What's Up Creampuff: Dudes Who Had Or Are Having Surgery This Week

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It's time to get the scalpel and surgical mask out of your sex toy basket and head with me to the OR. Baseball players are getting carved up left and right. DIBS ON THE DRUMSTICK.

  • Mike Lowell, Red Sox: Hip surgery coming Monday.

  • Ken Griffey Jr., White Sox: Ken is getting his knee scoped by Dr. Tim Kremchek. KREMCHEK! GET IN HERE! Send cards to his mom.

  • Travis Hafner, Indians: This knuckle dragging jamook had arthroscopic shoulder surgery. Must be from all the knuckle dragging, lol+1.

  • Albert Pujols, Cardinals: You ever notice how in "Every Breath You Take" it sounds like Sting says "Albert Pujols aaaches with every step yoooou take." I noticed it his rookie year. It was actually the first thing I thought of when I heard his name. Really. Anyway, he had elbow surgery this week. So now he really does ache.

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You ever notice...

Now blogging for Walkoff Walk, Andy Rooney!

And what's up with all of these sports hernias, lately, anyway? I always thought you got a hernia from LIFTING something HEAVY. What's so heavy about a football, or a baseball? I'd just as soon call it a groin injury, or a strain, before I called it a hernia. Maybe DOCTORS needs to make up new names for old injuries, just so they feel better about themselves.

/Camp Rooney Claw

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