The Dutch Oven: Big Enough to Report Massive CC Sabathia News

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • Sabathia Spurns Some Suitors, Signs for Six with Snew York Snankees: Joel Sherman of the New York Post is going out on a limb with this one, reporting that CC Sabathia has finally been persuaded to become a Yankee. After GM Brian Cashman jetted out to the coast to talk face-to-face with Sabathia for the third straight day, CC finally relented and decided to take the tens upon tens of millions of dollars the team was throwing in his general direction.

  • Ryan Freel and Farney Take Their Lunatic Show to Balty-more: The Reds and Orioles consummated a trade that will send utility outfielder Ryan Freel to the O's in exchange for catcher Ramon Hernandez. No telling as to whether Freel's imaginary friend Farney prefers crab cakes over Skyline chili.

  • Phillies Reward Uncle Cholly With Contract Extension, Enormous Brisket Sandwich: World Series champion manager Charlie Manuel can now count on job security through the 2011 season. By that point, the Mets will have gone through approximately 6 managers, twelve closers, and about 38 different actors playing Mr. Met.

  • Jeanne Zelasko Gets Shitcanned: ESPN reports that FOX is going to drop their shitty pregame show next year and most likely dismiss Jeanne Zelasko and dumb Kevin Kennedy. First Joe Morgan gets the pink slip and now Zelasko? Damn, I must have been a good boy this year!

  • Indians Close to Signing Kerry Wood: This cannot end well.

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I'm cautiously optimistic about the Kerry Wood deal. Him closing with Jensen Lewis setting them up is a nice combination. Still, it does feel like my team recruits on the island of misfit toys sometimes.

He signed only after Cashman agreed to still let him wear his hat crooked

The Indians would be better off with Jenny Lewis in the setup role. Not really, but I'd like her to set me up, if you catch my drift.

I want to sleep with her.

I liked her better when she was teamed up with Dina Martin.

Jensen Lewis was better when he was setting up The News.

Jensen Lewis could be the Indians Silver Lining

I am going to a wake today, and 9/10 of my knucklehead North Jersey family are Yankees fans. One of them may or may not wear a Sabathia jersey to the services.

I'll kick your ass, Rob.

Fat fuck falls into fantastical fiscal fandango.

I didn't know you are Rob are related

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