The Dutch Oven: Waking Your Senses With Unconfirmed Rumors

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • Andy Petttitte Files For Free Agency, Sits By Telephone: Maybe Brian Cashman and the Yankees think their rotation is pretty flush already for 2009, having mentally assigned CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Derek Lowe slots in the starting staff. I say this because Andy Pettitte is ready and willing to come back for one year at half his 2008 salary, no questions asked, but still hasn't heard from the team. So, he filed for free agency to totally make them jealous.

  • Brewers Hire Willie Randolph to Give Ken Macha Wise, Morgan Freeman-like Black Man Advice: In one of the snooziest off-season hires, the Brew Crew hired a bench coach in the same way they hired a manager: seemingly picking a name out of the hat among unemployed manager-types. Willie Randolph will now assume a seat at the right hand of the Macha, dispensing advice about when to sac-bunt and what flavor latte goes best with a blueberry scone.

  • Buster Olney Says What We've All Been Thinking, Thinks What None of Us Would Ever Imagine: Yeah, he seems like a nice guy on the outside but when Buster Olney goes around suggesting the Giants would be best off signing CC Sabathia to a multi-multi-multi-million dollar contract, well then, we think he needs psychological evaluation. No Buster, another Zito-esque splash in the free agent pitcher market will do nothing for a team whose offensive leader was a Molina in 2008.

  • Columnist Predicts Free Agent Signings, Cowardly Hides Column Behind Paywall: Baseball Prospectus' John Perrotto's weekly "Every Given Sunday" piece intends to make an educated guess as to where each of the top free agents will end up. Here are his big predix: Sabathia to Yankees, Manny to Dodgers, Teixeira to Nationals, Lowe to Yankees, Dempster to Cubs, Burnett to Orioles, and of course Nick Punto to th...zzzzzzz.

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6 Comments

Willie Randolph will now assume a seat at the right hand of the Macha, dispensing advice about when to sac-bunt and what flavor latte goes best with a blueberry scone.

And he's trained to give the heimlich when Macha chokes on the scone.

The Willie Randolph hiring really does make sense if you've ever seen "The Legend of Bagger Vance".

Buster, Sabathia signing with the Giants makes as much sense as a merlot enema.

The New York press is really upset with Brewers management. Apparently they announced Willie's hiring at like 11:30 local time on Friday night.

Brian Cashman is the WORST evaluator of pitching I have ever seen. Andy Pettite wants to pitch for 8 million bucks? Jesus, I'd be at his fucking doorstep with flowers and bonbons!

I'm sure Cashman feels that Phil Hughes and Adam Kennedy can again be counted on for 68 starts, 450 innings and a 123 ERA+ in 2009.

What? What?! Where the hell is Nick Punto going?! I MUST KNOW!!!!!

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