thanks, CTC

Actually I'm a little embarrassed I know who Rudy Galindo is, but I defy any of you to turn down free "Stars on Ice" tickets.

ZOMG LOL @ TBS announcers saying that Ned Yost's firing caught everyone by surprise.

@Pete -
Was it Smoltz that said that?

Could have been, I wasn't really listening, it just grabbed my ear as if mocking me. Probably was, since he's a player and all and they never say anything critical about anyone ever.

And Yost was a longtime member on the Braves staff.

@Matt/Pete

It wasn't Smoltz, it was the generic sounding "Joe" dude that they have. His last name escapes me.

Is he the guy who sounds like Dr. Leo Spaceman?

neither party had any idea how to handle such a situation.

Cuckoo clock noise, haze the intern, talk about your bowel movements.

@Pete
PRECISELY. Wow, spot on, sir.

"really poor FM reception or a very, very strange fetish. "

I have both, but oddly enough, neither has anything to do with Mike or Mike.

It appears as though the surprised party is "16-year veteran broadcaster" Joe Simpson.

That explains it. Joe's a long time Braves announcer too. He also was surprised that Jimy Williams got fired.

He also was surprised that Jimy Williams got fired.

What?? Jimy Williams is the Phillies bench coach! Or he was the last time I checked...

@Honeynut- man, the guys a reverend, manages his daughter's careers, fluffs Tony Romo... where does he find the time?

/and that's my last Simpson/Romo comment, I swear

If TBS tells me that the wind knocks down one more ball, I am putting the SAP channel on. It simply can't be any worse.

Actually, Smoltzy is pretty good. He's the anti-Sutcliffe.

Who the fuck is that spiky black haired Frank supposed to be? Jesus I want to punch him in the vaginal area.

@Honeynut - I like my announcers (Sutcliffe) like I like my dates - drunk and bearded.
Wait... what?

If I were talking to him over the phone, Caliendo's impersonations might resonate. But I can see you, Frank. And you're fat. And you do impersonations of mostly skinny people. Shit ain't working, Frank.

Rich Little is spinning in his grave, and he sucked too.

God dammit I hate Craig Counsell

"...continuing Craig Counsell's improbable string of baseball success"

It's only 'improbable' because he looks like he's had a bat stuck up his ass for the last 10 years.

Yeah, I was wondering why the White Sox went away from their formula of having four dominant starters in their rotation, too. I mean, stick with what works.

This is sad.

Prince and C.C. are gonna take it out on the Sizzler buffet tonight

Colbert Michael Hamels, you better have a damn good explanation for those Supercuts highlights.

If Oakland's recent string of playoff runs at the beginning of the decade have taught me anything, it's that winning the first game or two of a best-of-five series guarantees victory. Brewers are dunzo.

He's a baseball player, Clare. It's what they do. On the bright side, he probably has the same IQ as said highlights.

TBS crew: "Thia year, Villanueva found his home in the Brewers bullpen."

And here I though Milwaukee real estate was affordable.

@Honeynut

Learn how to type.

The Brewers' defense is AWESOME.

JJ Hardy has flesh-colored tape on his wrist, so it looks like he has vitiligo under his watch band.

Guillermo Mota is coming in! An ex-Met! Yes! More runs for the Phils!

Requisite "they booed Santa Claus" reference checked off by Michael Kay.

Oh, I hate you Craig Counsell and your fake Willie Mays over the shoulder catch.

Ex-Giant Pedro Feliz has an O-fer. Just what I'd expect outta him when it counts.

According to TBS: Fielder (who is on deck) lifetime vs. Lidge: 4-7, 2 HR

Please get Braun out. K THX.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK DON'T DO THIS NOW BRAD FUCK FUCK FUCK

Michael Kay is suggesting the Phils intentionally walk Fielder. Michael Kay is an idiot.

The ball gets away from Utley

That doesn't quite accurately describe it. Utley had the grace of a newborn foal on that play.

I think the Chinese character on Fielder's neck says "General Tso".

Nice swing Ciecil. That's why your father hated you.

Lidge isn't making this easy.

Hardy just swung at a pitch in the dirt, and TBS' crew would have me believe that the rain and wind played a factor. Huh? It was a slider.

Not get all FMRA, but that JJ Hardy is a good looking dude. Corey Hart on the other hand, that's a different story.

The pitch gets away from Ruiz, and the tying run is in scoring position. In other news, my desk makes a hollow noise when you punch it.

YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Playoff victory tastes even sweeter when it's been aged for 15 years.

@Honeynut: I have such an inappropriate retort to that but I will keep it to myself.

Raise your hand if you've got agita.

I've got a bottle of Rolaids at the ready for tomorrow.

@Rob

Uncle Paul, er, I made that comment specifically with that retort in mind.

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