The Dutch Oven: Burning Up Your Crusty Meat

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • Fire Joe Morgan Shuttering Opens Up Gaping Comic Void in Blogosphere: Yes, the day we never hoped would come has jumped up at the very worst possible moment. Fire Joe Morgan, the best-written and funniest media criticism blog in the entire sportsblogosphere, is closing up shop because that Office TV show is too time-consuming. Or something about their families. I don't know.

  • Yankees Ship Wilson Betemit to Ozzieland: Forget Nick Swisher, the best part about yesterday's Yankees-White Sox trade was dumping Wilson Betemit. He was my least favorite Yankee, which means I can now focus my ire on Damaso Marte. I've got my eye on you, Marte!

  • At This Rate, Jake Peavy Will Only Pitch in Atlanta During Interleague: So San Diego G.M. Kevin Towers is now expanding his horizons on the Peavy trade, going past the Cubs and Braves and looking towards the American League. Hey Towers, send him to the Yanks and you can have Damaso Marte and Nick Swisher.

  • Ancient Pitcher Declares Independence from Cactus Corporation: Randy Johnson is going to get his 300th career win outside of Arizona. Unless, of course, he's pitching for another National League team playing a road game against the Diamondbacks. Hey, don't the Yankees need a top line starter?

Most importantly, free agent season starts today, so open up those pocketbooks and empty out your piggybanks!

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Another good thing about Betemit being gone is not having to listen to "Better Man" by Pearl Jam when he went to the plate. And the fact that he sucked.

The ire of Irancane's eye?

so open up those pocketbooks and empty out your piggybanks

The Mrs. and I submitted a 4-year, $3800 offer to Juan Castro for him to walk our dogs.

San Diego G.M. Kevin Towers is now expanding his horizons...
Careful there Kevin. Last time I expanded my horizons, my ass was sore for days.

Will Sun Bet A Mitt?

Also Fire Joe Morgan was the funniest thing in comedy. Yes, better than The Office. It was the humor equivalent of The Wire, only the guys who wrote FJM probably supported the drug laws. Anyway, this is the darkest day since Pearl Harbor or something.

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