The Dutch Oven: Retaining the Hottest Rumours Until the Company Comes

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • Padres Fans Breathe Sigh of Relief, Offer Solace to Cardinals Fans: Happy to have Khalil Greene off their hands, fans of the ol' San Diego Padres have gladly provided a user's manual for the shortstop to his new team, the St. Louis Cardinals. Par exemple: "2a. In addition, do not stare at KhalilBot 5000 for more than six seconds, even though its gaze can by cryptically hypnotic.".

  • Mariners Double Down on 2013 Season, Push Putz Chip to Middle of Table: Remember when I said the Mariners could compete in 2009 with the addition of one or two big bats? Nevermind. New Seattle G.M. Jack Zduriencik is putting closer J.J. Putz on the trading block looking for some prospects; Omar Minaya's ears immediately perked up until he realized he has no prospects.

  • Yankees Giving Pettitte the High Hard One: Andy Pettitte made $16 million in 2008. The Yankees decided not to offer the guy arbitration and are now offering him $10 million for 2009. This is a 38% pay cut. Andy Pettitte and his agent are not pleased. Andy Pettitte's biggest fan (i.e. me) is not pleased.

  • Manny Might Make Many Monies Even If Only For One Year: Buster Olney reports that Manny Ramirez and super agent Scott Boras are finding few satisfactory offers on the free agent market and that they might just take the Dodgers' arbitration offer. Sure, that might be a tidy $30 million for one year of work, but it ain't the four years and $100 million that Manny deserves.

  • Rinku and Dinesh Enjoy American Thanksgiving Festival: Although he might be bewildered as to why Americans were "stuffing their heads" with food last Thursday, Rinku sure enjoyed the sweet potato pie. GAZAB!

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Its because we are fat lazy Americans. Duh.

Rinku and Dinesh were on CNN this morning:

This is the most boring day in WoW history

How can you not love Rinku and Dinesh? I want to see footage of their triumphant return to India.

We feed our heads because Grace Slick told us to. Our heads are stuffed because we forgot to get flu shots again.

I will continue to revisit this fine blog, for however long it takes, until we get a report from the poetry slam.


Agreed, we want to hear. The people have a right to know.

/Impatiently tapping foot

What, you guys think I have time to sit around and wait for a post?
Oh wait. I do....

I want a report from the poetry slam, I want daily posts on Rickey going to the Hall, and I want a dabbleboard.

Fine, I'll go first. Saw "The Wrestler" last night and it was frigging brilliant. Great performances, screenplay, and soundtrack plus lots of named Marissa Tomei. Let's have a poem about Marissa's pierced nipples, Maynard.

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead...sexiest sex scene or worst sex scene? Or BOTH???

The old lady and I had our first kid one week ago. I promise to do more WoWing next week.

Congrats Lloyd. Yeah, get your WoWing in now. Soon you won't even have time to turn on a computer.

matt_T, Rob already talked about Mike Mussina retiring.

Congrats Lloyd. Did you name the baby Rocco?

The reading went well.

Has anyone seen my teeth or my phone charger?

Congrats Lloyd. Hope everyone is happy and healthy.
If you've already named the kid, please consider Farthammer for a middle name.


Check Lloyd Jr's crib.

Congrats, Lloyd! The good thing about Wahoo is that it works as either a boy or girl name. Just saying.

Way to go, Lloyd. Congrats.

Looks like the A's are done with Furcal; he seems to be the only one thinking he is worth a ton of money.

Thanks folks, everyone is happy and healthy.

She's a girl, so the name I had picked out "LeRoy Rocco Rolen the Barber's Assistant" didn't work out so well. She'll have to make due.

Man oh man. Anytime Liakos comes through, I lose a sliver of my liver.

The reading went well, my friends just got engaged and way to go, Lloyd.


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