What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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  • Carlos Pena, Rays: Pena left Tampa's game yesterday with blurry vision, the result of him accidentally scratching his eye. I told him not to grow his nails out, but he was adamant about learning classical guitar. Something about the rhythm of the Pyrenees or something like that.

  • Johan Santana, Mets: Santana's stellar second half looks even more amazing now in light of him having knee surgery this week. Yo had a torn meniscus this whole time. That... is impressive. I had knee surgery this past winter and I had to hire someone on craigslist to cut my food for me.

  • Ben Sheets, Brewers: Sheets is out for the rest of the playoffs with a torn muscle in his arm. It's really not as severe as it sounds though. I mean he'll only miss one game. Eat a canned ham, Brewers fans.

  • Terry Steinbach, A's: Raped by a wallaby.

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Eat a canned ham, Brewers fans.

In 'Sconsin, it's haute cuisine. They batter it, dip it in cheese, batter it again, and deep fry the whole mess. It's called Layers of Death.

That craigslist post was answered by a lonely Rob Iracane, and thus began a relationship that would forever change the world of blogging.

And the wallaby returns. Sheets was sucking lately, it's not that bad of a loss really.

Oh, and CTC, at least we made the playoffs... wait, it's not rob doing it so I can't razz him for the yankees not making it, oh wait, I just did.

oooooooooooooooooo sick burn

"I had to hire someone on craigslist to cut my food for me."

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Dammit Carlos - have you learned nothing from Esteban?!!

Joe Maddon just really likes Andres Segovia, and Carlos wanted to please the boss. Maddon put Segovia's "five purposes" up all over the clubhouse. Nothing inspires a ballplayer like:

2. This was the second of my purposes: to create a wonderful repertoire for my instrument. -- Andres Segovia

Shit. Johan Santana has just become the poster child for Grit. Fuck David Eckstein.

I now fully expect Santana to fight Anderson Silva in UFC 93, a week before the season starts or something. And winning by TKO in 18 seconds.

The BBWA would like you to know that "grit" = "slow, white and not that good"? They have a detailed pamphlet they can fax over to you that explains the whole darned thing.

Should I have gone with Gutsy? Or perhaps Warrior?

Meh, how does a meniuscus help with pitching? How about that Abbott geezer, No hitter with one hand. That's gutsy. Santana SHOULD be pitching with pain, the creampuff.

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