Weekend Answers to Questions Nobody Asked

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sunrise.jpgEach weekend during the playoffs, I'll attempt to answer some questions about the playoff games that absolutely nobody asked or ever would ask. This could be fun and uninformative or this could be painful and uninformative. Either way, it's another listicle in the listicle-ful sportsblogosphere.

Sweet Fancy Moses! Two LCS games in one day??? Whatever have we done to deserve such bounty? The early game was full of fireworky goodness, with Manny dongs and hitting pitchers. Bascially everything you look for in a baseball game. The nightcap was a pitchers duel of the highest order. Well played, defense, all that good stuff we're supposed to like.

Weekend mornings don't often find us with the clearest of minds, and I'm not as astute as Rob, so this mornings questions will skew more towards "the human condition" than "baseball". Rhetoric ho!

  • Is it at all possible to feel comfortable during a Dice-K start? Absolutely not. He's pitching a no-hitter, he's walking the bases loaded. He's giving up consecutive hits yet stranding them all. I believe the stress is equally split between each team. Rays fans keep thinking this is the inning they break through, until they don't. The normally balanced and perspective-laden Red Sox fans just wait for the other shoe to drop all game long. At least he's not boring!

  • Why can't Ryan Howard hit a curveball? I wish I knew. The Dodgers fed him a steady diet of nothing, and every time he quickly returned to the waiting room. Dude is rocking a sub .500 OPS in the playoffs, but the Phillies are winning all the same. He's struggling, and it ain't pretty.

  • What is the most annoying sound in the world? Cowbells. So. Many. Cowbells. Make them stop. They will haunt my dreams. Watching the Phillies/Dodgers game was great because the crowd at CBP was AWESOME. The early rallies had them roaring like an international soccer crowd. Fox's myriad of microphones picked up every shout and cry, really adding to the sense of atmosphere, which I enjoyed. Somehow, I can't see Dodger Stadium bringing the same kind of intensity.

  • Is 3.5 hours an acceptable length for a baseball game? Not remotely. The NLCS game featured lots of early offense but the late innings went by at a decent clip. The patient Red Sox and the wacky Matsuzaka drew out a 2-0 game to that same extended length. Will a not-quite on Josh Beckett and the normally wild Scott Kazmir get in under 4 hours? I have my doubts.
Only one game tonight, and I'll be here to live glog the living shit out of it. Maybe we'll even have something to look at between now and then.

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Dice-K is like the Far Eastern version of Brad Lidge, except more expensive and less prone to a Pujols-ian fail.

"Why can't Ryan Howard can't hit a curveball?"

So...he can hit a curveball?

Why can't LtB type, spell, or think? That is a better question

So no one else thought the "Beat LA" chant was 70 kinds of lame?

The "Beat LA" chant was lame, but aside from that the crowd was great.

"Beat LA" chants are so stupid.
/SF hypocrite

I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time with this, but I have an agenda to push.

IT ISN'T just a game here in Angryville, but a violent attitude to determine who is really tougher. Before Game 2, they showed previous playoff highlights between the Dodgers and Phillies to the sound of Edwin Starr singing "War."

Yeah, Tool, M.O.P., and Rage Against the Machine ain't got shit on Edwin Starr, know across the land as the most violent Motown artist evar. I listen to Agent Double-O Soul while I lift.

A couple of weeks ago, the Philadelphia police bomb squad was called to the ballpark to detonate three suspicious packages. Turns out the packages were leftover hot dogs...Around here, you can never be too careful.

Yeah, Philly is alone in their response to harmless yet suspicious looking packages. That never happens anywhere else.

Finally, this tidbit:
In fact, if the Phillies win the World Series, it will be interesting to see if the locals burn the place down. And if anyone really tries to stop them.

TJ Simers has never heard of or been to Boston, Montreal, Vancouver, Columbus, East Lansing, Detroit, or, apparently, Los Angeles.

Also, that article gave us this quote, which may be the best thing Manny has done in LA yet:
(regarding his 3-run HR)"No, I was just screaming 'agh, rah, agh, rah.' I was just so happy I hit it," Ramirez said.

damn you Honeynut, stealing my afternoon thunder

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