The Dutch Oven: Filling Your Kitchen With Wafting Rumors

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • After Tough World Series Loss, Tampa Bay Rays Trim the Fat: The chick inside the Raymond costume at the Tropicana Dome got canned. Kelly Frank, who played the creepy Raymond for five seasons, was told by Rays owner Stuart Sternberg to, in his words, "Hit the bricks, sister." Note: those were not his words

  • Detroit Columnist Defends His K-Rod MVP Vote, His Gone With the Wind Commemorative Plate Collection: Tom Gage, columnist for something called a "newspaper" in some place called "Detroit", voted for Francisco Rodriguez on his AL MVP ballot. Why? Because he saved a lot of games, and the team he covered (some group of gentlemen called the "Tigers") blew a lot of saves. That explains why the Atlanta guy voted for Brad Lidge. OH ZING

  • Evan Grant Defends His Omission of Dustin Pedroia: Grant, the only AL voter to leave eventual winner Pedroia off his MVP ballot entirely, apologizes and says that he was trying to be too "cute" with his 10th place selection of Carlos Pena instead of Dustin. Then he throws Dustin under the bus by saying the kid finished just 18th in OPS and that the second baseman preferred Wendy's burgers over Animal Style at In-N-Out. Quelle horreur!

  • Brian Cashman Opens Up Purse, Pulls Out Giant Oversized Check: So the Yankees may be offering A.J. Burnett $80 million over five years. Not a bad payday for a dude who has been on the D.L. nine times in the last eight years. Meanwhile, ROBOTHAL says that the Sox are interested too, preparing a shorter offer with a larger annual salary. The World Champions may be priced out.

  • Jake Peavy Reconsiders His Relocation Plans: Hey, remember when Peavy's agent Barry Axelrod said that Peavy would only accept a trade to five National League teams? Yeah, he was only kidding. That was just a "rough sketch", he says. Translation: Peavy wants some of that New York City money!

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I think all baseball players should be paid with giant novelty checks handed to them by Ed McMahon. I hear he's available, too.

Lots of defending today. DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS

Peavy keeps this act up he'll be the only hot girl not asked to the senior prom.

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