The Dutch Oven: Just Like You, It's Doughy in the Middle

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • Mariners Acquire Recent Orioles Pitcher From Cubs, Mayflower Moving Company Stock Ticks Up: Hope you didn't unpack your bags, young left-handed pitcher Garrett Olson! Mere days after being traded from Baltimore to Chicago for outfielder Felix Pie, Olson is set to head west to Seattle as part of the Ronny Cedeno/Aaron Heilman deal. The M's are stockpiling young southpaws as if they had some sort of magic inside of them that can combat the current economic crisis.

  • Jon Garland Signs With Diamondbacks, Packs Light Lunch For Short Flight: Former Angels righty Jon Garland has inked a one-year deal with Arizona where he will be paid about $8 million for posting a slightly worse-than-average ERA with mediocre strikeout numbers and a decent walk rate. Expect his homers allowed to go up in the dry 'n' high desert atmosphere and expect his burrito intake to remain steady at 2.5 per day.

  • Will Clark Returns to San Francisco, Giants Players Recoil in Fear: Former Giants first baseman Will Clark is headed back to the team as a special assistant to the front office. It's just an honorary title as his only duties will be to show up at fan events and wave, and sometimes visit some of the Giants farm teams to whip them kids into shape. Just keep The Thrill away from the champers, dudes.

  • Barry Bonds Had Naughty Pee-Pee: Looks like Barry Bonds urine had a trace of steroids in it that wasn't related to the cream or the clear. Whoops.

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I have a naughty pee-pee. It gets angry and spits at girls.

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