Totally Titillating Teixeira Transpiration: Mark Teixeira Maybe a Yankee?

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We left you folks just a half hour ago and already we're forced to throw the dutch oven back on the fire: looks like the Yankees are on the verge of signing a one hundred and eighty million dollar deal with Mark Teixeira to have the young fella come play first base for the next eight years, as per Jon Heyman of Add this on to CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett and that's almost $425 million of new contracts for the Bronx Bombers this offseason.

Watch out, American League East fans. Texy can hit and he can glove with the best of 'em. He'll actually make Jeter, A-Rod and Cano just a little bit better by digging their errant throws out of the dirt. Now back to your regularly scheduled Holiday Questions.

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New post already...You can really never say goodbye.
Merry Christmas, Tex. Now go wipe your ass with a couple of hundreds.


Also LOL to everyone who really thought he'd sign with the Nats or OriLOLes

About that complete overhaul . . .

At least now Teixeira can go back to his mansion to stare at a blank wall until Spring Training begins.

Thanks for the Christmas wish, Iracane. You are a real good guy.

Now, I am cheering for them to sign Manny, Lowe, Fuentes,and resign Abreu. I really do. I want this to be the craziest offseason haul in history. Then, I want the Knicks to get Lebron, Bosh and Wade in 2010.

And maybe the Rangers could sign some hockey dudes.

Then, and only then, will I become a NY sports fan. They gotta get 'em all before I'll turn.

Are we sure the Yankees don't have access to the Treasury Department's money-printing room?

Maybe Atlanta will go after Manny now.

I will believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert

That's it, rarebit! The Yankees, in addition to being a major league baseball club, a television network in the largest media market in the country, a construction company and hot dog manufacturer extraordinaire... they're also a bank!

With what's left of their share of the $700B, they ought to be able to sign Manny and Lowe no problem.

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