Oversized Sportswriters Name Undersized Dustin Pedroia AL MVP

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Dustin Pedroia is a sprite. He's a little, miniature doll of a baseball player. He's scrappy and he has elfish features and tries to hide the fact that he's so adorable by growing out his scruffy facial stubble. He's barely 5'7", which means that he's half a foot shorter than the average baseball player and the same height as me, and probably the same height of most sportswriters across this great land. Which is why I claim that most sportswriters probably take a look at this kid and say to themselves, "Hey, this Dustin Pedroia kid overcame his teeny frame and put up some great numbers for a playoff team...let's name him MVP!" So they did.

Pedroia (Adjusted OPS+ of 122) beat out such notable baseballers as teammate Kevin Youkilis (143), frequent MVP club member Alex Rodriguez (150), and sideburn-laden catcher hunk Joe Mauer (137) because he was scrappy and hustled a lot. He played some mean second base defense and frequently walked around with a dirty uniform because he was constantly divin' and slidin' and yellin' and just basically being intense.

But enough of my sarcasm, Dustin Pedroia had a wicked good year for a second basemen, and I mean that in a historical sense. He set the Red Sox record for most hits, doubles, runs, total bases, and extra-base hits by a second baseman, and even got hisself a Gold Glove, becoming only the third Red Sox middle infielder to snatch that award.

Notable voting results: K-Rod picked up just one first place vote and finished in sixth place, while Rays team MVP Jason Bartlett got just one vote, and it was a fifth place vote. Who the heck did that? Also, someone left Joe Mauer, my AL MVP pick, completely off their ballot. I want his head on a platter.

UPDATE: My math is poor. Pedroia was also not named on every ballot. Our pal Evan Grant left him off and voted Youkilis first.

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Also, CTC was wrong.


Dustin is going to be so happy to hear about this when he comes in from recess.

It's a good thing that Pedroia didn't barely beat out an overrated yankee for the MVP, otherwise Rob would constantly bash him for the next two years.

No, it's a good thing that Justin Morneau didn't win again, or else I'd shut down baseball.

Why does Iracan hate Colonel Morneau so much?

It's just a shame Jody Reed isn't alive to see this.

You can't measure intangibles.

Cheer up, Youk. You win MVJ. L'chaim!

Congrats. So well deserved. The kid's got grit coming out of his ass.

I MUST know who voted for Jason Bartlett and Mike Mussina. What a crock of shit. Under what criteria is Audry Huff more valuable than Milton Bradley? How is Mike Mussina more valuable than Roy Halladay? So much anger...

Does John Feinstein get a vote? That may explain the Mussina vote.

Pictured above: 2008 American League MVP Dustin Pedroia (actual size)

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