Tonight's Questions

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Hey kids, boopy bop bip bip.

  • DID you read about the Nick Swisher and Kevin Gregg trades? I give them a C and a B- respectively.

  • HOW will I do on my ServSafe test? I've already learned that it's against code to j/o in the walk-in cooler.
See you tomorrow, suckers.

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But j/o into the New England Clam Chowder is so much more fun!

I had to sit through an 8 hour ServSafe class a few years ago. The test is a joke.

Its too cold to j/o in the cooler anyways

The biggest shocker in the Swisher trade is that it involved Jhonny Nunez. Someone needs to dispatch a "The Big Book of Baby Names" to wherever Jhonnys Peralta and Nunez are from.

You can't just put that H wherever you want, bendehos.


/does happy jig

I think the ServSafe alcohol program might have come in handy last night.

Meh to the trades.
Good luck on the test.
Useful tip: use broccoli to tickle your taint while you j/o in the cooler.

I know Batting Average is an outdated stat, and not a true indicator of a hitter's value and yada yada shut up Rob. But I thought this was awesome. 7 lowest BAs in baseball:

Nick Swisher, White Sox .219
Daric Barton, A's .226
Michael Bourn, Astros .229
Jack Cust, A's .231
Mark Ellis, A's .233
Rickie Weeks, Brewers .234
Kevin Millar, Orioles .234

Go A's!


I was fucking SHOCKED that Adam Dunn wasn't on your list, so I looked it up. Homeskillet his .236 this year. It seemed like every time I noticed, he was hitting .220. That means he must have hit .800 in September.

The lack of anything scientific in my theory doesn't stop it from being probably true.

There's less hypothermic ways to conduct a "stranger", you can just sit on your hand for a while to get it numb before taking python out of the cage.

Grady Sizemore: Gold Glover, Silver Slugger, but pure platinum in my heart.

I know a chick whose roomate boned Sizemore. Why? "Because why not? He's famous; I would have too."

Be sure to mention that I'm a celebrity next time you speak to her.

The roommate is a gerbil.

This has got to be like the internets own personal 9/11 right? I feel like a pillar of everything that is right in the world has fallen........

Apparently, it is time-consuming to write those awkward silences on The Office.

/Pours out 40

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