Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us
- Red Sox and Braves Line Up to Tick Off Entire Country of Japan: Boston and Atlanta have allegedly made contract offers to Junichi Tazawa, the 22-year-old Japanese fella who has rejected the NPB and sought out riches in the West. Relations between Japan and the U.S. haven't been this contentious since the great schoolgirl panty shortage of nineteen dickety seven.
- Meanwhile, Other Japanese Players Spurn MLB, Dress Up as Bees: Yu Darvish, who was notably missing from our NPB roundup last week, has reiterated his lack of interest in crossing the Pacific by showing up at the Nippon Ham Fighters Fan Festival dressed as a bee.
- Trevor Hoffman Becomes Latest Answer For Omar Minaya's Shitty Bullpen Problems: The Mets are allegedly moving away from top-of-the-line closers like Frankie Rodriguez and focusing on 41-year-old Trevor Hoffman to solve their relief woes. They are also looking to bring on Huston Street as a set-up man. In other words, the Mets bullpen at new Citi Field just imploded itself.
- Billingsley Trips on a Crack, Breaks His Mother's Back: Actually, Dodgers ace pitcher Chad Billingsley slipped on some ice outside his house in Reading, PA and broke his own dumb leg. He had a metal plate inserted in there during surgery and is expected to return in time for spring training. Hey, Bud Selig wants to know if that's a performance-enhancing plate.
Back off Boston, you've already got your Japanese pitcher. This one is ours.
Meanwhile, So Taguchi sheepishly kicks the dirt.
Which part of South America does Trevor Hoffman hail from?
Chief, have you been to San Diego lately? Hoffman'll fit right in.