Crazy Corey Contract: Corey Patterson Signs With Nationals

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I wish I knew how to quit you, baseball, but you just won't let us get on with our holiday break. Corey Patterson, Walkoff Walk's favorite player we hate to love, has signed a minor league deal with the Washington Nationals. So yeah, Nationals fans, that's your consolation prize for playing along in the Mark Teixeira Sweepstakes.

If Corey makes the team out of spring training, he'll certainly improve the defense and couldn't possibly make the outfield offense any worse.

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Wow, Corey Patterson and Daniel Cabrera! That's TOTALLY consolation for not being

*hangs self*

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