I'm sick of jinxing Mike Lowell in this space, so this week it's an all non-playoff Creampuff. Which is hilarious because there's a Cubs player on here.
Sandman had
a calicfied joint in his shoulder shaved off. No word on if the surgery was done by Derek Jeter with a Gilette Fusion while Tiger Woods and Roger Federer stood by in queer black suits. Rivera is expected to be throwing again in about 3 months. SO ARE THE REST OF THE YANKEES. LOL +1
Omar Vizquel, Lonely: Omar Vizquel had an old guy surgery that 'Im pretty sure I've used as a punchline here before. Homey had
laser eye surgery. Teehee. To compound matters, Brian Sabean says there is "zero" chance the Giants will bring him back next year. There may still be a market in the NL for a shortstop that wears
these. So don't fret, yet Omar.
Carlos Marmol, Cubs: This week on
Carlos & Cousins Carlos and one of the cousins get
t-boned by a pickup truck! Arooogah! That's gonna leave a mark! Or just what Marmol is calling an "inflammation" on his head. Maybe he should
rub these on it.
Ambiorix Burgos, Mets: I'm just gonna copy and paste from the ESPN injury report on this one: "Comment: Burgos (elbow) will be jailed for three months while he awaits trial for a hit-and-run accident that killed two women, the Associated Press reports." That is one dangerous elbow injury.
The last time I ran over a bitch, I totally sprained my thumb so I absolutely feel Ambrosia's pain.
Bye Omar. I'll miss seeing you at the ballpark.
Omar just misses seeing.
The Fightins had a friggin awesome picture of Ambiorix on his way to court.
Quack quack, indeed.
Decapitate model, Creampuff T-shirt: Dude's got a pair of nasty gray moles on his right arm. He should really get those checked out by his dermatologist.