Nine Offensive Rookies With Awesome Names for Aught-Nine

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This is by no means a complete list nor are these players necessarily the top prospects at their respective positions nor are they guaranteed to get spots on Opening Day rosters. Still, all of these positional players share one important thing in common: they have memorable and unique names. Look for these youngsters on your favorite team's depth chart next Spring!

  1. Taylor Teagarden, Texas, C: Drafted in 2005, Taylor is part of the Texas catcher clusterf**k, seemingly behind Gerald Laird and Jarrod Saltalamacchia, and even with Max Ramirez in the depth chart. Still, he clobbered six tater tots in just 47 at-bats with the big club last year and the Rangers plan on trading the other guys for some pitching help. Expect Teagarden in the Opening Day lineup.

  2. Kyle Blanks, San Diego, 1B: Walkoff Walk's favorite prospect, Blanks tore up the AA Texas League this year with 20 dongs, 107 RBI and a .918 OPS. He's tall (6'7") and has fantastic hair. First baseman Adrian Gonzalez stands in Kyle's way of leapfrogging Triple-A and making the Padres roster in '09, but expect him to make noise if Gonzalez gets traded in the Great Padres Offseason Restructuring Event.

  3. Chris Getz, Chicago (AL), 2B: Getz should compete with Jayson Nix for the starting job for the White Sox next year. With everyone's favorite teammate Orlando Cabrera moving on to greener pastures, expect Alexei Ramirez to slide over to shortstop. To be sure, he's no star, but whatever Chris wants, Chris Getz.

  4. Elvis Andrus, Texas, SS Some folks already think Andrus is good enough to bump Michael Young off the Rangers depth chart. I think the only way Andrus makes the squad on Opening Day is if they trade away Young to get some middling power pitcher that Nolan Ryan will attempt to transform into...well...a young Nolan Ryan. He's a former Braves prospect, signed out of Venezuela and then traded away in that Mark Teixeira deal.

  5. Matt Tuiasosopo, Seattle, 3B: Okay, the Mariners already have the huge contract of Adrian Beltre weighing down their necks for one more year, but hear me out. Maybe the Mariners could trade Beltre at the deadline to a desperate contender and then bring up Tuiasosopo to play third. He's a Bellevue, Washington native and brother of Oakland Raiders QB Marques Tuiasosopo (but don't hold that against him).

  6. Kila Ka'aihue, Kansas City, DH: He's a slugger with not much of a glove and will probably be stuck fighting for roster space with Billy Butler, Mike Jacobs, Ross Gload, Ryan Shealy, and the ghost of Willie Aikens. Still, Hawaiian baseball players are all the rage and should always be considered if only for the marketing angle, no questions asked.

  7. Nolan Reimold, Baltimore, OF: A power-hitting righty, he was drafted in '05 out of Bowling Green and is currently heating up the Arizona Fall League. With Adam Jones, Luke Scott and Nick Markakis firmly entrenched in the Orioles outfield (not literally, that would make it hard to field pop-ups), expect Reimold to make the team as a fourth outfielder for the 2009 season.

  8. Travis Snider, Toronto, OF: He's more than ten years younger than me and good enough that Blue Jays bloggers are already offering up their sisters to the kid. Expect him to battle Adam Lind for the starting left field job for the Blue Jays, unless, of course, the Jays sign Rocco. Then, shit is all crazy.

  9. Andrew McCutchen, Pittsburgh, OF: Some folks compare him to Rickey Henderson. That's a good thing, for sure. He's the Pirates #1 prospect and one of the top 20 future stars in the minors. With a little bit more discipline on the basepaths and a little less organizational faith in Nyjer Morgan, young Andrew will absolutely be the starting center fielder for the Pirates in 2009.

So, who did we miss from your favorite team's farm system?

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No love for Matt "The Door" LaPorta? I hear he's huge in Mexico.

He was a stud in the Brewers system but a dud in Akron. He's so over.

I like Amaury Marti simply because Future Redbirds have a list of Chuck Norris-like facts about him.

I cannot wait for all the witty Elvis has left the building calls when Andrus hits taters

here's hoping Chris Getz the starting job.. I really like what i saw from him this season, He could add some spunk to the lineup.. speaking of, I wonder if Chris Getz a lot of action... Seriously, the possibilities are endless with this kid and his name.

Whatever Leo wants...

I just cursed all these players. They'll all end up being traded to the Nationals by 2011.

From 'Top Prospects' to 'Player to be Named Later': The Rob Iracane Curse

If they are cheap enough, they can come to the Fremont A's.

You will be sorry you forgot Tuffy Goosewich from the Phillies system!

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