Weekend Answers to Questions Nobody Asked

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sunrise.jpgEach weekend during the playoffs, I'll attempt to answer some questions about the playoff games that absolutely nobody asked or ever would ask. This could be fun and uninformative or this could be painful and uninformative. Either way, it's another listicle in the listicle-ful sportsblogosphere.

Playoff baseball brings out the best in some of our favorite baseball heroes. Playoff baseball and whiskey bring the drunken late-night posts out of our favorite baseball nerds. The Rays kept the proud Floridian tradition of mimicking California's every move by jumping out to a 2-0 series lead against Chicago-based opponents. The Red Sox continued bamboozling and exposing the Angels, taking a 2-0 series lead from the world greatest closer.

Weekend mornings don't often find us with the clearest of minds, and I'm not as astute as Rob, so this mornings questions will skew more towards "the human condition" than "baseball". Rhetoric ho!

  • Which player really wants a do-over on the first inning? Despite getting the first two outs quickly, Ervin Santana learned the Red Sox 3-4-5 hitters pack a little more punch than Ibanez, Beltre and Lopez. Bloop, bloop, blast, blast and it was 4-0. Scott Kazmir's perfectly Kazmiric first inning (full count a go-go!) was a distant second.

  • Which player's annoying tick made you pray for death? Watching him pitch in and out of trouble might shorten lives in New England, but Daisuke's Matsuzaka's need to align the spirits and ghosts between pitches had me considering my options. Even stoic Garrett Anderson looked visibly bored and impatient while standing in the box for untold seconds. A.J. Pierzynski's uncanny ability to be A.J. Pierzynski is the first runner up.

  • Which player unveiled a hidden ocean of awesomeness? Forced into action by a freak injury, Willy Aybar has playoff hero potential in spades. He strikes me as guy that could figure prominently in a long Rays run, only to bounce around the league for a few mediocre years thanks to three good weeks. Runner up: Jose Arrendondo. Closer in waiting? Needs a sack dance first.

  • What happens if the Sox big bats stay small in the cold? Without the tater-tot offense, the Sox go from playoff team to this in a hurry. If the Rays are going to put them on, they need to cool it with the station-to-station nonsense and hit some dingers.

  • Which player overcame a freaky disease to score from first on a Texas Leaguer? Why Rocco Baldelli of course. Runner up: Nobody. Not enough heart!
No afternoon games because Bud Selig hates children, but stop by for some fun in the meantime.

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Full Count A-Go-Go was the one where Peter Fonda was a minor league baseball player reluctant to yield to authority in the turbulent 60s. They were politically charged times, and he was going to go down swinging.

Sparky Anderson played his dad.

College Football is boring. Baseball, please.

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