I'm sick of jinxing Mike Lowell in this space, so this week it's an all non-playoff Creampuff. Which is hilarious because there's a Cubs player on here.
Omar Vizquel, Lonely: Omar Vizquel had an old guy surgery that 'Im pretty sure I've used as a punchline here before. Homey had laser eye surgery. Teehee. To compound matters, Brian Sabean says there is "zero" chance the Giants will bring him back next year. There may still be a market in the NL for a shortstop that wears these. So don't fret, yet Omar.
Carlos Marmol, Cubs: This week on Carlos & Cousins Carlos and one of the cousins get t-boned by a pickup truck! Arooogah! That's gonna leave a mark! Or just what Marmol is calling an "inflammation" on his head. Maybe he should rub these on it.
Ambiorix Burgos, Mets: I'm just gonna copy and paste from the ESPN injury report on this one: "Comment: Burgos (elbow) will be jailed for three months while he awaits trial for a hit-and-run accident that killed two women, the Associated Press reports." That is one dangerous elbow injury.
- Mariano Rivera, Yankees: