Yankees Fans Are Awesome at Crime, Bad at Math and Spellin'

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Red Sox Nation governor of North Carolina Sean Bunn went out to his local watering hole last Wednesday night to watch his beloved Red Sox fall flat on their faces in a tough Game Four loss to the Rays. He came home to find his condo had been vandalized, seemingly by a Yankees fan with a cruel sense of humor.

All of his Red Sox memorabilia was vandalized. His antique furniture was vandalized. His 2004 World Series commemorative plates with images of Curt Schilling and Jonathan Papelbon locked in a lusty embrace were shattered. His Jim Rice Fathead and his Johnny Pesky Fathead were re-arranged to look like they were engaged in an unspeakable interracial tryst. Pinstripes and interlocking NY's were spray painted in his condo, and the uniform numbers of Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez were spray painted on the backs of his dress shirts.

Worst of all, the vandal simply can't count or spell:

In a destructive nod to history, the vandal or vandals painted "26-3" on one wall -- apparently a botched reference to the Yankees' number of World Series championships relative to those won by the Red Sox. Bryan Richardson, 33, a friend of Bunn's who helps organize Triangle Red Sox Nation events, believes the clues point to someone who isn't a lifelong Yankees fan.

"I don't think it's a typical fan at all, because they know how to spell 'Yankees,' " Richardson said in a telephone interview, referring to the "Yankes" painted on one wall. "It's probably somebody who was not brought up a Yankee fan, maybe a young kid in high school or college who doesn't understand the whole history."

Wait, was that a jab at Yankees fans? I don't understand North Cackalackians' feeble attempt at humor.

(We owe an entire Coke distributorship to the folks at BBTF Newsblog)

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Someone has to stop Joba on his current crime streak

Not mentioned: Ken Phelps going top shelf.

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