The Dutch Oven: Warming Your Coldest Nether Regions

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • Red Sox Pull Emergency Cord, Jump Out of Moving Teixeira Bus: It has to be true because John Henry sent an email. After powwowing with Mark Teixeira's agent Scott Boras and some other multi-millionaire owners in Dallas, Henry realized his completely rational contract offer just wasn't going to cut it. So he cut bait and sent an email to various media members saying, basically, that he'd let some other jerk blow their payroll wad on Tex.

  • Rinku and Dinesh Take a Break From Answering Fan Mail to Learn to Hit: Dinesh writes that he and Rinku have been very busy answering fan mail but have still found time to practice throwing breaking balls. Also, they're learning to hit and may soon step up to bunting. Fellas, just learn how to stand in the batter's box with the bat on your shoulder and forget the rest. That's how Randy Johnson do.

  • Brewers Sign Trot Nixon; Otis Nixon Still Attempting Comeback: The Brewers signed Trot Nixon to a minor league deal. He played a limited role as the 8th Mets outfielder last season, hitting .171 with one tater tot in 11 games. His last full year was 2007 with the Indians, he hit .251 with three ding-dongs in 99 games. I only repeat these statistics because I completely despise Trot Nixon.

  • Yankees Parade New Prized Possessions Around Old Park: The Yanks held a presser yesterday to introduce the new anchors to their rotation, CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett. Sabathia will wear #52 as he did in Cleveland and Milwaukee; Burnett will wear #34, the number he wore with the Marlins and Blue Jays. Nobody cares what number Nick Swisher will wear.

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If Rinku and Dinesh get in an hour of bunting practice they'll have more time than the entire Yankee roster combined.

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