Wednesday Night Liveglog Club: World Series Game Five (Cont.)

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Welcome back, folks! It's the bottom of the sixth, Grant Balfour is on the mound, Charlie Manuel is deciding on a pinch hitter, and Overmanagin' Joe Maddon has scripted his plans for the remainder of the game as if there were some Euripidean tragedy (hint: it's not Euripidean, it's got more Sophoclean irony than anything).

Consider yourself lucky if you're reading this glog and watching the game because most folks just don't care. That's their problem, though, because this World Series has been fun and competitive, despite the weather delays and low ratings. Low ratings? Who cares! Not my money!

If you missed Monday night's action and need to catch up, take a peek at this epic liveglog with some of the best comments we've ever received. Enough chit-chat! Let's get to it, gloggers!

8:30PM: Well that was some moving piece of Obamapropaganda! What, you couldn't afford to broadcast that in high definition? Enough politickin', let's see some baseball!

8:33PM: Eat shit, Jeanne Zelasko, we don't need no stinkin' pre-game show tonight. If I never have to hear Eric Karros' speech impediment again, I'll be a happy boy.

8:36PM: The difference really is drinkability. Because the quality I look for in beer is the speed at which I can pour it down my esophagus.

8:39PM: Okay, it's Geoff Jenkins. I was completely wrong.

8:42PM: The moment has already passed but I just want to let you know that I think Charlie Manuel sent Jenkins up there with the expectation that Maddon would pull Balfour and bring in a lefty, at which point Manuel would pinch hit with a righty. Doesn't matter now because Jenkins just doubled.

8:45PM: Yes, the bunt was perfect but that doesn't mean the idea of bunting was perfect. It's only the sixth inning! And the best Phillies hitters are up!

8:48PM: According to Fangraphs, Geoff Jenkins increased the Phillies' odds of winning by 9% and Jimmy Rollins' sac bunt decreased the Phillies' odds of winning by 1%. Iwamura just increased the odds that Joe Maddon gets agita by 150%. 3-2 Phillies.

8:50PM: In other news, Joe Maddon actually undermanaged for once in his life. Shoulda brought in that lefty, you hipster doofus!

8:53PM: Howell struck out Utley in Game Three, but Utley singled off him in Game One.

8:54PM: Howell wins again. Here comes Ryan Howard, who doesn't stand a ghost of a chance. He's struck out twice in two at-bats against Howell. Werth scampers down to second.

8:56PM: No time for clever inning graphics tonight, Dr. Jones. Let's get this game moving to the seventh inning!

8:59PM: Cole Hamels wants perfection. Who can blame him? He's been the most valuable Phillies player since August.

9:00PM: Madson picks up the inside corner and sends Navarro back to the dugout. Hey, it's Rocco time!

9:01PM: Rocco just tied this sucker up. Somewhere, someone is giddy on Bloor Street. 3-3 tie.

9:03PM: That tenuous one run lead didn't last very long. Maybe next time, Charlie Manuel won't give away outs so freely.

9:05PM: Anyone else just get the feeling that we may be seeing nine innings of baseball tonight after all? No? Just me?

9:07PM: Leave Rocco's mitochondria alone, Joe Buck! Hey, it's lefty and former Twin J.C. Romero.

9:08PM: WOW WHAT A PLAY BY UTLEY!

9:10PM: I just realized that it is impossible to predict what's going to happen in baseball. This eye-opening moment has been brought to you by red wine, getting Rob Iracane drunk since 1997.

9:12PM: Pat Burrell's leadoff double just led to at least 37 impregnations in the Delaware Valley.

9:15PM: Change pitchers all you want, Joe Maddon! I've got all the time in the world tonight!

9:17PM: Eat shit, McCarver, there's no way Pat Burrell triples on that one. News flash: he WAS hustling his buns. Kid's just slow!

9:18PM: Charlie Manuel continues to give up outs for runner advancement. Heck, even McCarver called him out on it!

9:20PM: Okay, Shane Victorino grounds out but advances the runner. I approve begrudgingly.

9:21PM: Send this to the outfield and you will be a hero in Philadelphia, Pedro Feliz.

9:22PM: Best case scenario: there is one run scored in every half inning tonight with the final run scored in a shrimp situation.

9:23PM: Iwamura does his best Chase Utley impression and snags Feliz at second.

9:25PM: Charlie Manuel totally hearts J.C. Romero because why else would he let the guy bat in that situation? Neutralize those lefties, or face the ire of a million angry Philadelphians, Mr. Romero.

9:27PM: The Phillies' win probability is back up to 74% after the run. Let's see what Romero can do to move that number, one way or another.

9:29PM: Carl Crawford giveth, B.J Upton taketh away. Shame, he's my favorite Emerging Young Star in baseball! The GIDP gives the Phillies a huge injection in WPA.

9:31PM: Inexplicably, Pena flies out to left after going ahead 3-0. I don't get this game, not one bit. Things is crazy, y'all.

9:33PM: Folks, if your friends or family members aren't watching right now, tell them what they're missing, and get them to turn on the game. Unless, of course, they're in jail.

9:36PM: Joe Maddon double switches Carlos Pena right outta the game. Hey, it's Baseball Obama!

9:38PM: Baseball Obama gets Rollins to fly out. Hey, a montage of Philadelphia sports championship droughts! TIMELY!

9:40PM: Jonah Keri informs me that Baseball Obama's favorite book is Charlotte's Web. Hey, they can't all be Rhodes Scholars.

9:42PM: Chase Utley finagles a walk. Nothing is automatic, says Joe Buck. THAT'S WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY!

9:44PM: Utley steals a base with ease, but again: Ryan Howard doesn't hit lefties, so the stolen bases mean nothing.

9:46PM: If anyone says something dumb like "Brad Lidge is under more pressure because he's been perfect all season," I am going to shit a brick and then throw the brick through my TV set.

9:48PM: I'm being completely straightforward when I praise FOX for giving us a brief glimpse at each batter's record against Lidge. Good work.

9:50PM: Longoria pops out. One down.

9:52PM: Navarro sacrifices the lumber and loops a single to right. Columbia University alum Fernando Perez will pinch run and Ben Zobrist will pinch hit. TENUOUS!

9:54PM: Perez is fast, and smart.

9:56PM: Jayson proves his Werth by being in the right (field) place at the right time. Zing!

9:58PM: It all comes down to Eric Hinske. Just like everything else in Joe Maddon's life.

10:00PM: It's all over now, Baby Blue! PHILLIES ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:01PM: I LOVE THE PHANATIC!

10:02PM: HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS, PHILLIES FANS?!?!?

10:04PM: Well, that'll just about do it for liveglogs this year. Thanks so very much to our readers and commenters. You guys make this stuff happen. Without you, this blog would have ended in March.


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78 Comments

Really, this is a completely insane occurrence and we should all appreciate it because no way this ever happens again. Now let's get to the middle of the 6th inning!

Forget the middle, gimme the bottom!

Ah, you're just used to saying that.

Sorry guys. We're gonna have to play the season over because Bud left the PlayStation near the microwave and now the save data's corrupted.

Oh my fricking lord. Jenkins foreshadows a kickass game... hopefully.

Baldelli's mighty mito's just weren't quick enough.

Jenkins foreshadows a kickass BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH, if there's a God in the sky.

Grant Balfour looks like Karl Ravech. I think Ravech might be a better pitching option right now.

Squirrelface!!

yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

Call the game!

I wonder if hipster Joe Maddon likes the new Ryan Adams?

Squirrelfaaaaaaaace!

Hey, Howard hit a breaking ball! Progress!

Did Joe just imply a special relationship between Jenkins and Balfour?

Jayson Werth looks kinda like Taylor Hawkinsof the Foo Fighters

Joe Maddon only listens to "Heartbreaker"

I wouldn't call sloppy post-BP coitus "special."

nonononononononononononononono

Rocco!

Lloyd has a Baldeli Boner

Baldelli's mighty mito's prove me wrong.

Did Tim just draw a penis?

Way to move the guy out of the way so you could make your dramatic out call you dick bag ump

Clearly the entertainment knob has been dialed way the fuck up.

Half the guys on these two rosters are former twins

Did somebody say KNOB?

FUCK THE GATORS

Burrell displayed the speed of a 95 year old paraplegic there.

My 80 year old gradma could have made it to third on that hit

"Pat Burrell's leadoff double just led to at least 37 impregnations in the Delaware Valley."

And somehow, Pat the Bat is responsible for 9 of them.

@UTFLW
A 95 year old paraplegic with mitochondria

Hey, Phillies, feel free to take a pitch. You know, feel the guy out.

Right you are, bc.

how long until buck or tim refers to this as a 'boxing match up'

For a minute, I appreciated the utilitarian aspects of these earflap caps. Now I am fully on board with imposing an outright ban on them. They just look dumb.

And hey, the Rocky music! That's so funny, I was just listening to that!

I hope JC Romero has the Eye of the Tiger tonight.

Man, Crawford really Clubbered that ball into center. Good thing the Phils turned two. Make 'em cry Uncle (paulie), JC!

The chanting of the players name is awesome

Says Romero to the Phillies championship-less streak: "I must break you."

Three outs and it's over. Come on, let's not Drago this series on any longer.

HOW CAN YOU LIVE LIKE THIS

"YOU WILL LOOSE"

Unless, of course, they're in jail.

Whoops

"Unless, of course, they're in jail."

Was that comment directed at Farthammer?

It's almost like the Rocky corollary is part of the broadcast networks' Creed.

Either way, this game is moving along so fast, it's like the innings were shot out of a Tommy Gunn.

I am too drunk to spell

I'm just waiting for FOX to drag Burgess Meredith's corpse out and parade it around. Chris Myers can interview it.

The score keeps changing. If it can change, then we all can change.

I'm pretty sure I just heard a mention of the Red Sox curse from Chris Myers' Thunderlips

Man, the networks love their curses, don't they? If Houston and Baltimore meet up ext year, will we hear about the Astro curse of Tanner Boyle? The Oriole Old Bay jinx?

The Orioles' curse is based solely on that ambulance chasin' owner of theirs.

Rob needs more fiber.

The crowd noise is awesome.

Ah, my liveglogging dashboard is borkened!

The Usses are storming the gate!

I was on the subway when Rocco hit his homerun.

My resignation will be wrapped in a cakie and thrown through the windows at WOW headquarters in the morning.

Also, pinch hitting for Rocco = YOU FUCKING LOSE.

The Rays with their hats and masks on look like Cobra Commander

Congratulations Honeynut and all other Phillies fans! Boo offseason!

Wheeeee ffireworks!!!!

Victory Cakies for Honeynut!

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I want to see Brett Myers in tears.

CONGRATULATIONS HONEYNUT!!!!!!

Seeing the Phanatic wave a championship flag was neat. I think Ryan Howard killed lidge with that tackle

Congrats Phillies!! Boo offseason!

Karma is a bitch Overmanagin Joe Maddon

These guys are our Rivals but this is cool. Good stuff. Good job rob and kris on a fun season

Now what do we do

I love WoW. Goodnight, everyone...

HEY DON'T FORGET CLARE SHE WINS TONIGHT TOO.

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Indeed, great blogging and glogging, proprietors of WoW. Keep it coming in the offseason before the predictable sophomore slump.

Thanks Rob.
Thanks CTC.
Thanks LtB.
Good to see Philly fans rejoice.
Dinnertime!

Lloyd is right the offseason sucks.

The inception of WoW and the Phillies' first championship is 28 years... I mean, this is easily the greatest baseball season ever.

Thanks Rob and Kris and Lloyd and Darren and DMac and Duk and Tuffy and everyone else who has anything to do with this site.

I guarantee we will post with amazing frequency in the offseason. This is not goodbye!

Lloyd you too!

First order of business for the Phillies Champeenship is to watch Tivo'd "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

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